Seeking God but failing miserably time and time again

[TruthSeek3r]

It's not uncommon for those with a scientific mind to struggle in this way. I apologize if you've already said so, but what is your true motivation for seeking God?

The sequence of events has been more or less as follows:

Desire to know the truth -> Investigating about apologetics, creation vs evolution, the supernatural -> Investigating a lot about the supernatural -> Suspecting that God must be real -> Suspecting that Christianity is the religion the makes the most sense -> Desiring to have a personal encounter with the Christian God (to confirm on a personal level that all this is actually real).

 

[snugglemantis]

The sequence of events has been more or less the the following:

Desire to know the truth -> Investigating about apologetics, creation vs evolution, the supernatural -> Investigating a lot about the supernatural -> Suspecting that God must be real -> Suspecting that Christianity is the religion the makes the most sense -> Desiring to have a personal encounter with the Christian God (to confirm on a personal level that all this is actually real).

That's very similar to my own sequence of events. The first thing you should do if you haven't already is repent for your obsession with the supernatural/occult. Some, including myself, find themselves drawn to it but to study or learn about it is sin. It's rife with deception and a product of demons. It could even be demonic influence that has you so obsessed with it as they work very subtly to distance you from the Father in heaven.

In my opinion, you're primary motivation is the search for knowledge...and that will get you nowhere. You're focusing too much on rationalism and critical thinking...which, while celebrated as "good" things in modern culture, are counterintuitive when you're seeking God. He doesn't like being tested and isn't interested in proving anything to you.

You have to actually want a RELATIONSHIP with God. Don't think of Him as a mystery to be decoded. Think of Him as your parent. Also, have a little faith. The amount required is about the size of a mustard seed according to scripture. I hope I haven't discouraged you in any way. I'm just trying to help you see why you aren't getting anywhere with your current approach. I apologize in advance if I misinterpreted anything you said.

 

[SANTOSO]

I explain what I'm seeking in post #10 of this thread. But in short, yes, I'm seeking a personal encounter with God that radically changes everything.

Dear one,
I understand you are seeking a personal encounter but you are seeking for personal intellectual edification. You won’t get closer to
the presence of God if you seek God that manner.

Dear one, consider this:

• Oh that you would rend the heavens and come down, that the mountains might quake at your presence' -Isaiah 64:1
• as when fire kindles brushwood and the fire causes water to boil' to make your name known to your adversaries, and that the nations might tremble at your presence! -Isaiah 64:2
• When you did awesome things that we did not look for, you came down, the mountains quaked at your presence. -Isaiah 64:3
• From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides you, who acts for those who wait for him. -Isaiah 64:4
• You meet him who joyfully works righteousness, those who remember you in your ways. Behold, you were angry, and we sinned; in our sins we have been a long time, and shall we be saved? -Isaiah 64:5
• We have all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment. We all fade like a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, take us away. -Isaiah 64:6
• There is no one who calls upon your name, who rouses himself to take hold of you; for you have hidden your face from us, and have made us melt in the hand of our iniquities. -Isaiah 64:7
• But now, O LORD, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand. -Isaiah 64:8
• Be not so terribly angry, O LORD, and remember not iniquity forever. Behold, please look, we are all your people. -Isaiah 64:9

I hope from Isaiah 64:1-9, that you perceive.

 

[obscura]

I read your post.

I'm dealing with exactly the same thing.

I feel like I know about God, but have not experienced Him directly.

We can chat about it if you'd like.

I'm sorry that I don't really have any advice. But I just wanted to let you know that I can relate to your dilemma. It feels strange: being convinced of God's existence, yet feeling as though God is veiled to us, like He's not even real.

It was always my belief that God was experiential, or supposed to be. I know that we are to exercise faith, but at some point, there should be fruits of that faith.

What do we do when we constantly come up empty?

 

[TruthSeek3r]

I read your post.

I'm dealing with exactly the same thing.

I feel like I know about God, but have not experienced Him directly.

We can chat about it if you'd like.

I'm sorry that I don't really have any advice. But I just wanted to let you know that I can relate to your dilemma. It feels strange: being convinced of God's existence, yet feeling as though God is veiled to us, like He's not even real.

It was always my belief that God was experiential, or supposed to be. I know that we are to exercise faith, but at some point, there should be fruits of that faith.

What do we do when we constantly come up empty?

After all the advices I've read, I think the main takeaway is that we have to have hunger for God, a deep desire to know/meet Him personally, and this desire has to be followed by persistent seeking with prayer, fasting, abandoning sin, etc. In short, hunger + seeking with perseverance and commitment. My main stumbling block at the moment are distractions: I'm either getting distracted by external responsibilities or by inner issues that lead to me getting distracted with unnecessary/avoidable things. I have to work on my distractions and muster up the commitment to seek God with everything. It's so simple and clear what I need to do, but paradoxically it is at the same time so hard ...

By the way, you can read other advices people have given me on a mirror thread here: Seeking a supernatural encounter with God but failing miserably time and time again

 

[obscura]

After all the advices I've read, I think the main takeaway is that we have to have hunger for God, a deep desire to know/meet Him personally, and this desire has to be followed by persistent seeking with prayer, fasting, abandoning sin, etc. In short, hunger + seeking with perseverance and commitment. My main stumbling block at the moment are distractions: I'm either getting distracted by external responsibilities or by inner issues that lead to me getting distracted with unnecessary/avoidable things. I have to work on my distractions and muster up the commitment to seek God with everything. It's so simple and clear what I need to do, but paradoxically it is at the same time so hard ...

By the way, you can read other advices people have given me on a mirror thread here: Seeking a supernatural encounter with God but failing miserably time and time again

Same here. Distractions are a big thing for me.

I guess I just also feel a sense of jadedness. Zero zeal.

 

[SANTOSO]

Dear ones,
Didn’t you perceive what Jesus said to the Samaritan woman who came to draw water ?

“You worship what you do not know; we know what we worship, for salvation is of the Jews.”
‭‭John‬ ‭4:22‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Dear one,
Are we of Jews ? Yes, we are Jews by nature.

This is what we have heard:
“We who are Jews by nature, and not sinners of the Gentiles,”
‭‭Galatians‬ ‭2:15‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Lord continued to say :
“But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him. God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.””
‭‭John‬ ‭4:23-24‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Dear ones,
Are you now is, seeking God’s presence ?
Don’t you know, now is, the Father is seeking such those who are in spirit and truth ?
Don’t you understand what Jesus our Lord have said that God is Spirit? So dear ones, if you are seeking God, you must seek Him in your spirit.

Dear ones, have you not perceived how you might seek God in your spirit? This is what we have heard our Lord Himself said:

“It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing. The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life.”
‭‭John‬ ‭6:63‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

So dear ones, have you considered what Jesus speaks to you, that His words are Spirit. Dear one, if you have not, then you are unable to seek the Father God.

So dear ones,
consider what our Lord Jesus have said :
“Jesus therefore answered and said to them, “Do not murmur among yourselves. No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up at the last day. It is written in the prophets, ‘And they shall all be taught by God.’ Therefore everyone who has heard and learned from the Father comes to Me.”
‭‭John‬ ‭6:43-45‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

So dear ones,
Have you heard and learned from the Father, so that you can come to Christ.

Are you considering that you have not heard and learned from the Father ? This is what we have heard:

“My son, give attention to my words; Incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them depart from your eyes; Keep them in the midst of your heart; For they are life to those who find them, And health to all their flesh. Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life. Put away from you a deceitful mouth, And put perverse lips far from you. Let your eyes look straight ahead, And your eyelids look right before you. Ponder the path of your feet, And let all your ways be established. Do not turn to the right or the left; Remove your foot from evil.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭4:20-27‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

So dear ones,
Have you heard and learned what our Heavenly Father have said ? That we should keep His words in our hearts. So dear ones, since we heard that His words of His Son are Spirit, the words that are spoken by the Father are also Spirit. Since the Father told us to keep His words in our hearts, His Spirit is the one who bear witness to our spirits, that is, our hearts.

Dear ones, this is what we have heard:
“Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him. He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine but the Father’s who sent Me.”
‭‭John‬ ‭14:23-24‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

So dear ones,
Have you kept the words that Christ has spoken in your hearts? For the words that you heard from the Father who sent Christ.
Dear ones, if you have kept the words, you have loved Christ.

Dear ones, have you understand why the Father and the Son asked us to keep His words in our hearts?

This is what we have heard:
“For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.”
‭‭II Corinthians‬ ‭4:6‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Dear ones,
Where God commanded light to shine out of ? Darkness. Where is this darkness ? Didn’t we hear that the light has shone in our hearts ?
So this darkness was in our hearts. How does this light shine in our hearts? This is what we have heard:

For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life, -Proverbs 6:23 ESV

So dear ones, when our Lord Jesus Christ’s teaching, that is, His words in our hearts ! Doesn’t His teaching or gospel enlighten us ?
Doesn’t the Father’s disciplines are the way of life ?

So dear ones,
the words that the Father and Son have spoken that are in our hearts, that is, the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, He will testify of Christ.

The testimony of Christ, that enlightens our hearts with the knowledge of the glory of God before Christ.

This is also what we have heard from the Lord:

“Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.””
‭‭John‬ ‭8:31-32‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

So dear ones, do you consider yourself as Jews by nature that believe in Christ? If
you are, then you have perceived what our Lord have said to abide in His words. Dear ones, without abiding in Christ’s words, that are Spirit and Life, you won’t KNOW the truth.
the Lord would not consider those who didn’t abide in His words as as those love Him.
Aren’t those love Christ those keep His commandments? Yes, they are.

So dear ones, when we keep the words that Christ have spoken, that are Spirit and Life, in our hearts, we seek the Lord in spirit and truth; we seek the Lord wholeheartedly. We do nothing wrong but live by His ways.

When we seek Him, we shall find Him.
Yes, we shall find His presence.

 

[ozso]

@TruthSeek3r
In Matthew 18:3 Jesus said, "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven".

My relationship with God started when I was a little child and had a very simple understanding of things. That childlike relationship with God is the core of my faith. It's the foundation. Everything else I've learned has been built around that core, built upon that foundation.

Your situation seems to be that you have miles of structure, but no core, no foundation. Do you think you could push all that aside and approach God as if you were a mere child and just converse with him, like a little son would with his dad?

 

[Psalm 27]

Some background to my question:

• I'm a truth seeker. I come from a scientific mindset background, but the last couple years I've been intensely researching about the supernatural and the spirit realm. I've watched testimonies from all kinds of religions, including testimonies from people who practiced witchcraft, the occult, Satanism, Hindu mystics, New Agers, Kundalini awakening, Reiki healers, paranormal investigators, people who have used Ouija boards, and of course, testimonies from Christians, baptism in the Holy Spirit, Christophanies, healing miracles, gifts of the spirit, words of knowledge, speaking in tongues (including unknown foreign languages), demonic possessions, exorcisms, etc. All this has led to me conclude that the spirit realm has to exist.
• I believe that encounters with God are possible. As I just said, I've watched tons of testimonies, including first-hand accounts of powerful encounters with the Creator. To give you an idea, here are some notable examples: example 1, example 2, example 3, example 4, example 5, example 6, example 7, example 8, example 9, example 10, example 11, example 12, example 13, example 14, example 15, example 16, example 17, example 18, example 19, example 20, example 21.

I'm currently at a position in which I'm extremely obsessed with knowing the truth first-hand. As I already said, I've watched tons of testimonies, but after almost two years of doing the same, I'm starting to see no point in storing more and more anecdotal information in my head if I don't live out these things by myself. I know a lot about God (theory), but I don't know God (personal experience/testimony), if that makes sense. So my obvious next step is to seek God, to seek an encounter with Him. Unfortunately, every time I try, I keep failing miserably. I know that the key ingredients to seek God are consistent 1) prayer, 2) fasting, 3) reading the Bible, 4) obedience, 5) a life of holiness, 6) having faith, and of course 7) repentance and having accepted Jesus Christ as personal Lord and Savior. I know the theory. Intellectually speaking, things are quite clear to me. The problem is that I'm struggling to implement the theory successfully.

There are many distractions, temptations and weaknesses that are making it extremely hard for me to achieve a significant streak in which I successfully implement the 7 points I listed above. I keep messing up all the time and I'm not getting results. God still appears abstract and very distant to me, and when I read the Bible and the stories of the prophets, the apostles, the early Church, or when I remind myself of the testimonies that I've watched (like the ones I listed above), I feel like a total failure, trapped, unable to achieve any kind of spiritual breakthrough.

One thing that I would love to do is to have like serious period of seeking God with prayer and fasting for, say, 7 days in a row, without any distractions, just full-time seeking God, but the problem is that there are always distractions, responsibilities, things that take away my time, and I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. Then I go back to watching more testimonies to regain motivation, but at the end of day, that's just more intellectual information for my head, but what is the point of wasting my life away with hours and hours of investigation and watching endless testimonies if, at the end of the day, it doesn't translate into an actual, real encounter with God?

I seriously need a spiritual breakthrough and I've got no idea what to do about it.

Praying for you now. Try just reading the gospels, pref John first, and only move on when you get a revelation of Jesus. I decided, only this morning, that I’m going to do the same. I keep losing my way, but that’s how I originally started. Then I allowed myself to get distracted with dodgy teaching/teachers for years... Our time is so precious, we have to Keep seeking the truth, like your name says

 

[Psalm 27]

I had a dream, that I was on my way to hell. I didn't know, but others did.
I honestly don't know if I'm saved.
Please pray that The Lord saves my soul, and that I have faith in what He's already done for me.

 

[Lost Witness]

I had a dream, that I was on my way to hell. I didn't know, but others did.
I honestly don't know if I'm saved.
Please pray that The Lord saves my soul, and that I have faith in what He's already done for me.

Condemnation comes from the Enemy,
So too does Doubt and Confusion...
Keep focused on the LORD..
Getting back into the WORD and remembering what the LORD has Promised...