Self-diagnosis, now what?

[LovedSparrow]

Hi all,
I'm new to the forum, I'm glad to find a Christian hopeful one. I am a self-diagnosed Aspie (not completely sure but my life matches LOTS of symptoms. I am 27. My counselor told me he thinks I had autism on the spectrum. Had tics as a child, my parents took me to counseling when I was 6 because they noticed something 'not right.' Struggled like crazy in high school, with relationships, lost all my friends. Dressed gothic for many years, bright colored hair, black, chains, dog collars. (not anymore). Had depression since 4th grade, high anxiety, stress, and not many memories, I think I have blocked from abuse, maybe PTSD, not sure. Don't have memories of h.s., parents, general. Have to base my personality I've known the last couple years, frustrating.

I feel very behind in maturity, I have high emotional maturity but very developmentally behind. I am a cashier part time, and have tried college- had about 5 years off and on but don't have a degree. Too afraid to pick a major, afraid of interviews, don't think I can do it. I am very limited in jobs I can take and feel stress bc of this. I am a year married.

My question is, once I have been 'self-diagnosed,' what do I do? Do you go to a counselor, or pray? I feel a lot of my life patterns are so engrained, I'm stuck in them. (overwhelmed easily, learned helplessness, low self esteem, shutting down, numbing out, no life direction). I am not sure my folks will understand, and I had most symptoms in early childhood/high school, so my husband trusts I do have it but doesn't see it all. I go from 'I have it' to 'I don't have it.' I do lots of research on it (obsessive). Then I feel shame that I may not- what if I wasted my time? For now I think I do. I took the online quiz and it told me "Most likely an Aspie."

If I can ask, what did you do when you found out? No one else in my family (but not sure, maybe) has it or hasn't recognized it. We are a closed-knit family so we don't discuss these things.
Any help would be appreciated, I feel somewhat alone in my quest.
Thanks for reading, I kind of wrote a novel. :o
God bless.

 

[LovedSparrow]

 

[Autocannibal]

If you're still here, we on the Asperger's and Autism forum seem to be mostly about solving specific problems rather than answering open-ended questions.

And there aren't very many of us here, as this forum probably averages about 2-3 posts per day.

I was officially dx'd at age 7, and when my parents told me that I had Asperger's, I felt relieved.

Your experience is quite different from mine, though. I was much more off-on-my-own, aloof type.

I can believe that you have Asperger's, but you don't have it in the classical sense - most women with Asperger's don't fit the classic stereotype or problems, which may explain why we're a little hesitant to respond. It's a forum...don't take response or lack thereof personally.

 

[ElijahW]

Do you have an obsession or obsess over your interests? That is the most common trait and is what is responsible for the lack of social development. If you don’t have that and have abuse in your history I would look at the PTSD as what is causing your social skills lagging and social anxiety.



Aspergers is fairly easy to live with because you just need to find a way to incorporate your interest into your life and lively hood. Social abilities are like anything else you just need to practice in order to improve.



If you have PTSD then that’s a different animal because you’re going to need to rewire your brain into not seeing people as threats to your safety; either by control of your thoughts or just interacting with people enough that you eventually learn that you’re not in danger anymore. Or at least the danger is unlikely and not something to mentally worry about.

 

[TalusJumper]

LovedSparrow,

Hope you follow up with this forum, it is rather slow (not many here) but we would really like to start a dialog with you! I (and I am sure that there are others here) can relate to what you are saying so I hope we can be of some help!

 

[LovedSparrow]

Hi all,
I wanted to apologize for my last post. Would you forgive me? I guess this whole Aspie concept is a few months old for me and I'm still in that do I/don't I have it phase. I had been feeling shame because all last week I did nothing but research Aspbergers and look on the forums here and felt bad I didn't get anything else done. (A symptom! ) I didn't realize that this forum is not that busy and I got hurt. I'm sorry about that guys. I felt ashamed that this self-diagnosis had been consuming so much time, and what if I found out I didn't have it? Oh well. I'm sorry, guys.

As an update, I'm almost 90% certain I do have it; I talked with a counselor and she agreed that I have many characteristics (but isn't able to officially dx, not trained in that area). The fact that I researched and wrote up a 6-page 'diagnosis' sheet for her is a pretty good indicator. I am not concentrating on the 'problem' now as I am trying to find a solution- how can I move on with life with this blessing?

Thanks everyone. (((Hugs)))

 

[summersja]

Hi

We all know what you have been through and the confusing thoughts- do I have it/ don't I have it? I don't have time for an in depth write-up now, but just remember, you are the same person with the label as without it!

I will try to interject more as time allows... God bless!

 

[TalusJumper]

Hi all,
I wanted to apologize for my last post. Would you forgive me? I guess this whole Aspie concept is a few months old for me and I'm still in that do I/don't I have it phase.

Sounds familiar- I have been going through this for many years!

I didn't realize that this forum is not that busy and I got hurt. I'm sorry about that guys. I felt ashamed that this self-diagnosis had been consuming so much time, and what if I found out I didn't have it? Oh well. I'm sorry, guys.

No problem- this is a great forum with great people- I really prefer it over Wrongplanet but it does require a bit more patience for an answer. I hope it gets more popular.

As an update, I'm almost 90% certain I do have it; I talked with a counselor and she agreed that I have many characteristics (but isn't able to officially dx, not trained in that area). The fact that I researched and wrote up a 6-page 'diagnosis' sheet for her is a pretty good indicator. I am not concentrating on the 'problem' now as I am trying to find a solution- how can I move on with life with this blessing?

Thanks everyone. (((Hugs)))

I think the fact that you are here shows you are looking for answers and that is the first part of the solution. I think this is a journey for each of us to deal with in different ways. I think a general plan is to focus on your strengths, pray a lot and watch what goes into your brain. At least that is what works for me!