Schizophrenia?

[xianlexavier]

I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia. Medications help, but I'm not happy with side effects from it and having to change medications so often, to try to find the "right" one for me.

I know that the devil is trying hard to bring back the bad things in my life, and I want to move forward and get on with my life. I have many plans and goals that I want to achieve.

Rebuking him doesn't work for long because he always comes back. And I feel that he knows my sensitive spots and hangs on to them to throw back in my face at times I don't need it (such as while i'm driving, trying to have fun with my family and loved ones), and he causes me a lot of mental pain by putting terrible, horrid thoughts in my head about my family and all. It seems that he or who or whatever is doing this is trying to ruin my life - at a time when I need it the least!

I just turned 21 and I'm ready to start my life. But this thing is really bothering me to the point of depression again. I do NOT want to go back into the hospital, for one reason we have not the money and another reason is that I know I do not belong there. I want to be independent and be able to stand on my own two feet without help of my parents. I've bugged them to death about tons of things already, and I dont want to put more pressure on them.

But he won't leave me alone. Any advice? Can someone make him go away? Can *I* make him go away and leave me alone forever? I feel I am too old to be playing silly little mind games with him.

Help?

Thanks you all, for listening. I really appreciate it.

Love,
Lex

 

[Alive again]

Sounds like you are doing what it takes. It is a tiring battle. For me it has seeemed to get better with time, but likes to try to sneak back when things get rough again and I'm distracted. Sounds like for you it is a much more continuous battle. You know the basics of meditating and praying even to the point of asking God to renew your mind in Christ Jesus and asking Him to help you take every though captive and the just plan Help when that is all you are able. I recently had a noc i thought I was on the verge of a psychotic break and I just prayed help me Lord and asked my hubby to pray for me although he doesn't get what it's all about. I have played Bible on tape or cd to fill my mind with God's word, prayed to sleep In God's lap . . . all sorts of things over the years. I have been fortunate to run across some good books by christians with my disease to help me as well as books by Neil Andersen-the bondage breaker books and henry cloud-the boundaries book that have helped me understand and deal with some of my issues. Prob is I loan them out as quick as I get them and never have a copy to reread when i need it The two best I have found recently are In the Pit by Nancy hagerman and Seek His Face He will Provide -both have their coping tips. Perhaps there is something similiar for schizophrenia or there would be enoughoverlap for these books to be helpful for you if you can read those type of books. these two where both shorter and easier to read in style for me. I found them thru a google search at bothe amazon, barnes and noble and evn then on e-bay a couple of times. Feel free to share here and talk to website about a forum for open dx or schizophrenia also. No one will turn you away here and we will be happy to join you in pray and support. You do not battle this alone either here on earth or in the heavenlies-our foe is defeated and you have many more fellow warriors than you yet realize-let us join you in this journey we call earthly life as we look forward with anticipation to our glorious future!!!!

 

[Zita123]

I too have these "devil" issues. I really don't tell anyone because then they will really think I'm out there! Being bipolar and all. But, I also would hear him as if he were right next to me. My brothers were told about this from my mother and they came over with crosses and holy water and prayed for me and rebuked like crazy!!! It did go away but, In trouble times, there it is right back! Just keep on praying harder and harder!!! Circle yourself with the white light of the holy spirit and ask GOD to have any evil bouce off that circle.. I will keep you in my prayers always GOD BLESS!!
Zita

I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia. Medications help, but I'm not happy with side effects from it and having to change medications so often, to try to find the "right" one for me.

I know that the devil is trying hard to bring back the bad things in my life, and I want to move forward and get on with my life. I have many plans and goals that I want to achieve.

Rebuking him doesn't work for long because he always comes back. And I feel that he knows my sensitive spots and hangs on to them to throw back in my face at times I don't need it (such as while i'm driving, trying to have fun with my family and loved ones), and he causes me a lot of mental pain by putting terrible, horrid thoughts in my head about my family and all. It seems that he or who or whatever is doing this is trying to ruin my life - at a time when I need it the least!

I just turned 21 and I'm ready to start my life. But this thing is really bothering me to the point of depression again. I do NOT want to go back into the hospital, for one reason we have not the money and another reason is that I know I do not belong there. I want to be independent and be able to stand on my own two feet without help of my parents. I've bugged them to death about tons of things already, and I dont want to put more pressure on them.

But he won't leave me alone. Any advice? Can someone make him go away? Can *I* make him go away and leave me alone forever? I feel I am too old to be playing silly little mind games with him.

Help?

Thanks you all, for listening. I really appreciate it.

Love,
Lex

 

[xianlexavier]

thank you guys for the advice. really appreciate it! zita: it feels good to know that i'm not the only one, though i knew i wasnt its just that with satan picking on ya, it can make you feel all alone, know what i mean? thank you for your story about your experience with it.
thank you for telling me about the books. i didnt know they existed! i thought all books on stuff like this was purely for doctors and other medical purposes. i'll be sure to look into it.
i really, REALLY appreciate it u guys. i will keep praying. i know it will help.

 

[Jeshu]

Lex

Please be careful not to fight this inner voice as Satan for it isn't. The voices we are hearing is a simptom of our illness. Satan certainly uses these 'voices' in our lives, as he did in my life - for for years I believed Satan was the voice I heard but anti-psychotic medication took all that screaming away so that taught me the truth about the voices (I suffer from schizo-effective disorder.)
For people like you and me we have to hear that voice or these voices and we have to pray for protection that our minds do not take the images of what we are hearing and seeing on board, indeed that we don't even believe in an identity for the voice(s) we are hearing.
It is great to see that you are still full of youthful energy and that you hope to do a lot with your life. NEVER give that goal away that is my humble advise.

God Bless.

 

[IKTCA]

Brother X:

Would you take a small step toward the goal? You said:

Rebuking him doesn't work for long because he always comes back.

I know what you mean. But the other side of the coin is he left when you rebuked him! Isn't it something! He didn't leave because he got bored. He wanted to stay and harass you, but he had no choice but to go when you said go! It is not a small victory!

Why did he have to go? Because you are more powerful than he? Because he is afraid of you? Can we talk about this as the first step? I think we can build on this.
Rupert

 

[john7angel]

Well, its not satan, what it is, is your own belief that a native thought is satat and the posative thoughts are God. When ever YOU think something that is evil, sinnful or and ect, you might think its satan or demons. In reality, its you making yourself believe its satan when it isn't.
I know, i have schizophrenia, bp, and ocd. I am at this time (my second schizo attack was 2 years age "age 33" now 35) believe its God, Jesus, Holy Spirit and satan. When my mind slows down, i stop and think who is putting these thoughts, feeling in me that it is satan or God. I found it is me. Yet, i say it to you and i say it know knowing as my mind is clear, but when i go manis or get into a paranoid state, that is when these beliefs come. Its not the devil, its the evil thoughts that puts fear in you as if you are going to sin, makes you think of God and get scared, those thoughts dewl in our minds over and over.
Don't get me wrong, i believe satan totures us (if God allows it), but i do believe that 95-99% is do to our illness.
Also, christian telling you (if they are) its demons or satan, have no understanding of this illness and you should not listen to them, it only cause your belief and paranoida to grow and you get worse, and its NOT TRUE!
Just tell yourself, i'm saved, satan can't touch me, if he trys his knocking on the door where the Holy Spirit lives and its God that opens the door only to slam it in satans face.
And if you believe its satan, don't be afraid, tell yourself, what is God trying to teach me useing satan? Remember, your bought and pays for, and Jesus said, HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU!
But like i said, its not satan, its your own thoughts as you think something to put that thought with a feeling and that feeling with a belief its God, Jesus or satan.
I hope that helps, smiling

God Bless, John

 

[BohemianChris]

I'm also diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia...or schizoaffective disorder, it depends on the doctor you ask.

What antipsychotics are you on? I'm on Abilify 15mg, Zyprexa 30mg and Perphenizine 8mg. Abilify takes away the auditory hallucinations and helps with the negative symptoms, Zyprexa takes away the visual hallucinations, and Perphenizine takes away the paranoia.

Keep working with your doctor and remember to take your meds. They can only help.

Best,
Chris

 

[Jeshu]

I'm also diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia...or schizoaffective disorder, it depends on the doctor you ask.

What antipsychotics are you on? I'm on Abilify 15mg, Zyprexa 30mg and Perphenizine 8mg. Abilify takes away the auditory hallucinations and helps with the negative symptoms, Zyprexa takes away the visual hallucinations, and Perphenizine takes away the paranoia.

Keep working with your doctor and remember to take your meds. They can only help.

Best,
Chris

Hi Chris.

I'm also diagnosed as having schizoaffective disorder at first they thought I had a bad case of bi-polar but with voices and god and/or satan coming at will for a visit my doctors found me a different label.
I'm on 20 mg Abilify and take currently 1200 mg of sodium volproate.
You are on Perphenizine for paranoia attacks does that stuff work effectively? Are there many other (side) effects. I'm looking for something to deal with my anxiety attacks.

God bless

 

[BohemianChris]

Hi Chris.

I'm also diagnosed as having schizoaffective disorder at first they thought I had a bad case of bi-polar but with voices and god and/or satan coming at will for a visit my doctors found me a different label.
I'm on 20 mg Abilify and take currently 1200 mg of sodium volproate.
You are on Perphenizine for paranoia attacks does that stuff work effectively? Are there many other (side) effects. I'm looking for something to deal with my anxiety attacks.

God bless

Abilify is a great drug. As long as you can get the insurance company to pay for it -- it's extremely expensive.

Perphenizine works wonders for my paranoia. However, it is an old school antipsychotic, therefore serious side effects can occur. Some include blurred vision, slurred speech, TD, and sedation. I've experienced none so far and I've been on it for ~6 months.

If you're looking for something to help with anxiety, Perphenizine is not the answer. Ask your psychiatrist about benzos eg., Valium, Ativan, Klonopin. Currently, I take Valium 5mg 3x daily, Klonopin 1mg 3x daily, and 4mg of Ativan at night. Combined (Valium and Klonopin) I experience no anxiety, even in the most stressful or most triggering situations. Ativan is great for panic attacks because it works *very* fast.

Let me know how you are doing. Feel free to PM me.

Best,
Chris

 

[xianlexavier]

Lex

Please be careful not to fight this inner voice as Satan for it isn't. The voices we are hearing is a simptom of our illness. Satan certainly uses these 'voices' in our lives, as he did in my life - for for years I believed Satan was the voice I heard but anti-psychotic medication took all that screaming away so that taught me the truth about the voices (I suffer from schizo-effective disorder.)
For people like you and me we have to hear that voice or these voices and we have to pray for protection that our minds do not take the images of what we are hearing and seeing on board, indeed that we don't even believe in an identity for the voice(s) we are hearing.
It is great to see that you are still full of youthful energy and that you hope to do a lot with your life. NEVER give that goal away that is my humble advise.

God Bless.

this is an important post (yours). i like it. it's made me stop and think.. should i push all the voices away? sometimes i cannot tell who is who and/or what is what. i get confused and sometimes i do bad things to harm myself.
GOD BLESS *YOU*, and take care!
-Lex

 

[Intrepidman]

this is an important post (yours). i like it. it's made me stop and think.. should i push all the voices away? sometimes i cannot tell who is who and/or what is what. i get confused and sometimes i do bad things to harm myself.
GOD BLESS *YOU*, and take care!
-Lex

Well, if a voice get you confused and you harm yourself it's not from God.

 

[Jeshu]

..should i push all the voices away? sometimes i cannot tell who is who and/or what is what. i get confused and sometimes i do bad things to harm myself.
GOD BLESS *YOU*, and take care!
-Lex

Hi Lex
Yes I believe that we have to push all the voices away, as much as this is possible, given that it doesn't just stop by itself. In short ignoring them and not believing what 'they' are trying to tell us is the way to go.
For if we believe in 'their' power or think that it is Satan or his forces then we set ourselves up to be continually pestered by 'them' in the worst possible way - then these voices will attack our faith. It is much better to understand it as a symptom of our illness for that is hard enough to cope with I reacon. (Please remember that medication can stop/reduce these voices dramatically or atleast they did that for me. This was enough proof to me that it wasn't Satan or his mates having a go at me as I thought for many years.)

God blessings with this.

 

[Zita123]

I agree with Jeshu!! Meds took mine away.

Zita

Hi Lex
Yes I believe that we have to push all the voices away, as much as this is possible, given that it doesn't just stop by itself. In short ignoring them and not believing what 'they' are trying to tell us is the way to go.
For if we believe in 'their' power or think that it is Satan or his forces then we set ourselves up to be continually pestered by 'them' in the worst possible way - then these voices will attack our faith. It is much better to understand it as a symptom of our illness for that is hard enough to cope with I reacon. (Please remember that medication can stop/reduce these voices dramatically or atleast they did that for me. This was enough proof to me that it wasn't Satan or his mates having a go at me as I thought for many years.)

God blessings with this.

 

[xianlexavier]

I agree with Jeshu!! Meds took mine away.

Zita

Thank you both, Jeshu and Zita. Yes meds do help with mine, but recently i'm feeling a bit immune to them. this october i've been depressed more than ever before. i don't know why either.

As far as Satan and the voices, and pestering.. that is very true, Jeshu. And to be truthful, i feel they have been attacking my faith lately. they tell me things or show me things, then i get really interested in it (such as books or movies, even music, but most of the time, books). like right now they have told me about chakras. i know this is bad just because i have a feeling it's bad. one time, they even tried to get me into being a buddist. i told them i don't want to be. they even showed me (either in a dream or day dream of some sort i guess) a little bit about budda (spelling here?!) and i seen two colors. i later looked up buddism on the internet and found a flag of a country with those two colors that i guess are considered a buddist country. red and yellow is what i seen. and no i was not on any other drugs. even at that time, i wasn't even on any prescriptions except paxil. and paxil didn't work, i found out later. moved me to prozac, and now on cymbalta and my doctor wants to keep me on it (i asked him to change it last time i seen him but he said no, so i'm staying on it.. i trust him. he is a very good doctor )

okey dokey, sorry for rattling on. once again, my fingers have taken advantage of me lol!

be safe,
lex

 

[Jeshu]

I still struggle at times with these voices as well. I used to be completely fooled by 'them' utterly convinced that Satan and his hordes had taken up residence inside of my spiritual being. Completely ignoring 'them' when 'they' are so load and clear is hard to do.
It is amazing Lex what happens when these voices started to die down inside and you start to see how intensive your battle with a psychotic mind has been.
I suggest that you may well benefit from a better medication - if these voices are coming back again - as there are various anti-psychotic medications around where you might benefit from.

God Bless

 

[Zita123]

The worst time I have is when I am praying and then they interupt. I get so mad then, I find myself afraid to pray. I say to GOD please don't listen to the other side of my mind. But, It gets too confusing at times. I do need a med change now. I'm very angy and I'm screaming at everyone and that is not the person I am! Oh well, I'm still gonna try to pray!

GOD BLESS,
Zita

I still struggle at times with these voices as well. I used to be completely fooled by 'them' utterly convinced that Satan and his hordes had taken up residence inside of my spiritual being. Completely ignoring 'them' when 'they' are so load and clear is hard to do.
It is amazing Lex what happens when these voices started to die down inside and you start to see how intensive your battle with a psychotic mind has been.
I suggest that you may well benefit from a better medication - if these voices are coming back again - as there are various anti-psychotic medications around where you might benefit from.

God Bless

 

[RedTulipMom]

I'm also diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia...or schizoaffective disorder, it depends on the doctor you ask.

What antipsychotics are you on? I'm on Abilify 15mg, Zyprexa 30mg and Perphenizine 8mg. Abilify takes away the auditory hallucinations and helps with the negative symptoms, Zyprexa takes away the visual hallucinations, and Perphenizine takes away the paranoia.

Ok..i have a concern and question!! My 17 yr old son was first diagnosed as bipolar w/psychosis and they had him on depakote 1250mg (mood stabilizer) and zyprexa 20 mg (anti-psychotic). Last week they changed his diagnosis to Schizo-Affective Disorder and he is still on the depakote but they took him off the zyprexa and put him on 160mg daily of Geodon(anti-psychotic)!! When i read the above my first question is..are Paranoid Schizophrenia and Schizo-Affective Disorder that similiar?? Also why arent you on a mood stablizer? i was told Schizo-Affective means you have BOTH a mood and A Thought disorder, so you would need a mood stablizer! Also do you know if Geodon is the same as zyprexa in only dealing with the visual hallucinations? Should he be on the Abilfy to take away the voices??

 

[Jeshu]

Ok..i have a concern and question!! My 17 yr old son was first diagnosed as bipolar w/psychosis and they had him on depakote 1250mg (mood stabilizer) and zyprexa 20 mg (anti-psychotic). Last week they changed his diagnosis to Schizo-Affective Disorder and he is still on the depakote but they took him off the zyprexa and put him on 160mg daily of Geodon(anti-psychotic)!! When i read the above my first question is..are Paranoid Schizophrenia and Schizo-Affective Disorder that similiar?? Also why arent you on a mood stablizer? i was told Schizo-Affective means you have BOTH a mood and A Thought disorder, so you would need a mood stablizer! Also do you know if Geodon is the same as zyprexa in only dealing with the visual hallucinations? Should he be on the Abilfy to take away the voices??

As far as I know Geodon, Ziprasidone hydrochloride, is the last resort mighty power drug, among anti-psychotics. I guess your son must be very ill indeed and hasn't responded well to the other medications, so they are trying him on Geodon.
(by the way Abilify can take care of the voices as well as the hallucinations the doctors may still try him on that - it is a very exspensive drug)

Gerry