Seeking prayers during severe depression

[VincentChough]

Praying for you. May your hurt and sorrow be transformed by love - God's love that knows no boundaries and gives everything to you.
Sometimes in these extreme moments of darkness, God speaks directly to our hearts. Try to hear his voice. It is the voice of clarity and truth. It's the voice calling out to you, "I forgive it all. I forgive you of everything. I love you infinitely."
This love is for you! Reach out!

 

[slp40]

Hi everyone,

I guess for ease of terms I would call myself an "agnostic" and generally don't have faith in any sort of afterlife existence and lately this has been a driving force for my existential depression. I get severe panic attacks from seeing even photographs, thinking about how quickly time is going by, the fear of eventually having to say goodbye to my loved ones, and my ultimate fear of my own death and oblivion and wiping away everythign and everyone I love here on earth. It hurts my heart that I cannot freeze time. I am only 25 but I am so utterly terrified that the best and happiest years of my life are behind me, because from here on out it's treating aches and pains from aging even if I'm in good shape, and watching my favorite aunts and uncles and parents grow old and grey and lose the youthful spark I saw in their eyes growing up. I feel as though I'm already an elderly woman on her deathbed because I constantly text and call family to let them know I love them so much because I'm terrified that those might be my last words. I have the sensation of needing to get my affairs in order to be prepared to "check out" even though I have no health problems outside of my mental health.

These feelings reached a fever pitch last month when a friend of mine lost his life in a car accident. I started having panic because he was only 24, and had hopes and dreams and goals and I wanted to know that he was okay and safe, but my mind kept telling me death was just an "off switch" and I felt a chill to my core. I've been suffering panic attacks daily since, my boyfriend is very loving and supportive but I fear causing him dread and driving him away with all my mental instability. I get nauseated, have a hard time keeping any food down, have to force myself to wake up, to move, to get dressed, to eat, everything feels so, so heavy.

I came here because I have Christian family and friends whose faith has kept them strong and full of life even when facing the death of their parents and loved ones, something I can't imagine overcoming in the state I'm in. I am more open to the idea of there being "something" after death, I desperately want to know that my loved ones who already passed are okay. I guess I want a "sign" from God for lack of a better phrase. I would love a taste of that peace and fulfillment that my faithful friends and family carry with them. I would love to take pleasure in watching time pass and growing old with grace. I would love to have faith and recover from this pain. If even just one person prays for me, even if it doesn't help me find God or an answer, it means that someone out there cares enough after reading about my troubles and that would mean the world to me.

One positive side effect of this dread, I feel such a deep emotional connection and pain to everyone around me. If I read about a death now I feel that heartbreak. If I read about someone's child growing up and graduating from high school, I feel that pang of love and sadness as if I were a mother myself. I feel a connection to everyone in the world through this pain, if that makes any sense at all.

Thank you to anyone who takes time to read this, I truly love you all.

 

[slp40]

((((((((((hugs))))))))))

I just want to talk to you for a moment, because I can empathize with where you are coming from. I am assuming you are at a place where you need to trust that the Bible is true, and having people simply say it's true cuz i believe it's true isn't enough, and that is understandable. I do not think it is wrong to want some kind of scientific evidence to believe the way you do.

I would encourage you to check out this link http://christiananswers.net/q-aiia/jesus-odds.html. It talks about the odds of Christ fulfilling all the old testament predictions about him. The old testament was written over a long span of time, so it is impossible for anyone to just sit down and begin writing fables and making things up about Jesus.

Here is another site. This will help you answer those questions. http://defendingyourfaith.org/

Anyways, i want to address the depression.

Please don't be afraid of death my friend. I used to do hospice care and i have seen angelic looks on people's faces when they were close to the end. I went to visit my grandma hours before her passing. She was sound asleep and there was this wonderful presence of peace in the room.

You are a precious person in the eyes of God. I am sorry that there are many out there that misrepesent God. The Lord wants you to have peace that He exists and He will show himself real to you if you ask Him.

You do not have to pray some special prayer formula. It can be simple like "God, show me you're real" and he will.

Be blessed and have a wonderful night.

 

[KimT]

God bless you. I've gone through depression and fear. God loves you more than you know. Many on this forum will be praying for you. We care about you.

 

[alittlebirdee]

thanks to everyone who responded to what's now an old post. I am still fighting this fight and struggle to do a few things. I feel like an old laptop, where the battery only seems to charge to 50% and loses a charge really quickly. I get exhausted mentally after just a few tasks and need to rest and think a lot. but am thankful that so many strangers cared enough to say something nice and i do feel the dread I used to feel lifting off me a lot more now than when i first posted this.

slp40 I love stories of those who were near a loved one as they passed, by and large the stories are peaceful and wonderful and the thought of having a peaceful passing after (hopefully) a long accomplished life gives me a purpose in the morning. I have been saying the little "as I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep" prayer at night that I did when I was a very young child and it helps me relax as I fall asleep. I don't know if I believe or feel it the same way most of the people here do but it does give me a sense of peace that I can't deny.

There are a couple of new babies in my family tree (children of two different cousins) as of this month and I can't wait to see how they grow and learn. Gives me lots of reason to get up in the morning. So many good things are happening for myself and my loved ones and it certainly feels that someone is looking out for us all. thank you.

 

[MissRowy]

Praise God for your family and I pray this will help you through your depression and you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. God bless you

 

[rockytopva]

Father I pray blessings on this request and that your light would dispel all darkness in Jesus name I pray.

Father I also pray in the name of Jesus for the proper spiritual light and energies to burn brightly in the hearts of all who reads this post and that they may carry these energies to the church of their choice and out in the world to be a blessing to humanity!

 

[Jesus' Follower]

Joining in group prayer.

 

[Steven Wood]

Hi everyone,

I guess for ease of terms I would call myself an "agnostic" and generally don't have faith in any sort of afterlife existence and lately this has been a driving force for my existential depression. I get severe panic attacks from seeing even photographs, thinking about how quickly time is going by, the fear of eventually having to say goodbye to my loved ones, and my ultimate fear of my own death and oblivion and wiping away everythign and everyone I love here on earth. It hurts my heart that I cannot freeze time. I am only 25 but I am so utterly terrified that the best and happiest years of my life are behind me, because from here on out it's treating aches and pains from aging even if I'm in good shape, and watching my favorite aunts and uncles and parents grow old and grey and lose the youthful spark I saw in their eyes growing up. I feel as though I'm already an elderly woman on her deathbed because I constantly text and call family to let them know I love them so much because I'm terrified that those might be my last words. I have the sensation of needing to get my affairs in order to be prepared to "check out" even though I have no health problems outside of my mental health.

These feelings reached a fever pitch last month when a friend of mine lost his life in a car accident. I started having panic because he was only 24, and had hopes and dreams and goals and I wanted to know that he was okay and safe, but my mind kept telling me death was just an "off switch" and I felt a chill to my core. I've been suffering panic attacks daily since, my boyfriend is very loving and supportive but I fear causing him dread and driving him away with all my mental instability. I get nauseated, have a hard time keeping any food down, have to force myself to wake up, to move, to get dressed, to eat, everything feels so, so heavy.

I came here because I have Christian family and friends whose faith has kept them strong and full of life even when facing the death of their parents and loved ones, something I can't imagine overcoming in the state I'm in. I am more open to the idea of there being "something" after death, I desperately want to know that my loved ones who already passed are okay. I guess I want a "sign" from God for lack of a better phrase. I would love a taste of that peace and fulfillment that my faithful friends and family carry with them. I would love to take pleasure in watching time pass and growing old with grace. I would love to have faith and recover from this pain. If even just one person prays for me, even if it doesn't help me find God or an answer, it means that someone out there cares enough after reading about my troubles and that would mean the world to me.

One positive side effect of this dread, I feel such a deep emotional connection and pain to everyone around me. If I read about a death now I feel that heartbreak. If I read about someone's child growing up and graduating from high school, I feel that pang of love and sadness as if I were a mother myself. I feel a connection to everyone in the world through this pain, if that makes any sense at all.

Thank you to anyone who takes time to read this, I truly love you all.

You are prayed for. Take heart dear friend. You have a choice now you always have a choice. I really hate to hear you live with such fear and panic. No one should have to live that way. I don't force my beliefs but please take a suggestion and read the Bible. even if you don't want to believe in Jesus you'll find that the word will give you a peace, a sense of reassurance, and a good rule of thumb to live life by. You'll come to find that your fears will not have such a hold of you as the future plays out. I'm praying life gets better for you.

 

[sunsurfkdt]

Hi everyone,

I guess for ease of terms I would call myself an "agnostic" and generally don't have faith in any sort of afterlife existence and lately this has been a driving force for my existential depression. I get severe panic attacks from seeing even photographs, thinking about how quickly time is going by, the fear of eventually having to say goodbye to my loved ones, and my ultimate fear of my own death and oblivion and wiping away everythign and everyone I love here on earth. It hurts my heart that I cannot freeze time. I am only 25 but I am so utterly terrified that the best and happiest years of my life are behind me, because from here on out it's treating aches and pains from aging even if I'm in good shape, and watching my favorite aunts and uncles and parents grow old and grey and lose the youthful spark I saw in their eyes growing up. I feel as though I'm already an elderly woman on her deathbed because I constantly text and call family to let them know I love them so much because I'm terrified that those might be my last words. I have the sensation of needing to get my affairs in order to be prepared to "check out" even though I have no health problems outside of my mental health.

These feelings reached a fever pitch last month when a friend of mine lost his life in a car accident. I started having panic because he was only 24, and had hopes and dreams and goals and I wanted to know that he was okay and safe, but my mind kept telling me death was just an "off switch" and I felt a chill to my core. I've been suffering panic attacks daily since, my boyfriend is very loving and supportive but I fear causing him dread and driving him away with all my mental instability. I get nauseated, have a hard time keeping any food down, have to force myself to wake up, to move, to get dressed, to eat, everything feels so, so heavy.

I came here because I have Christian family and friends whose faith has kept them strong and full of life even when facing the death of their parents and loved ones, something I can't imagine overcoming in the state I'm in. I am more open to the idea of there being "something" after death, I desperately want to know that my loved ones who already passed are okay. I guess I want a "sign" from God for lack of a better phrase. I would love a taste of that peace and fulfillment that my faithful friends and family carry with them. I would love to take pleasure in watching time pass and growing old with grace. I would love to have faith and recover from this pain. If even just one person prays for me, even if it doesn't help me find God or an answer, it means that someone out there cares enough after reading about my troubles and that would mean the world to me.

One positive side effect of this dread, I feel such a deep emotional connection and pain to everyone around me. If I read about a death now I feel that heartbreak. If I read about someone's child growing up and graduating from high school, I feel that pang of love and sadness as if I were a mother myself. I feel a connection to everyone in the world through this pain, if that makes any sense at all.

Thank you to anyone who takes time to read this, I truly love you all.

Awww guess what??? You already have a heart like Jesus. That tender sweet heart of yours is so like Jesus. You are very loving, and caring by your descriptions of how you can't bear to lose your loved ones and don't want to wipe everything away when you pass which means you are sentimental. To begin with though, it sounds like you do want a relationship with God, based on what you say. Think over how you feel, really. By the things you've said, you want prayer and you're looking to Jesus for relief. He gives strength to the weary. Come to me all ye who labored and are weary and I will give you rest.
And again, in this world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer for I have overcome the world.
Let me say, that becoming a Christian will not make everything a piece of pie lol. It will not. But , you are suffering so much it sounds, that I know God will run right to you. If you let Him. You WILL have problems, but, they will not overcome you. And they will be much easier to bear. You must pray often and read your bible.its very refreshing and its a breath of fresh air from the world. Just remember every problem, hardens you to the next one. And!!! You will see...down the line that every hardship was for your good. But you can't worry! You can't be afraid! It's a sin . Just fill your mind with wholesome things...I think if you remove bad things from your life, such as cussing, bad music, books that are bad, bad movies...especially violent or scary ones...you'll be much happier. It's good for everyone to do . also, don't drink excessively! Or abuse any form of drugs...not saying you would but..

I love you! And I will pray for you, even tho u didn't mention ur name, God knows who I'm talking about.
I hope you are doing better now, and have a good day.

 

[kat1990]

I have depression as well. Prayers to you

 

[fshs75]

A lot of good advice on here. I would also like to suggest you look into christian counseling. I'm looking into it for my wife and I and our kids. I was able to google some psychologists that incorporate the bible and psychology together in the session. Love and prayers sent your way.

 

[ldonjohn]

((((((((((hugs))))))))))


You do not have to pray some special prayer formula. It can be simple like "God, show me you're real" and he will.

Be blessed and have a wonderful night.

alittlebirdee,

I was browsing this forum and just saw this post. The bold sentence above really got my attention because that was me about 45 years ago when I was about your age. I spent many years living in dreadful fear & misery because I had no assurance of salvation and had actually got to the point in my life where I wasn't even sure if God existed. I had panic attacks because of the fear of dying without knowing the truth about God. I am sure I suffered from depression also. If you would like to read how God brought me out of that miserable time in my life, when I said a prayer similar to the one in bold print above, there is a link below to my testimony. You might find my experience to be quite similar to yours; I did find peace & assurance that has grown even stronger with age.

http://www.christianforums.com/threads/what-it-means-to-beleive-in-jesus.7927993/

Don

 

[Love Gardenia's]

Hello Little Birdee,
It sounds like you have a revelation of our mortality, some day we will all go. This tragedy with your friend's accident and seeing your loved ones getting older can be an eye opener. First of all sweetie please look to Jesus, he has it all under control. Place your faith in Jesus. He said if you believe in your heart and confess out loud that Jesus died for your sins and rose from the grave that you would be saved. It is a simple prayer. A great peace will come upon you because you have placed your trust in him. I too had my sister pass away in November. My comfort is that Jesus said when we live this earth that he has prepared a place for us to live with him. Lord Jesus, I ask that you comfort this precious one, fill their heart with peace and love. Jesus you said that perfect love cast out all fear and I am asking for your love. In your name I pray. Amen
Birdee, think on the good things in life, enjoy the times with your family and do not fear. By faith say that I will not fear but enjoy life and family. The joy of the Lord is your strength! Here is a great Bible verse of scripture for you found in the New Testament.
Philippians 4:8-9The Message (MSG)
8-9 Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.

 

[karenrose3388]

Hi everyone,

I guess for ease of terms I would call myself an "agnostic" and generally don't have faith in any sort of afterlife existence and lately this has been a driving force for my existential depression. I get severe panic attacks from seeing even photographs, thinking about how quickly time is going by, the fear of eventually having to say goodbye to my loved ones, and my ultimate fear of my own death and oblivion and wiping away everythign and everyone I love here on earth. It hurts my heart that I cannot freeze time. I am only 25 but I am so utterly terrified that the best and happiest years of my life are behind me, because from here on out it's treating aches and pains from aging even if I'm in good shape, and watching my favorite aunts and uncles and parents grow old and grey and lose the youthful spark I saw in their eyes growing up. I feel as though I'm already an elderly woman on her deathbed because I constantly text and call family to let them know I love them so much because I'm terrified that those might be my last words. I have the sensation of needing to get my affairs in order to be prepared to "check out" even though I have no health problems outside of my mental health.

These feelings reached a fever pitch last month when a friend of mine lost his life in a car accident. I started having panic because he was only 24, and had hopes and dreams and goals and I wanted to know that he was okay and safe, but my mind kept telling me death was just an "off switch" and I felt a chill to my core. I've been suffering panic attacks daily since, my boyfriend is very loving and supportive but I fear causing him dread and driving him away with all my mental instability. I get nauseated, have a hard time keeping any food down, have to force myself to wake up, to move, to get dressed, to eat, everything feels so, so heavy.

I came here because I have Christian family and friends whose faith has kept them strong and full of life even when facing the death of their parents and loved ones, something I can't imagine overcoming in the state I'm in. I am more open to the idea of there being "something" after death, I desperately want to know that my loved ones who already passed are okay. I guess I want a "sign" from God for lack of a better phrase. I would love a taste of that peace and fulfillment that my faithful friends and family carry with them. I would love to take pleasure in watching time pass and growing old with grace. I would love to have faith and recover from this pain. If even just one person prays for me, even if it doesn't help me find God or an answer, it means that someone out there cares enough after reading about my troubles and that would mean the world to me.

One positive side effect of this dread, I feel such a deep emotional connection and pain to everyone around me. If I read about a death now I feel that heartbreak. If I read about someone's child growing up and graduating from high school, I feel that pang of love and sadness as if I were a mother myself. I feel a connection to everyone in the world through this pain, if that makes any sense at all.

Thank you to anyone who takes time to read this, I truly love you all.

I'm new to this forum. Have you been doing better since posting this? I remember living life without knowing its purpose or what comes after, and feeling as desperate... Knowing your purpose and that there is a plan can change all of that perspective and despair, the nervousness and anxiety, and give you rest. How can we help you come to know that and discover it? There is a God, a purpose for your being here, and while this life has hardships to teach us and refine us, it's for a glorious purpose. You have much to live for and hope for. Praying for you.

 

[Michael L]

Praying. You're loved.

 

[Lupo]

I've been there loved one, and I'm on the same journey. Believe, you are set on the right path just by seeking God out. He will be your refuge and your fortress, your healer and your most trusted, beloved friend. Praying for you, and know that feelings tend to be liars- know and trust that God will respond like a hurricane of love. Every plea for help is heard. Try saying 'Help me, God,' and waiting for him. Whether it's the right word at the right time or a person being there when you need them, He knows exactly what you need and will lavish your wounds until they are completely healed.