Self-Image

Sapphyre

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The message at church today was all about self-image. It's something I struggle with and see people struggling with a lot here, so I thought I'd post some of my favorite parts.

The pastor posed a question - what makes something valuable? Usually it's a combination of three things - who made it, what it's made of, and how much someone would pay for it. For us, God made each of us, in His image, and sent Jesus to pay the ultimate price to save us. That's pretty darn valuable - arguably more valuable than anything else on the earth.

He also compared self-worth to paper money, and held up a $20 bill. He made the point that by crumpling it up, throwing it on the floor, and kicking it to the corner that it hadn't lost any value at all, and that most of us would still be more than happy to have it. He also made the point that the value of that bill only exists because we've assigned it, and that God has assigned us more value than any other creature on the planet.

The most poignant part of the message I thought was the mirrors. Little tiny ones, very simple, one handed to each person as they walked in the doors that morning. Towards the end of the message the pastor told everyone to pull it out and look into it. I was sitting at the very back and could see some people, like me, not even wanting to do that much. He asked when you see your reflection, what exactly do you see? Your physical appearance? Your profession? Your relationship status? Wealth? Possessions? The opinions of others?

Basically... do you see anything other than the masterpiece God created in His image for a specific purpose that absolutely no one else in the world can accomplish? Because if you do, someone somewhere has convinced you of a lie, even if that person was yourself.

Anyway...I really don't want this to become a self-pitying thread or filled with empty compliments. If anything, I'd love for it to just be a discussion about a common struggle. I actually came back permanently to CF because of a thread like this a while back, and I remember it being filled with such amazing encouragement and like-minded people. I hope we can do that again. :)
 
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Marycita

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If I'm completely honest, I find this topic so hard to speak on...considering how most churches I've seen handle it. :sorry:

To a certain extent, I'm sure if I were at your church I would have loved the message..and no doubt there's truth in it...

but my fear is that churches only ever stop there. So, everyone leaves with this great sense of self and think "Oh okay, I am wonderful because God created me and I have a purpose and yay!" sort of stuff...

all of which are true..

but if that was the whole truth, how come a little bit of time passes and people go back to how they felt at the beginning of such a message. They still feel all depressed, measure their worth and value wrongly, and have "low self-esteem"

The truth is we are made in His image, we are valuable to Him...but we are sinful to the core and the only true worth and good come from Him. That's what people need to see as well....the truth that will allow us to see ourselves for who we truly are and enable us to live this life as we were meant to, is not another sermon on self-image...but a sermon on our sinfulness, the evilness of sin, and His saving redemption. His ability to make us new. His love. The transformation He takes believers through. Him...

I know I'm not wording this all precisely how I want to...but hopefully I'll be able to find the precise words later if need be...
 
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Sapphyre

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If I'm completely honest, I find this topic so hard to speak on...considering how most churches I've seen handle it. :sorry:

To a certain extent, I'm sure if I were at your church I would have loved the message..and no doubt there's truth in it...

but my fear is that churches only ever stop there. So, everyone leaves with this great sense of self and think "Oh okay, I am wonderful because God created me and I have a purpose and yay!" sort of stuff...

all of which are true..

but if that was the whole truth, how come a little bit of time passes and people go back to how they felt at the beginning of such a message. They still feel all depressed, measure their worth and value wrongly, and have "low self-esteem"

The truth is we are made in His image, we are valuable to Him...but we are sinful to the core and the only true worth and good come from Him. That's what people need to see as well....the truth that will allow us to see ourselves for who we truly are and enable us to live this life as we were meant to, is not another sermon on self-image...but a sermon on our sinfulness, the evilness of sin, and His saving redemption. His ability to make us new. His love. The transformation He takes believers through. Him...

I know I'm not wording this all precisely how I want to...but hopefully I'll be able to find the precise words later if need be...

:thumbsup: Good points!

It's probably true - most people will start falling back into old habits of self-loathing soon after hearing these truths. But... we can strive to keep reminding ourselves of them until we truly believe them in our core.

The sermon also touched on the points you brought up about transformation. I think, though... in order to be receptive to that one needs to first at least be confident enough in themselves to believe such a wonderful thing possible. But I agree... both are important to the big picture.
 
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Somber

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Thank you so much for sharing Sapphyre! It is very very true! It is almost just like the sermon I heard a few months ago. In our culture there is the constant feeling that you have to be pretty or successful in someway to be accepted (and it's according to their standards too). But God has made everyone special, beautiful and unique in their own way :) !
 
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Marycita

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:thumbsup: Good points!

It's probably true - most people will start falling back into old habits of self-loathing soon after hearing these truths. But... we can strive to keep reminding ourselves of them until we truly believe them in our core.

The sermon also touched on the points you brought up about transformation. I think, though... in order to be receptive to that one needs to first at least be confident enough in themselves to believe such a wonderful thing possible. But I agree... both are important to the big picture.
That's part of why it's so tricky though....

because of society today, everyone wants to hear positive first (many many times, only)..they want to know they are worth it...hmm how do I put this - the tendency is to have it be about them first...how is this relevant to me, how does this involve me, how does this make me better, etc. kind of mentality..there's a tendency to want our ears tickled by someone who says we actually are great somewhere inside..

But truth is, it's not about us first...and there's really nothing in us (in and of ourselves) to be confident about....so if we wait to give the whole truth til we all find that something to be confident in first, it won't happen...the whole truth needs to be told at once.
 
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Sapphyre

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That's part of why it's so tricky though....

because of society today, everyone wants to hear positive first (many many times, only)..they want to know they are worth it...hmm how do I put this - the tendency is to have it be about them first...how is this relevant to me, how does this involve me, how does this make me better, etc. kind of mentality..there's a tendency to want our ears tickled by someone who says we actually are great somewhere inside..

But truth is, it's not about us first...and there's really nothing in us (in and of ourselves) to be confident about....so if we wait to give the whole truth til we all find that something to be confident in first, it won't happen...the whole truth needs to be told at once.

If a little positive thinking and building up can pave the way to realizing the bigger truths, I'm all for it. I wasn't trying to emphasizes a me-first attitude, but perhaps I phrased it wrong.

Sin and the corrupted world we live in cause some people to think too much of themselves, which is unhealthy and not Christlike, and it causes others to think too little of themselves, which I would argue is still unhealthy and not God's will at all. A person who believes they are of no value is never going to be receptive to hear God's purpose for them, and then that life is wasted. Being humble and being self-destructive are two very different things, and I believe have very different sources. I think there is a need sometimes to get rid of the existing corruption in one's mind before being able to plant the seeds that lead to salvation.
 
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Sapphyre

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I've read through this a few times, and I'm not sure where this is going.

I tend to value myself quite a bit. I'm glad to hear God values me too.

Me neither. :sorry:

Glad to hear you have a healthy sense of self-worth. Many do not, myself included, and it's a shame.
 
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Elliewaves

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If a little positive thinking and building up can pave the way to realizing the bigger truths, I'm all for it. I wasn't trying to emphasizes a me-first attitude, but perhaps I phrased it wrong.

Sin and the corrupted world we live in cause some people to think too much of themselves, which is unhealthy and not Christlike, and it causes others to think too little of themselves, which I would argue is still unhealthy and not God's will at all. A person who believes they are of no value is never going to be receptive to hear God's purpose for them, and then that life is wasted. Being humble and being self-destructive are two very different things, and I believe have very different sources. I think there is a need sometimes to get rid of the existing corruption in one's mind before being able to plant the seeds that lead to salvation.

This is a good post and there was nothing in your original post that hinted at the "me-first" mindset. With anything there needs to be a proper balance. Someone too puffed up , in addition to being annoying and a pain to be around, doesn't reflect Christ-likeness. The same with someone that loathes themselves- it's a different kind of selfishness- one that seeks validation b/c they are always thinking of themselves negatively- "I'm too fat, I'm too skinny, I don't like my thighs, I don't like this, I don't like that- REASSURE ME!". It can become all consuming and I would argue this type of selfishness doesn't reflect Christ-likeness either. How can you reflect Christ when every thought is consumed of yourself and how you don't measure up or how terrible you are. This is also exhausting to be around.
Being confident in who God made you isn't always the "me-first" syndrome. It simply means you are secure and you aren't constantly looking to others to validate you. It frees you up to reflect Christ- not your own puffed up image or the "poor me" pitiful victim.
 
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Somber

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If a little positive thinking and building up can pave the way to realizing the bigger truths, I'm all for it. I wasn't trying to emphasizes a me-first attitude, but perhaps I phrased it wrong.

Sin and the corrupted world we live in cause some people to think too much of themselves, which is unhealthy and not Christlike, and it causes others to think too little of themselves, which I would argue is still unhealthy and not God's will at all. A person who believes they are of no value is never going to be receptive to hear God's purpose for them, and then that life is wasted. Being humble and being self-destructive are two very different things, and I believe have very different sources. I think there is a need sometimes to get rid of the existing corruption in one's mind before being able to plant the seeds that lead to salvation.

Very true :thumbsup: although I do not think you worded it wrong in the original post, I understood what you meant. :)
 
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Sapphyre

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The same with someone that loathes themselves- it's a different kind of selfishness- one that seeks validation b/c they are always thinking of themselves negatively- "I'm too fat, I'm too skinny, I don't like my thighs, I don't like this, I don't like that- REASSURE ME!". It can become all consuming and I would argue this type of selfishness doesn't reflect Christ-likeness either. How can you reflect Christ when every thought is consumed of yourself and how you don't measure up or how terrible you are. This is also exhausting to be around.

Good point! It is definitely just as selfish to be self-loathing. I've seen it to the extreme where it really is exhausting to be around, like you said.

I've also experienced it myself. A good example is public worship - there have definitely been times where I felt something negative about myself to the point where I was constantly self-conscious about it. You can't focus on anything other than yourself in that mindset... even God. It's debilitating, and it's why I champion any cause that tries to reverse that kind of thinking.

Another example... abuse. Someone who has been abused may be so engulfed in the idea that they are worthless and deserve the kind of horrible treatment they get that they could not actually believe someone, even God, loved them if you shouted it in their face, until they can break free from that trapped way of thinking.
 
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Marycita

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If a little positive thinking and building up can pave the way to realizing the bigger truths, I'm all for it. I wasn't trying to emphasizes a me-first attitude, but perhaps I phrased it wrong.

No, no. You didn't....But as much as that kind of thinking is out there and is what's being presented most...it makes me extremely cautious of how everything is worded in these kind of discussions..

I'm not explaining myself well...it's not that you were coming at it like that...but even so, others might read into it that way because it's what they want to hear

(which brings me back to my point of it being necessary to always have the whole truth in these kinds of messages)
 
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