Separated and vacation

[Indea88]

My husband has been gone for 6 weeks, he comes by weekly to see our son. We have a Disney Cruise scheduled and has been finalized for over one year. I reminded him today about the date of the vacation in 1 month and he didn't say no,he wasn't going..I need to know in order to cancel or continue with our plans to go.. I can't go alone with the kids, it would be too much to handle. This could be a way to begin a possible reconsiliation. Anyone have any thoughts about how to handle this situation.

 

[madison1101]

Talk to him and ask him specifically what he plans to do with the cruise. If you can't go alone and it is already paid for, see if someone can join you and the kids without him, if he chooses not to go. The only way you will know what his plans are is to ask him.

 

[tryingtobeagain]

My advice would be to talk to him honestly and ask him for an answer in writing (my daughter's father is a lawyer and I have this horrible habit of getting everything in writing so he dosen't change his mind and try to sue me for the cost kind of deal). If he puts in writing that he is not going and the trip can't be canceled, then find a good friend or family member and have some fun. If he does decide to go, then there might be an opportunity to reconcile, but don't push the issue. Relax and have fun with him without pressuring him to reconcile the marriage. Don't be foolish either and sleep with him on the trip because he may come back and want nothing to do with you again. Definately have fun with your son though... it will be a positive memory for your son either way.

 

[Indea88]

Since the trip has been paid for, I suspect this is the reason he would go...Then when we return he's off on his merry way. I was going to cancel but the room is a huge suite, and I might never have the opportunity again for awhile to travel this way. It should prove to be interesting however it winds up!

 

[satguy2000]

Since the trip has been paid for, I suspect this is the reason he would go...Then when we return he's off on his merry way. I was going to cancel but the room is a huge suite, and I might never have the opportunity again for awhile to travel this way. It should prove to be interesting however it winds up!

I think the two first posts were right on in terms of getting the expectations out there as you do not wish to be taken advantage of and this would be my first worry for you. It sounds like you have some nice people here looking out for you in that regards

One proposal (but this could be cost prohibitive) would be to have seperate rooms.

 

[momoftwocuteboys8]

I agree also with the other posters. Just talk to him and try to get a definate answer one way or the other. If he does decide to still go that would be great, if not I would try to get someone else to go. It would be great to get away for awhile and have some fun, especially for your son.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

Take grandma with you.

 

[Brotherfromanothermother]

I'd recommend seeing what kind of loss you'd take cashing out the tickets, put the money in a private savings to save for you and the kids to take a trip down the road and don't give him the opportunity either way. He left so as far as I'm concerned he doesn't really have a say.

 

[overit]

Indea, what ages are the kids that you say it's too much to handle alone? At a Disney Cruise, the kids will be spending a lot of time in the events and you could have some down/relax time. I know if I had a big suite, vac paid for on a cruise w/my boys at their age (5 and 7) I wouldn't hesitate for a second to go, even if alone! See if you can find a friend, or your mom, or sibling to go with you and enjoy. If he wants to go, he can speak up now or you could ask him. If he refuses to answer, go ahead and make plans w/out him and go! He may purposely not be saying anything to keep you wondering and not being able to make plans of your own in the meantime.