screwed up...... again... girlfriend advice??

[78400stud34]

alright so last night, my girlfriend asks me if there is anything my ex gf had (which she is insecure about) in which she didnt (should have been warning all over this one.... but none of us are perfect). Being as I can only be brutally honest, I meant to compliment her (somehow with the you blow her out of the water personality wise) by telling her that my ex gf had larger breasts..... wow.

about then i realized why I should not be on the phone late at night.

It was wrong on so many levels:

1.) our relationship is not based on physically / sexual attractions (but my last one was).
2.) It made her feel insecure about herself.
3.) you never say anything about how some girl is better than her, even if you are lying....

As you can imagine, she was pretty mad, and I am not surprised.

My question is:

I know she will never look at me the same and it will take her awhile to get over it (never forget it....), but what can I do to try and repair things with her. I hate to be classified as one of those 'typical guys' but if i am not already there, then I've got one foot in the door.

What can I do to show her that not only I love her for who she is, but I do find her attractive and gorgeous.

Gr... its going to be a long week.

 

[Lexi]

*snort* I wish I could help you out but you're going to be in the dog house until she decides to forgive you. I'd apologize and be as sweet as possible for a while...

 

[machazure]

Well, how long have you guys been together? I would try and let her know that you love her for who she is and not what she has. Just tell her what is on your heart, because if you truly care for the gal and she for you, you can work it out with love and God on your side. Make sure you don't defend yourself, because as you mentioned, you messed up. But that's okay, just apologize and let her know she is way more special than any of the other girls out there, just the way she is.

I'll be praying for your stregnth in this situation and pray that God gives you the words to say out of love so you may mend this. I'll be praying that you two are able to get over this incident and grow closer togehter as a couple, keeping Christ at the center at all times.

God bless,
Bradley

 

[78400stud34]

we have only been together for two months, but still have grown close. She is insecure (her words) since my last relationship ended a serious relationship with a girl I love / loved.

But I will try your advice. She has already forgiven me, but it still on our minds , and will be for awhile.

Hmm one of God's gifts to me was not the ability to say what is on my mind, with that being said, any advice in general on how to let her know how I feel wihout seeming fake?

thanks!!

-- Brad Y.

 

[machazure]

Well, without knowing you or too much about your situation just let her know that God made her the way she is, she is beautiful the way she is, and you love her for who she is and the way she is. Secular media today defines to a lot of girls what beautiful is. God says each and everyone of us is beautiful, because we are His creation. There's a reason you aren't with your ex-gf and there is a reason you are with the girl you are now. And neither of those reasons is breast size. I would just apologize to her with all your heart and let her know that she is the most beautiful girl to you and breast size has nothing to do with why you like her or why you think she is attractive.

Good luck with this man!
Bradley

 

[Inperfected]

Ok... I understand what you did... 100% not because i was on her side... but rather yours... :S Ok I'll try explain this in a PG form... I sort of accidently told my ex (when we were together) that i liked it that he was... smaller as it never allowed me to know if he was struggling... Now needless to say, our strong relationship went um quite nicely put for a LONG walk... infact we didn't talk it hurt him so much...

This is where i advise a letter... This is something you can give and it will explain it nicely without the anger of you being there... Explain the whole thing... somewhat like you explained it to us. Let her know she is way BETTER!

 

[Moluku]

Explain things to her and be honest. You were trying to be honest with her, despite how things came out. That was your best effort, though it wasn't the most eloquent thing to have said. She needs to understand that you were trying to tell her the truth, and your mouth got the best of you. Help her to understand that this holds no bearing on your relationship with her now. That you love her, you chose her, and you see her as beautiful in your eyes. Talk, communication is so important in making a relationship last. The silent treatment, for both parties, accomplishes nothing leaving problems unresolved.

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

Yup. Well, it is going to be on her mind for awhile...and if something else comes up...she might bring it up again. I tend to have a problem forgiving and forgetting things too. Once my bf told me that he was checking out some other girls breasts...that made me mad. And to tell you the truth, I still get upset a little when it comes to mind. Thank goodness things get put in the past after awhile...even if they don't go all the way away.

One thing: you should never say that another girl is prettier, etc, then someone else. You can say, "yeah, she is pretty, but not as pretty as you are!" And so on.

I would just be nice to her...perhaps write her a card and apoligise and let her know that you goofed up. Then explain how much you love her-inside and out!!!

 

[ShiningSonBeam]

If this situation gets passed the hurt to where she is able to joke about it a little, maybe mention that you don't want to have to rent a wheel barrow when gravity has taken hold of them. Coming from a girl who has larger breasts, I can say that in time you will both be glad she doesn't. I get the other end of the spectrum of jokes from my husband... neither feels all that great, so you are ahead of the game to realize NOW how you are affecting her and to apologize. I'm only 34... I shudder to think what they'll be like in 20 or 30 years!! I imagine I'll be rolling them up like a thick pancake every morning. Hopefully, your girl will appreciate the way she looks after that. If not, you may have bigger problems (due to her self-esteem) than just your comments. I'm also not sure about the issues of you having left a serious relationship and getting so close to another person in 2 months... it seems like a lot of stuff from the other relationship would work its way into this one, whether you like it or not.

By the way, my husband also wishes he were bigger and I have no earthly idea why he/men feel this way. But I do my best to let him know that I am all his and proud of it.

Another two cents: my previous relationship did make a dent in my marriage for a while... I was always assuming he'd react to everything in the same volatile way the other guy used to. We've been married nearly 5 years (this April) and are finally reaching the depth I'd hoped for in the beginning.