Ayn Rand wrote that being selfish - full of self, is actually good and necessary. I agree that before we love ourselves, it's very difficult to truly love another. If we don't care for ourselves, how can we care for our children?
However, the buttons that selfishness pushes in me are anecdotes of people who were selfish, as in, only caring for self, and not caring for others. Heather used to say, "I'm going to Florida!" because she wanted the class to envy her. I once told my roommate Chad, who had made a steak with sauteed mushrooms, that smelled great. With disdain, he said, "what? Do you want me to give you a bit or something?" I didn't. It was just a comment, and he took it as a threat, like, I was trying to steal something from him.
This is usually what i see from people that are insistant that they are only responsible to self - they see others as a threat, others who "steal" from them, and hold their possessions with fear and distrust.
Since moving to Canada, I've noticed a subtle difference here. People are responsible to self, but also to the community. They realize that making a strong community, a strong education system, in turn, helps them. It's reciprocal.
And that seems a far better life.
Let's say that I went to the store and got a big bag of M&M's for my class. We didn't use all of them, and I still had some, but rather than offer them to the other teachers, I just keep them for myself.
It's not that big of a deal to the teachers, but the principle is - that I have more than enough, but refuse to share. That is what the problem is that I see in the US, and then we wonder why we have problems with violence and social unrest, homeless people in a wealthy nation, children living in poverty, etc.
I once asked a girl from Nepal the difference between her country and the States. She said, "We go to work, come home, eat supper, and then go visit with our friends and neighbors. Here, you go to work, come home, lock your door, eat supper and watch TV. It seems so selfish not to share yourself with other people."
And then people in the States complain about how lonely they feel or how cold the world is. It's because we only think of ourselves, and never as a community (which is also ourselves.)
When the body is cold, it takes the warmth from the feet and hands and moves it to the vital organs. It works as a body. In a society, where people refuse to think of anyone but themselves, it's like the extremeties saying, "Hey, I'm warm enough - the vitals can find their own heat." And were that to happen, we would probably die walking outside.
I don't believe that we are set up to be islands. I think that mankind is set up to need each other - to love each other, to feel love, to have to ask for help, feel lonely to motivate us to seek out others.
So, if one lives their life only taking for the self, not smiling at the morning person giving you coffee because you don't want to and it does nothing for your gain, not offering help to someone who needs it, not opening a door for someone that is struggling, it makes you hardened, uncaring, and is its own punishment, because it cuts you off from other people, and that connection with other people, that flow of energy between each other, is what I think is God.
So, you live in isolation, not just from people, but from God as well, distrustful, insecure about the potential to lose something, suspicious, hardened.
I keep seeing the image of Daffy Duck, when he finally finds the Jewels, yelling, "their mine! All mine!"
The first words out of a 2 year old.
