Self-worth

[thenewageriseth]

Thanks for the advice and I really hope it helped some people but I'm beyond help.
I'm of no value to anybody, my time here on earth is meaningless. I don't know why people put up with me, I'm just a burden to everybody.

Girl, I understand where you're coming from. I am one person who can complain and whine her lungs out and I sometimes seem like a very negative person to be around. I'll have to keep most problems to myself.

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

I hated myself at one point, but I definitely don't anymore.



You are of value to GOD.

Who do you feel like you are a burden to and why?

I felt like I was a burden to everyone at one point, too. Those feelings led to me feeling suicidal, but fortunately, I didn't act on those feelings -- if I had of, I would never have had the opportunity to feel better.

I'm a burden to everyone because I do not contribute anything of value to anyone. Maybe I posted just to get attention.

 

[espen]

I have had periods of my life where I have felt that I didn't have anything to offer. My change came after accepting Christ and studying Gods words. I now realise that Gods love for us is unconditional. It is not something we earn it something he gives us. In this world it's different, sometimes people will only give us love if they can recieve something back. It's easy to get discouraged but please don't give up. As you can see from all the replies you are getting, people care about you even if they don't know who you are. I'm sure you have something good inside.

 

[LoG]

I'm a burden to everyone because I do not contribute anything of value to anyone. Maybe I posted just to get attention.

Sometimes we need to ask ourselves whether we even want to contribute or if we simply don't know of anything of value to contribute.

In either case the solution comes through prayer by either asking the Lord for the willingness to help others or to put someone in our path who we can help.
If the prayer is sincere, the answer will come.

 

[Mayflower1]

I did and I still do but the good thing to do about it is write affirmations everyday. I will start and show you how only I will use you instead of me.

You,TLB, are a very lovable person.
You,TLB, are a very worthy person.
You,TLB, are a very extraordinary person.
You,TLB, am beginning to like yourself.

Write affirmations like that over and over again using I, your name, then you and your name and then she in your name in groups of five. The doctors told me, pretty soon it makes your brain accept that. It is something we all need to accept, that we are wonderful creations of God even though it is so hard sometimes when everything you do seems to be wrong and everything you think seems to be bad... there are always good things about ourselves though and those are the things that we need to focus on. Best Wishes, I will pray for all of you. Lily00

 

[Daysoni]

I often feel like this it is a daily battle. Some days are better then others. I guess we just keep praying and walk with God and eventually somethings going to change.

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

I did and I still do but the good thing to do about it is write affirmations everyday. I will start and show you how only I will use you instead of me.

You,TLB, are a very lovable person.
You,TLB, are a very worthy person.
You,TLB, are a very extraordinary person.
You,TLB, am beginning to like yourself.

Write affirmations like that over and over again using I, your name, then you and your name and then she in your name in groups of five. The doctors told me, pretty soon it makes your brain accept that. It is something we all need to accept, that we are wonderful creations of God even though it is so hard sometimes when everything you do seems to be wrong and everything you think seems to be bad... there are always good things about ourselves though and those are the things that we need to focus on. Best Wishes, I will pray for all of you. Lily00

I will make a real effort to do that. It is hard though when as you say I think that everything I do and say seems to be wrong.

 

[gezusroxmasox]

Does anybody else themselves so much that they don't believe they have anything good inside? No matter what anybody tells them they can't believe it?

I'm not looking for advice, just want to know if anybody's in the same boat.
Some people have tried to help and I appreciate their efforts but nothing works.

I feel that way a lot, I have a very low self-esteem. I don't know what I'm good at, but I know God has given me a purpose here and He has given me something I'm good at, I just have to discover it. But yea, I'm in the same boat

 

[Mayflower1]

I will make a real effort to do that. It is hard though when as you say I think that everything I do and say seems to be wrong.

Yes, I know what you mean. I mess up a lot. I am always thinking bad things, always imagining myself as a victim. As I think I do and I feel guilty over that. One of the doctors at the hospital though told me that the more I fight it and fight against myself on the mistakes I make and the feelings that I feel, the worse it will become. From experience, I know now to tell you TLB not to ignore your feelings. When you feel some way or feel guilty about a mistake, recognize it, write your feelings down about it, then write the affirmations, the true message. The more you don't accept the good person you are though and focus on the bad qualities, the more consumed you will get in it. I got so consumed in it, I was putting my face in the dirt and planning suicide becuase I didn't think that I was worth the air I was breathing. Thank God He helped me before it was too late. Pray and seek and He will help you also. Hope that helps you. I will pray for you. Lily00

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

Thank you to everyone for your encouragement. I'm starting to feel a bit more positive about myself and I'm hoping everyone else who is also battling to see good in themselves will too.
I was thinking that maybe everyone who has a negative self-image could think of one thing that they like about themselves and post it here and every time they visit the forum they could think of a different thing then maybe after a while we'll start realising that we do have good in us and are worth something. It might not be easy to start with but I know everyone can do it.

I guess I should start it off then - I get concerned when somebody I know is going through a difficult time so I guess that makes me a caring person.

Anybody else got something positive to say about themselves?

 

[gezusroxmasox]

Well, I'm the type of girl who gives in a lot, I'm a weakling. If someone hurts me physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually, I usually don't do anything back to hurt them. I used to before I was a Christian. But since I've been a Christian, I guess because my self-esteem is really low and I don't ever want to hurt anyone, I don't do anything back, I let people trample me and treat me like crap. I can't stand up for myself. Although now, if someone was making fun of Christ and what He did for us and still is doing for us, I would stand up for what I believe in. I also don't keep grudges. Although staying in the past probably feeds on keeping grudges. But I guess the good thing about me would be that I'm maybe merciful.

 

[Mayflower1]

That is good TLB, take out the I guess, and say you are a VERY caring person, and you got yourself an affirmation!!! (I know the very can be hard to write from experience.)

So it is hard to say this but it is the truth.

I am a VERY sweet and caring person plus a wonderful singer!!!

Who is next? Lily00

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

Where is everybody? There can't only be three of us who can see some good in themselves. If I can find something than everyone can!

I've having a problem thinking of a second thing though, I'm fairly hard working - except when I'm trying to study, then I get distracted too easily and lose focus.

 

[newyorknewyork]

Does anybody else hate themselves so much that they don't believe they have anything good inside? No matter what anybody tells them they can't believe it?

I'm not looking for advice, just want to know if anybody's in the same boat.
Some people have tried to help and I appreciate their efforts but nothing works.

I feel exactly the same! You are not alone, no. It's a horrible feeling.

Have you been abused? What made these "tapes" play in your mind? For me, it was my mother putting me down constantly for years.

 

[newyorknewyork]

Have you received this:-
"they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance." ?

Are you suggesting that if someone doesn't speak in tongues they aren't a christian?

I hope not.

 

[newyorknewyork]

this really encourages me - I found it recently on Neil Anderson's website.

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

I feel exactly the same! You are not alone, no. It's a horrible feeling.

Have you been abused? What made these "tapes" play in your mind? For me, it was my mother putting me down constantly for years.

I wasn't abused but don't want to go into the specifics of why I feel the way I do either.

Feeling bad today - worthless.
Can't think of anything positive.

 

[devotee]

Does anybody else hate themselves so much that they don't believe they have anything good inside? No matter what anybody tells them they can't believe it?

I'm not looking for advice, just want to know if anybody's in the same boat.
Some people have tried to help and I appreciate their efforts but nothing works.

You sound like my partner, like you feel you have no worth, and no other chocie than to be a "bad" person. He is waiting for the person who wounded him to make up for it. I don't think that person will, they hav their own scars. However, I have had some stresses lately, and he has been there for me 110% - even with money which he tends to cling to with a vengence. He is starting to realise that he can be "good" as well. He is now working in an office environment and is starting to see that he can respond to people other than with anger or skeptism or criticism, b/c that is how some of his co-workers can be, and they work in the Disaster Recovery Centre. He wants to help people, he can see how he differes from the narky workers, he is starting to like himself. He is starting to realise he can do this without waiting for that other to make up for things. And he doesn't feel he is missing our on something he deserves.

 

[devotee]

Well, I'm the type of girl who gives in a lot, I'm a weakling. If someone hurts me physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually, I usually don't do anything back to hurt them. I used to before I was a Christian. But since I've been a Christian, I guess because my self-esteem is really low and I don't ever want to hurt anyone, I don't do anything back, I let people trample me and treat me like crap. I can't stand up for myself. Although now, if someone was making fun of Christ and what He did for us and still is doing for us, I would stand up for what I believe in. I also don't keep grudges. Although staying in the past probably feeds on keeping grudges. But I guess the good thing about me would be that I'm maybe merciful.

Strenght is the power of making a choice. You choose not to retaliate. It is not a weakness to be an example to others on alternative forms of behaviour. You may be interested in "Non-Esculating Verbal Self Defence" it is all about turning the other cheek, being a good samaritan and not "feeling" like a doormat or weakling. You can find many forms of it by surfing the web.