Selfishness....

[Galadriel]

Hey all,
I never realized this before till now, but really when a person is selfish, it only serves to put everyone else out. Its like shock waves, when one person acts selfishly, they cause others to suffer at their expense.

Heres an example, well, say like your sister has a baby. She decides she doesnt want to take care of the baby because she wants to party all the time, and not take responsibility for what she did (having the baby). So she takes the baby, and puts it on her mother, so in her selfishness her mother is put out. Not only is her mother put out, you (her sister) start to get resentful because your mother is spending all her time with your sister's baby, and so because of your sister's selfishness, you and your mom lose out some and have to suffer. See what Im illustrating here? The like "shock wave" effect that selfishness has. It effects everyone else around the selfish person, and sooner or later its going to come right back to them.

However the only true way to really recieve and be satisfied by getting is to really be unselfish. When you are unselfish, and the other person is unselfish, you both give and in giving each get what the other needs.
Im not sure I illustrated this the best, but feel free to add comments.

 

[Christi]

I SO agree with you. We all have choices, and we always tend to think they only effect us. In nearly every case, they start in motion a chain of events that is either downward or upward. That's been my experience anyway. It seems like when I put my feelings, and my self, and my wants, and my wishes away, and do something out of obedience to God or for the betterment of someone else, things just go so much better.

 

[flyfishing]

Hey all,
I never realized this before till now, but really when a person is selfish, it only serves to put everyone else out. Its like shock waves, when one person acts selfishly, they cause others to suffer at their expense.

Heres an example, well, say like your sister has a baby. She decides she doesnt want to take care of the baby because she wants to party all the time, and not take responsibility for what she did (having the baby). So she takes the baby, and puts it on her mother, so in her selfishness her mother is put out. Not only is her mother put out, you (her sister) start to get resentful because your mother is spending all her time with your sister's baby, and so because of your sister's selfishness, you and your mom lose out some and have to suffer. See what Im illustrating here? The like "shock wave" effect that selfishness has. It effects everyone else around the selfish person, and sooner or later its going to come right back to them.

However the only true way to really recieve and be satisfied by getting is to really be unselfish. When you are unselfish, and the other person is unselfish, you both give and in giving each get what the other needs.
Im not sure I illustrated this the best, but feel free to add comments.

Or you could look at is as future training for your familys future. Love the baby it seems like mommy needs prayer...

 

[Galadriel]

Or you could look at is as future training for your familys future. Love the baby it seems like mommy needs prayer...

I know what your sayin, but I just made this example up out of my head to illustrate how its like a chain effect.

 

[fieldmouse3]

I definitely agree with you...I'm working on being a little less selfish in some areas of my life!

 

[craig_on_fire]

Yeah because it's such a natural thing to look after number 1 before anyone else.

I do admit I struggle with selfishness.. I do sometimes forget that I've been "saved to serve" so to speak.

It's our responsibility to serve others just like our God the Servant King.

 

[Blessed-one]

yeah, self-centeredness.. it's all about self.. and why we need God!

 

[JesusInMyHeart]

"Amen"..this is a wonderful posting...thank you...

****************

Love seeks not their own: is not selfish; does not insist upon its own rights. Love is not focused upon who one is nor upon what one has done. Love seeks to serve, not have others serving oneself. Love is acknowledging others, not insisting that others acknowledge oneself; it is giving to others, not insisting that others give to oneself.

Cure selfishness and you have just replanted the garden of Eden.” Adam and Eve rejected God’s way so that they could have their own. Self replaced God. That is the opposite of righteousness and the opposite of love. Love is not preoccupied with its own things but with the interests of others.

What’s the cure for selfishness?

Answer:
Focus on our great Savior.

As always, Jesus is our perfect model. He “did not come to be served, but to serve” (Matt. 20:28). The Son of God lived His life for others. God incarnate was love incarnate. He was the perfect incarnation of self-giving love. He never sought His own welfare, but always the welfare of others.

 

[fieldmouse3]

"Amen"..this is a wonderful posting...thank you...

****************

Love seeks not their own: is not selfish; does not insist upon its own rights. Love is not focused upon who one is nor upon what one has done. Love seeks to serve, not have others serving oneself. Love is acknowledging others, not insisting that others acknowledge oneself; it is giving to others, not insisting that others give to oneself.

Cure selfishness and you have just replanted the garden of Eden.” Adam and Eve rejected God’s way so that they could have their own. Self replaced God. That is the opposite of righteousness and the opposite of love. Love is not preoccupied with its own things but with the interests of others.

What’s the cure for selfishness?

Answer:
Focus on our great Savior.

As always, Jesus is our perfect model. He “did not come to be served, but to serve” (Matt. 20:28). The Son of God lived His life for others. God incarnate was love incarnate. He was the perfect incarnation of self-giving love. He never sought His own welfare, but always the welfare of others.

Amen to that....help us all focus on YOU, Jesus!!!

 

[JesusInMyHeart]

As always, Jesus is our perfect model. He “did not come to be served, but to serve” (Matt. 20:28). The Son of God lived His life for others. God incarnate was love incarnate. He was the perfect incarnation of self-giving love. He never sought His own welfare, but always the welfare of others.

"Amen"...

 

[repentandbelieve]

Hey all,
I never realized this before till now, but really when a person is selfish, it only serves to put everyone else out. Its like shock waves, when one person acts selfishly, they cause others to suffer at their expense.

Heres an example, well, say like your sister has a baby. She decides she doesnt want to take care of the baby because she wants to party all the time, and not take responsibility for what she did (having the baby). So she takes the baby, and puts it on her mother, so in her selfishness her mother is put out. Not only is her mother put out, you (her sister) start to get resentful because your mother is spending all her time with your sister's baby, and so because of your sister's selfishness, you and your mom lose out some and have to suffer. See what Im illustrating here? The like "shock wave" effect that selfishness has. It effects everyone else around the selfish person, and sooner or later its going to come right back to them.

However the only true way to really recieve and be satisfied by getting is to really be unselfish. When you are unselfish, and the other person is unselfish, you both give and in giving each get what the other needs.
Im not sure I illustrated this the best, but feel free to add comments.

Within the the "shock wave" effect there is also a "domino effect".
The selfish act on the part of the daughter has placed extra burdens of responsibility on others in the family. This can also cause the other family members to think or act selfishly.

For example, the mother may begin to think or act selfishly because she no longer has the time to do the things she used to be able to do. Or the sister may begin to think or act selfishly because the new baby has cut into the amount of attention she used to get from Mom.

Each person has to fight their own battle against selfishness. Within all of us is a selfish desire for pleasure and ease. When something comes along that takes away fom these desires of our carnel heart the natural thing to do is to think selfishly. This is the cause of much bitterness, anger and resentment. The root is selfishness.

 

[LuxPerpetua]

To me one of the most moving parts of the Bible is at the Last Supper when Jesus washes the disciples' feet. I cry every time. What a perfect model of the selflessness which we should practice every day!

 

[Daily Miracle]

I have my selfish moments, but I thank God I had a decent upbringing. My most selfish acts are in my prayers. I don't want to make everything about ME when I pray to God, so I'm working on this.

Sometimes I think we enable people to be selfish. Like the example above. If the baby's mom didn't have anyone to babysit so she could party...she can't go, and her life style has to change.

 

[TherapyDogLove]

Hey all,
I never realized this before till now, but really when a person is selfish, it only serves to put everyone else out. Its like shock waves, when one person acts selfishly, they cause others to suffer at their expense.

Heres an example, well, say like your sister has a baby. She decides she doesnt want to take care of the baby because she wants to party all the time, and not take responsibility for what she did (having the baby). So she takes the baby, and puts it on her mother, so in her selfishness her mother is put out. Not only is her mother put out, you (her sister) start to get resentful because your mother is spending all her time with your sister's baby, and so because of your sister's selfishness, you and your mom lose out some and have to suffer. See what Im illustrating here? The like "shock wave" effect that selfishness has. It effects everyone else around the selfish person, and sooner or later its going to come right back to them.

However the only true way to really recieve and be satisfied by getting is to really be unselfish. When you are unselfish, and the other person is unselfish, you both give and in giving each get what the other needs.
Im not sure I illustrated this the best, but feel free to add comments.

I totally agree with you. I had to learn the hard way how not to be selfish. I am still to this day repenting of it. its so easy to commit the sin of selfishness and not even realize you're doing it. I can't begin to tell you how many times I've been called selfish in recent years. TONS! Of course I used to get defensive, because I was shocked that I could be selfish if I have a kind, compassionate, tender heart. But I was wanting to do something important to me during a time that wasn't best, and that's how it happened. The devil blinds you into thinking that you are just getting what you need or desire and that you deserve it and that its harmless. That's what it means by having to sacrifice your needs for the needs of others. There are going to be tough times and sometimes you will have to give something up in order for it not to be at the expense of another person. You have to suffer the loss of something that is important to you in order to not be selfish and its hard but necessary if you are going to be a true follower of Christ.

 

[Philippe2]

I have noticed other people being selfish, only to realise afterwards that I am much worse. May God have mercy on me!

 

[Muzza]

Selfishness is like a cancer, if you don't find it or realise that it's there, before too long it'll eat away at your life. Everyone has the capacity to be selfish, and most people act on that, the sad thing is though, that in noticing other peoples selfishness we often tend to overlook any selfish acts that we ourselves often do.

The only way to be truly selfless is to make sure you're aware of every reason and every driving influence behind anything you do. Otherwise you find selfishness creeping in to areas that we aren't taking notice of.

One area that I've noticed people are particularly selfish in, is the area of listening. It is very hard to find a good listener in this day and age. Most people are completely caught up in the phenomenon of 'me'. If something isn't about 'me' then its not worth listening to. If people aren't focusing on 'me' then they're not worth my time. You see that all over the place, if you just take the time to look for it.

Being selfless is not an easy thing. Maybe you're having a really hard day, and someone comes up to you and starts complaining about some thing going on in their lives that you really don't see as all that much of a problem. Sure there is a place in which you can say that to them, that what they're worrying about really isn't that much of a stress issue. But also we should have the respect and basic decency to just listen to the person, give them some time, you'll probably be quite surprised at what you can learn.

For myself I have been sick for the last 4 years, every day i'm in a lot of pain, im always tired, aching muscles and sometimes joints. In that time i've learned just how important it is to listen to people. It hurts me a lot when people ask how I am and end up just being polite, they really don't want to know the answer, its just the polite greeting these days. I have found very few people that will actually take the time to sit down and listen without interrupting or bringing up the latest thing in their lives, basically people will either ignore you or talk over you, again this comes back to the 'me' mentality.

I did a counselling course a couple of years ago, and one of the most important things you learn on a course like that is how to listen. Listening is being there for someone, not interrupting them, not overtalking them, just being there and giving them the attention they deserve. I'm very careful when talking to friends, not to just barge in and leave them annoyed because I didn't bother listening to them, it's such a small thing to listen to someone, but it means so much to them. Yes there will be people that take advantage of that, people who complain all the time, most of those times about rather pathetic things. But there are far too many people who are walking around just wanting someone to listen to them, even if its just once. So next time someone starts talking to you about some problem they're going through and you feel the urge to butt in with your latest thing, just don't. Instead try listening.

 

[Philippe2]

Muzza,
You just gave the perfect answer. It looks like your suffering has brought you close to Christ. May you even grow closer to him.
God Bless
Phil