School/IEPs

[Lena75]

I was wondering for all of you parents with an autistic or asperger's child. Is your child on an IEP (individual education plan)? In a special school or a regular public/private school with an aide or EA (educational assistant)? Is your child integrated or segregated?

My son is autistic, 8 years old and in grade 3. He is in a regular public school, integrated and sharing an EA (a big no-no). Just this last Friday, we had and still have school issues to deal with. Last year was a breeze. He had his own EA and did extremely well academically and socially. So this year, they doubled up the EA again and we are back to grade 1 with all the problems. Seems the school board just doesn't get it, or something. So, do you mind telling a little about your child and school?

 

[labellady]

My son has Asperger's. He is 11 yrs. I had him in p/s through 3rd grade, now I homeschool him.

While he was p/s he had an IEP. They wanted to mainstream him. I didn't feel he was up to it. He has social anxiety and he can't function well in groups. The sp. education teachers said he needed more social to combat his anxiety, but I was afraid he would get an ulcer or worse.

Homeschooling is working for me and we really enjoy it. Good luck and God bless!

 

[PaladinValer]

That was not the best move, labellady.

I have Asperger's Syndrome and it wasn't until I really began to interreact with my peers that I was able to confront my disability.

Sheltering a person with AS from social interreaction will not help that child. How is this child supposed to grow socially at all without being around his/her peers? No; you need to put the child in a public setting so that the child can experiment and explore with a group.

I started in a phase III BOCES setting in grade one; I ended up fully mainstreamed in high school with friends and a Regent's Diploma. Today, I have a BA in history and even more friends. And the only reason why I got to this level was constantly being in a social setting.

If anyone continue shelting children with AS, you will only destroy any chance of those children to learn and grow socially.

My advice to you is to try what the expert's suggest. They know what they are talking about. Could they be wrong? Absolutely! My mother had to literally shout those hierarchs in the system for me to advance at all; they constantly suggested that I'm not "ready;" In the end, my mother was right. But those hierarchs did give her good advice on how to do it her way, and they worked out well (I should know!). And later experts that she dealt with were extremely helpful and encouraging in later grades.

Stop the homeschooling and put the child back in the public school system in a special school setting, in a phase III program. Then try a phase II if that goes well. Then phase I. If the child does "too well" in III, then immediately transfer the child to II or even I. Then try a special classroom setting in a "normal" school. Then try havign the child attend certain subjects he or she excells at in a completely mainstreamed setting with a observer. Then go completely mainstreamed with the observer and also 1 or 2 resource room periods. Then slowly wean the child away from needed the observer but with the resource room periods. Then slowly wean away the resource room periods. By high school, the child could very well be mainstreamed completely with either only 1 resource period or none. It could happen even sooner. Then again, by grade 12, you could still be with full resource room periods plus the observer. In either case, your child would have improved, and that is what is most important.

I would also suggest a counseling at least once a week. Many private practices include private and group sessions, which would fit a child with AS perfectly. Start with only private sessions. As the child matures and grows socially, get the child in group sessions. Many places have special young child, teen, or young adult sessions with specialists, which would be perfect. Eventually, group sessions will be best, and then you can either continue them in smaller doces or completely wean them all off.

 

[rakowskidp]

My son has Asperger's. He is 11 yrs. I had him in p/s through 3rd grade, now I homeschool him.

While he was p/s he had an IEP. They wanted to mainstream him. I didn't feel he was up to it. He has social anxiety and he can't function well in groups. The sp. education teachers said he needed more social to combat his anxiety, but I was afraid he would get an ulcer or worse.

Homeschooling is working for me and we really enjoy it. Good luck and God bless!

You sound like a great mom, and I pray that more parents would be as concerned as you and the others in this forum!

Homeschooling is the only way it is going to work with our Aspie daughter, too. We've had two teachers - one in public school , the other in private school - tell her, to her face, that she wasn't welcome back. This was after my wife explained our daughter's challenges and secured agreements from both that they would help in any way possible. They want her in special education, which would place her VERY far behind her academic abilities. I'm not willing to sacrifice one for the other. Not to mention, I don't want her to start with negative peer influences, and we all know that the public schools (at least around here) are full of them. She's much more easily led than her typically-developing peers.

By the way, to address an issue brought up in this thread: there are plenty of other ways to get "socialization" besides the public schools. In fact, the homeschooling parent has far more options as a result of their children not being warehoused in a building on the other side of town for 5 or more hours a day. Our daughter will be able to go to the library, the support group at church, and field trips that are only limited by her interest, ability, and tolerance. We're also going to be able to work relational therapy sessions right into her 'school' day. The public schools cannot possibly individualize a curriculum that would be even half as stimulating for her.

 

[Cat59]

My son is in a special school for children with autistic spectrum disorders. He goes into "Leavers" next year and we are hoping he will gradually be intergrated into a local college, where other children from the school have gone very successfully. There were attempts made to intergrate into mainstream at 11, which went horribly wrong and we were advised for him to go where he is now. I didn't want him to go but followed that advice and am so grateful!

 

[Lena75]

Well, we just signed more IEP papers at the school and things are going very well! You all sound like great parents who care for your children and are doing what is in their bests interests! Praise God!

 

[Fangtastic]

im probably the most negative parent to talk to right now as I've pulled my child OUT of mainstream due to the inadequate security at the "alternative"school my son was going to. I purchased a book on IEP's and at this point have contacted a denver based disability attorney as these people just don't get it,or want to get it. They're incapable of much other than passing the buck.they have no integrity and it falls on my child who needs more than they will offer.But they will,because I have the ability to fight them. Right now,im homeschooling him,and he's less agressive,less moody and seems to feel safe. problem is socialization. he has 2 younger siblings but its not a school setting so of course im not going to see the outbursts they do. as far as meds go..we've been on seroquel,prozac,risperdal,all the seizure meds,zyprexa..nothing reacts favorably with my son. im lost but this is life with autism...glad to know you're out there.

 

[Puritan Idelette]

Hi !
I'm new to this forum and didin't even realize that there was an autism/Asperger's forum! My youngest child, was diagnosed in 3rd grade. He attended a Classical Christian School in our large city (prestigious now as it was founded by a member of President Bush's Former Administration). The school started out great as it was begun to give opportunity to inner city and under served children plus foster racial reconciliation. As it expanded and grew they hired staff that focused on "academic excellence" as the top priority. Although my son fared well from 1st grade on with some struggles surfacing as he got older, I still felt love and support for him and for me as a single mother. By sixth grade there was a complete shut down as he could not cope with the complexities of organization with different teachers for different classes, as well as the burden of not fitting in socially as everyone else was maturing and he was not. In fairness to the school they had always stated they could not accomodate "special needs" but privately I was assured that whatever it took they would see him through. By the end of his year I was absolutely certain that continued placement there was impossible. He had been evaluated by our public school and they concurred with the diagnosis of Aspergers but stated that he had no learning disabilities. His specialist stated that because of his intelligence he tested well enough to hit the low expectations of public school but is in drastic need of "services" because of profound learning disabilities.

We now homeschool and others have told me how much more relaxed and happy he is. To PaladinValer: I'm glad you've had a great experience. However, my son's Pediatric Psychiatrist who is known throughout our large city stated that homeschooling was a good option for him. My son was in the same social milieu and school environment from 1st through 6th grade. If he was going to make great strides socially- he was in the ideal environment to do it. He actually is doing better in relating to others as he is not coming home every day with hurt feelings and being angry from teachers who misunderstand his limitations as being careless or irresponsible, and classmates who make fun of him; sad but can occur even in a Christian school since we all are imperfect.
Too all who struggle: I have learned from my own mistakes not to make sweeping generalizations- I often was too dogmatic about things I really didn't know about both in my Christian life and even about issues like this. I encourage everyone- pray, seek the counsel of Godly people as well as professionals and do what you believe best for your child. My church leadership basically said my son should be in Public Education since I couldn't afford other private schools. We had received generous assistance at this one. (I am divorced with little child support and also work outside the home). Yet, another elder privately encouraged me to homeschool as he believes it is the best option personally for his family too. For awhile I stressed about how my son would get through college when the time came and how he would function. Finally, I concluded that it was far more important for him to be a godly young man, not polluted by the wickedness flaunted from other students that he couldn't avoid on a school bus or in school or be hurt (physically and emotionally) by bullying that happens even to neurotypical children but expecially to those with disabilities. Again, I'm sure there are those who are having great experiences and opportunities in the Public School forum; yet, that isn't the case for everyone. My son would not qualifiy for a special school setting, nor a teacher's aide or educational assistant.

I pray for all of you in this difficult struggle and appreciate your prayers as well. How I long for when we are Home with the Lord and every tear will be wiped from our eyes!