Sensitivity without reason

[KCDAD]

I had a discussion this morning about someone who was all upset about Red Auerbach (a former Basketball coach) dieing at age 89 of a heart attack. I asked why they were upset about it and they got all bent out of shape saying that I was an insensitive jerk. All I wanted to know was why be upset about an old man dying when over 6000 people died in this country yesterday. Why was the sense of loss so great for this guy that had been out of sports for many years, had lived a long and apparently productive life and NO relationship with the mourning person whatsoever. Other than having his name mentioned on the news, why get upset over this guy?
Any ideas? Comment? Insults?

 

[Arnold_Philips]

It's generally tactless to show insensitivity about death, especially recent death.

 

[Mrs.Sidhe]

I just have a question and I hope you don't take offense to this..

Why must someone have a reason for sensitivity?

Maybe the person you mention went to that school or was a devout fan. Who knows...but just for tacts sake you probably should not have said anything about it to the person.

 

[KCDAD]

None of the above... the only factor was it was mentioned on the radio. What about the other 5999 or more that died also?

 

[Mrs.Sidhe]

What of them? What of anyone who dies? If this person felt something for this person I'm just saying for tacts sake it may have been best not to say anything.

 

[KCDAD]

What of them? What of anyone who dies? If this person felt something for this person I'm just saying for tacts sake it may have been best not to say anything.

Did you not read what I wrote... they KNOW NOTHING about this guy except that the radio said he was dead..

 

[Mrs.Sidhe]

Don't dare get an attitude with me...who do you think you are?

I know what you wrote. WHO CARES IF THEY ACTUALLY KNEW THE GUY! They where upset for a reason obviously! That person for whatever reason (maybe one you don't know) was important to them. So I'll put my statement more bluntly, since obivously you aren't understanding. Maybe you should have just kept your mouth shut instead of asking questions.

 

[KCDAD]

Don't dare get an attitude with me...who do you think you are?

I know what you wrote. WHO CARES IF THEY ACTUALLY KNEW THE GUY! They where upset for a reason obviously! That person for whatever reason (maybe one you don't know) was important to them. So I'll put my statement more bluntly, since obivously you aren't understanding. Maybe you should have just kept your mouth shut instead of asking questions.

I always am amazed at how upset people get when they realize their "well thought out" answers are not gobbled up by others like so much Halloween candy. Question someone's thoughts or feelings and oh my gosh... "you mean I have to make sense when I say something?"

Who do I think I am... someone who asked a serious question and didn't want shallow responses. Would like to take another stab at explaining the mentality of American media slaves that respond to one "celebrity" death and ignore 6000 other real people who also died?

 

[Mrs.Sidhe]

I always am amazed at how upset people get when they realize their "well thought out" answers are not gobbled up by others like so much Halloween candy. Question someone's thoughts or feelings and oh my gosh... "you mean I have to make sense when I say something?"

I did make sense. Whether you understood or not is your problem. Maybe you didn't like being told "yeah you were being insensitive...Why don't you start making sense of why you think this person has to have a reason for being upset?!

Who do I think I am... someone who asked a serious question and didn't want shallow responses. Would like to take another stab at explaining the mentality of American media slaves that respond to one "celebrity" death and ignore 6000 other real people who also died?

Obviously who you are is someone who gets an attitude because people aren't jumping to your defense. My response wasn't shallow. I explained my position, and you taking offense was shallow. I can see your point about 1 "celebrity" death not being more important than the other 6000 people, but that does not mean the "celebrity" wasn't a real person. Nor does it mean the other 6000 people don't matter just because this person was metioned on the radio. Like I said...for whatever reason the person was upset by this person's death. You should have left it at that.

I hope you understand with this post, because I'm not explaining it to you again.

 

[TeddyKGB]

Humans tend to have stronger emotional ties to those with whom they are more familiar. I don't know if the strength of the connection varies linearly or exponentially with familial distance, but it's not all that surprising.

 

[flicka]

People can feel for those they know OF, even if they don't know them personally. I'm sure you have felt the same way about someone famous who died, even if you never met them.

 

[bammertheblue]

Obviously if someone is upset that someone died, they felt something for them. Maybe they never met them, but the deceased was still important to them, and that is why they are upset.

 

[kopilo]

People can feel for those they know OF, even if they don't know them personally. I'm sure you have felt the same way about someone famous who died, even if you never met them.

One reason might be that they can relate to that person and so when that person dies, the person they use to relate to has gone, thus evoking a feeling of dispare and annoyance...

Just a thought.

 

[TheMissus]

You've never been affected emotionally by the death of a celebrity? You've never been bothered when someone you looked up to dies? I certainly have.

 

[Vimes177]

RIP Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter...you shall be missed...

Insensitivity is a good point that's been made already. I didn't know Steve; he didn't know me. But he was an awesome guy, and the world is worse off without him (I personally think).

 

[KCDAD]

Ok... here's a hint: It's socially acceptable to grieve and feel badly if a celebrity dies but how can society continue to maintain the staus quo if we have to deal with 6000 or more dying everyday.

My friend told me later that Red Auerbach's death reminded her of 30 years ago when she and her dad used to watch Celtics games together. She missed her Dad. Her Dad lives about 2 hours away by car and about 1 minute away by phone.

 

[Texas Lynn]

Don't mess with sports fans.

Jimmy Caan's death scene in "Brian's Song" was more drawn out and convoluted than Camille's!

 

[SallyNow]

I had a discussion this morning about someone who was all upset about Red Auerbach (a former Basketball coach) dieing at age 89 of a heart attack. I asked why they were upset about it and they got all bent out of shape saying that I was an insensitive jerk. All I wanted to know was why be upset about an old man dying when over 6000 people died in this country yesterday. Why was the sense of loss so great for this guy that had been out of sports for many years, had lived a long and apparently productive life and NO relationship with the mourning person whatsoever. Other than having his name mentioned on the news, why get upset over this guy?
Any ideas? Comment? Insults?

Maybe the person was a huge fan. Maybe they had had a very bad day or week, and this news just set them off. There are so many "maybe's"...

My friend told me later that Red Auerbach's death reminded her of 30 years ago when she and her dad used to watch Celtics games together. She missed her Dad. Her Dad lives about 2 hours away by car and about 1 minute away by phone.

Uh... yah. People get homesick sometimes, even when they are just a half-hour away. It may not be "reasonable" to you, but for her, it set off a cascade of emotion.

Sometimes people get nostalgic. They'll have a lot on their mind, and see a park they used to play in... and well up with tears, remembering the carefree days of being 6 years old and playing on the swings. Or, they'll remember a friend who lives several hours away now, who they haven't spoken to in a while. Or they'll see something a movie that reminds them of a very sad time, or a good time they miss...

Many movies sell millions of tickets on the fact that people will feel along with the characters, and will laugh, cry, and feel for and with the characters.

There is actually a term for it: catharsis. Here's a Wiki article on it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catharsis

A better approach to someone who is crying is, "Is there anything I can do" or "It's okay, let it out, I'm here for you". Save the philosophical discussions for later.

 

[Bananafish]

My friend told me later that Red Auerbach's death reminded her of 30 years ago when she and her dad used to watch Celtics games together. She missed her Dad. Her Dad lives about 2 hours away by car and about 1 minute away by phone.

My question for you is, why are you so sensitive about her being upset?

Is she not allowed to miss her dad? Even if he is "only" 2 hours away, she can still miss him. Maybe she missed the memory. She can't exactly relive that exact feeling, even if her dad is close by.

 

[KCDAD]

Don't mess with sports fans.

Jimmy Caan's death scene in "Brian's Song" was more drawn out and convoluted than Camille's!

I am still crying 40 years later about that.