School

[flying_kiwifruit]

My parents donr know about the fact that I find it hard to be in crowds and stuff and that sometimes school set it off. It used to be only a few days every few weeks that I would get anxious at school, and I could fight through those days, now it is everyday. It feels like all my fellow year 13 (grade 12) are waiting for me to screw up badly, like they are watching me and just commenting in there head about how weird I am, and stuff. I'm feel like I'm such a outcast and that it wont be long now until comment are being made again.

Because of all of this I have been skipping school 1 or two days a weeks, my Mum is starting to find out though, and she is not happy about it. I cant tell her what is going on, but I feel like I cant go to school either. I'm trapped between two things.

 

[Everlasting33]

Sorry to hear things have been tough for you. Sounds like you may have social anxiety, although speaking with a professional will help. Have you thought about therapy? Have you been bullied?

 

[HannahBanana]

I second what Steelerbred33 said about seeing a professional. Seeing a therapist can help so much in overcoming psychological disorders. My therapist is basically the only reason I've been able to overcome so much of my anxiety and depression. So I definitely recommend that option to you as well.

 

[flying_kiwifruit]

I used to see a school counsellor but he has left for a teaching stint for 7 weeks. I would get professional help but that involves my parents. As for the bullying, I was bullied for 7 years in primary school and then for some more in high school until the end of last year. The bully has left school but yeah.

 

[KTKat]

I can kind of relate I think. when I was in school I was really shy and didn't talk to anyone. This resulted in me being an outcast, and I would constantly feel as if people were looking at me or talking about me. I think it just has a lot to do with self esteem. Have you tried Cognitive behavioral therapy? If not, google it, and it may help you out. Good luck, and stay strong!!!!

 

[flying_kiwifruit]

KTKat what you said about feeling like people were looking at you or talking about you is almost exactly what it is like for me. These feeling that they are doing this trigger off me being anxious and stuff, because I dont like attention being paid at me. I prefer to be more behind the scenes and stuff, to go unoticed.

As for CBT I have never really understood it, I have done research on it but still never understood it.

 

[CoonDawg_07]

Hey Ms. Kiwifruit...I can 100% relate, I graduated in 07, but every time I would walk down the hall I would just stare at the ground as I walked and all I could think about is what others were thinking about me. It is the same for me now pretty much, as I work in a retail store, and am constantly in public. The missing school thing is me as well. My parents drive a truck and are usually gone, so I would only go to school when I wanted and had to go see a truency officer twice over two years, and the missing school all started b/c I don't like to be around a crowd! I'll pray for you!