Second Thoughts

[Hope_0004]

Last night I was with my boyfriend's family, and his cousin I'd never met before was there. She has three children, ages 4, 2, and 1, and is pregnant again!

The weather was supposed to get bad, and my boyfriend's dad took my car to their barn. It never did, but it ended up that I stayed at their house for a good four hours. I've always liked children, but these kids made me completely wonder! The parents were calm and soothing with them, but the kids were off-the-wall and completely obnoxious. No respect for the older members of the family at all... I thought for sure my boyfriend's grandmother would end up breaking a hip or something. I don't know what was wrong with them - they just would not STOP!

Is this the way it is when you have children - constant "no-no's" and being embarrassed at family events? Or do you think these kids were being awful and extreme? I sat there and wondered, "Is this just the way these peoples' lives are going to be for the next five or six years?" And that's if she stops at four!

 

[EmSchmem]

I'm willing to bet these were either extreme or it was just a bad day. It may be possible that these kids don't need calm and soothing. They may need firm discipline instead of nice words. Some parents are afraid of this. My brothers kids can be holy terrors but they have a really messed up life. Not all kids are like that!

 

[Whitestone]

How much sugar did the kids have? It's like cat-nip, but for kids. They could have also been over stimulated by the people around if they are not used to it, and the parents are trying to get them used to gatherings so they can handle and cope with large groups of people.

 

[Jenna]

Yup, could have just been an "off" day. We all have them, even kids. Sometimes it is also that they need a bit of firm discipline. All in all, it doesn't mean that everyone has tremendously obnoxious kids. Don't freak out too much. lol

 

[Andry]

Human nature tends to work that way, unfortunately.

There are some cars I refuse to buy because their drivers have been complete idiots. But that's not rationale or reasonable.

Kids will do that. Get a 'bad' batch of preschoolers, and you'll think twice. Get a 'good' batch, and you'll want one yourself for sure.

But nothing can top having and holding your own child. I used to think the universe revolved around me. But apparently it revolves around my son.

 

[Princessperky]

Kids are not all the same, and many parents either don't know how to control them or are not willing to do it in front of company.

You will make a wonderful parent, just be willing to head online for help should the need arise .

 

[Leanna]

There are many possibilities. Kids were tired. Kids don't get enough discipline. The kids were out of their routine which made them crabby. Kids had too much sugar. However, there are more situations like that with more kids in general, although I only have one. The families I see with many kids close together do have a special challenge. If its not a challenge you want to go through, just space your kids out farther apart and it will be easier.

 

[MERCY@GRACE]

I agree w/ andry! When kids cut up and they aren't your own, it turns you off to having kids! Lets be real, what you described, even a calm mannered, well behaved child will do at least once in his childhood. How often, it just depends on the child and the discipline the parents give. Some days are better than others!

Some days when I go to bed (I have 6kids ) I say to myself, what an easy fun day we had! Some days, I think, "man I wish hubby was off tommorrow

Also keep in mind kids are going to be kids, full of energy, and ambition! God designed us to go thru these stages of life for a reason! A child jumping up and down,or talking loud is not necesarily a bad thing. It becomes disobedience if you tell them to settle down and tehy ignore you! Anyway, hope you get the jist of what I'm trying to say. Don't live in fear of children as they are a blessing from the Lord! ! My life is much richer now w/ my kids in it! Sure it's work, and sure it can be hard, but so can marriage at times,but I would never want to go back to being single

 

[miracle26]

trust me when you have your own kids, it is really different and you will think that your child is so special.

 

[justonelittlelamb]

this makes me think of the show nanny911. I don't watch that show anymore it scares me. I hope I never end up being a bad parent like it seems like those parents are.

 

[Diane_Windsor]

Last night I was with my boyfriend's family . . . .

You have given out too much Reputation in the last 24 hours, try again later.

Great question! Thanks for bringing it up.

How much sugar did the kids have? It's like cat-nip, but for kids.

Actually, 20/20 just did a report not too long ago about food myths, and guess what made the list. Yep. There is no evidence to suggest that sugar causes hyperactivity in children or adults-that's just a myth.

Diane

 

[Hope_0004]

Thanks everyone.

I don't think it's good for me to watch Super Nanny either... that show freaks me out to no end.

I think I am just worried because I'm getting to the age to start thinking about this stuff, and when any little thing happens, I'm like, "There! See! They're little heathens and I'm not contributing to the problem!" In actuality I know that most kids aren't like that. It was just a lot for one night... they were literally hanging from windows.

 

[lucypevensie]

Now would be a great time to begin to study up on children and discipline, even though you don't have any but might someday. See what the Bible says about training children, read some books, do a lot of observation, recall what it was like when YOU were a kid, think and read, read and think. And then after you've done all your thinking and reading remember that you STILL don't have ALL the answers, and keep seeking God.

Most people say that once you have children it's all totally different from what you'd thought it would be like. And it's true, there are a lot of surprises, especially if you have a specially challenging child. But it's not TOTALLY a shock if you educate yourself.