separated from my non believer husband and i dont want a divorce

[allproblemsdie]

We've been married for 3 yrs and after he went to Korea he changed. I found out he had several affairs and even has a "girlfriend."
He now drinks a lot of alcohol and smokes, and spends a lot of money; sometimes he even forgets to pay the bills and we get behind. It's like he doesn't care about anything, not even about planning about the future.
He seems not to care about spending time with our daughter, but that might just be because she doesn't know him very well.
We have been separated for about 8 months (he is still in Korea).
I don't want to divorce, but I don't know how to bring him back again. And its even harder because he is not here, and he rarely calls anymore. He even said he was going to stay overseas for another year and that broke my heart. I know that the only way he will change his ways is if he gets to know god, but he doesn't believe and he hates church.
I don't know what to do or say to bring him back. I've been praying for him a lot and I want to invite him to church and i hope he says yes.

Can anyone give me some advice on what I should do?
Is it selfish of me to want him to change so he can be with his family?
Thank you

 

[peacechild4]

Its not selfish.. sounds a really hard situation.. will pray for you.. I don't really know what advice to give you hopefully someone else can.. might seek legal advice because he is not even in the same country that is weeird and it isn't fair that you are coping with all the bills.. sounds like he has given up...

 

[dayhiker]

Hi All,
Welcome to CF.

I hear the services have a lot of programs to help guys that having issues. They didn't have much when I was in. So I think it would be good for you to look into those and see what the service can do to help. Sounds like somthing happened that took the wind out of his sails. Since he didn't see combat in Korea, I'm guessing its something else. He needs a comfortable and secure place to be able to talk about it.

Anyways, I'll say a prayer also.

 

[iambren]

I think the following conversation is appropriate:


"Hon, in choosing to stay away from me so long I need to ask you---do you want a divorce?". And if he says yes scripture instructs you to let him go. If he says no then pray that the Lord would bring you together soon.