Scared...

[svl3p]

Lately I've been more and more depressed and stressed...It's been taking a toll on my family, too.

My pastor offered to ask a church lady if she'd be willing to talk with me, and today I finally said he could go ahead and ask her.

This is scaring the heck outta me...The only times I've told people about my depression and history had negative experiences, apart from my husband. Plus, well...this lady has had a rough time the last few years...had breast cancer..what right do i have to be depressed when I haven't dealt with something like that?

I feel like such an imposter...playing the good Christian and wife and mom on the outside, but feeling like i'm failing horribly on the inside.

I'm afraid of telling her. I'm afraid of being labeled and of her thinking only of what i tell her, when she sees me..instead of seeing 'me' if that makes sense.

And, I'm afraid of not being able to open up, and of wasting her time...would just be awkward if she comes here...and i don't talk, etc etc...Plus, I'm scared of how my kids will behave when she's here, and what she'll think of my parenting, etc

I know fear isn't of God, and i'm trying to stay ahead of it...I'm just having such a hard time...

 

[UnitynLove]

Check this out

YouTube - TogetherInWorship's Channel

 

[Miss Elly]

Fear seems to go along with depression many times. When I had some severe episodes along with panic disorder, I was deathly afraid to go to church (though I was a christian), the devil tormented my mind with fear if I went and tormented me with guilt if I didn't go.

Finally I got through my fear and pride and asked the church body to pray. I tried to tell them how I felt - they knew something was wrong because I cried so much all of the time. It felt so good to unload and I'm sure it will be for you too. The church called for a fast for me and I got better. My heart goes out to you. Just put it out all out there and don't be afraid. The bible says that underneath us are the everlasting arms. You don't have far to fall, because underneath are HIS ARMS

 

[kerplin]

Fear is a natural emotion while dealing with a situation like this. I have dealt with depression and anxiety issues for years. From experience I can tell you there is no easy way around it. There is no quick fix for it.

While fear, and pain isn't of God, feeling them is of life. It's ok to be down, it's ok to not be happy all the time. There are times in life when you just have to go to God and say, "This is hard, it's rough, and it's frustrating. I'm sad, and I don't know what to do. It scares me that I feel this way," etc. There is nothing wrong with feeling down, and being afraid. Jesus was far from ok, when he was praying for the cup to be passed from his hands before his crucifixion.

There are some people who will help you, and some who will not understand. Your right is to feel the way you feel, and you shouldn't be ashamed because someone has gone through more. Every person is different.

If you would like you may PM me and we can talk a little more. It is up to you.

Above all remember, Isiah 40:31
They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint.

Sometimes things get rough, sometimes things take time. Sometimes things aren't a bed of roses. But God won't give you anything you can't handle.

 

[Lakercom]

I suggest letting the visiting lady do the talking. If you are up to it you can open up but since she has agrred to come and see you she will be prepared to minister to you and comfort you without you having to reveal a bunch of uncomfortable stuff about yourself. The kids? ........let's pray ..........

 

[annrobert]

Lately I've been more and more depressed and stressed...It's been taking a toll on my family, too.

My pastor offered to ask a church lady if she'd be willing to talk with me, and today I finally said he could go ahead and ask her.

This is scaring the heck outta me...The only times I've told people about my depression and history had negative experiences, apart from my husband. Plus, well...this lady has had a rough time the last few years...had breast cancer..what right do i have to be depressed when I haven't dealt with something like that?

I feel like such an imposter...playing the good Christian and wife and mom on the outside, but feeling like i'm failing horribly on the inside.

I'm afraid of telling her. I'm afraid of being labeled and of her thinking only of what i tell her, when she sees me..instead of seeing 'me' if that makes sense.

And, I'm afraid of not being able to open up, and of wasting her time...would just be awkward if she comes here...and i don't talk, etc etc...Plus, I'm scared of how my kids will behave when she's here, and what she'll think of my parenting, etc

I know fear isn't of God, and i'm trying to stay ahead of it...I'm just having such a hard time...

I am sorry that you are hurting right now.I understand being scared to open up.Your pastor probably chose someone he thought would be compassionate.
I would not worry about how much you open up,I do not think she is expecting you to share more than you are comfortable with.I think she will be happy just to visit with you and be supportive regardless of how much you open up or not.It is okay to just get to know her and then share as you feel like , lots or little.
I know some people are judgemental though and that can really hurt , so just allow yourself to be reserved and feel it out.

Kids will be kids so try to relax and be yourself.

depression does not strike those who have a right so to speak, it hits randomly just like other illnesses.Sometimes people may know what may have contributed and sometimes they never know at all.All illnesses cause pain and suffering and people need support and help with it , however for myself emotional pain is worse.

Jesus understands about pain and He does not judge , rather He came to heal the broken hearted and set at liberty those who are bruised and to give us rest and restore our souls.

The people here are wonderful and caring.

I hope you feel better soon and I am happy you are reaching out for help.

Miss Elly, it sounds like you have a wonderful church.

 

[clavdiachauchat]

I'm sure this woman knows enough about you to know that you are struggling, right?
The people that signed on to talk to me from church are not the people who look at me like I am responsible for my depression--they have been people who have had their own struggles. I hope that is the case with the woman who plans to visit you. I'm guessing that will be the case, and that she will be very compassionate. Let us know how it goes!

 

[svl3p]

I'm sure this woman knows enough about you to know that you are struggling, right?
The people that signed on to talk to me from church are not the people who look at me like I am responsible for my depression--they have been people who have had their own struggles. I hope that is the case with the woman who plans to visit you. I'm guessing that will be the case, and that she will be very compassionate. Let us know how it goes!

I really don't know what she knows about me..I've never really talked to her before..so it all depends on what the pastor discloses I guess before she comes..if she comes...

I emailed my pastor on monday to say i'd talk to her but haven't gotten a reply yet so still waiting to see what'll happen

 

[Criada]

I know it's really hard to open up, but it really does help if you can talk to someone. Just take it slowly, I'm sure she won't push you... tell her as much as you feel comfortable with.
Praying for peace, and that this is a real help to your recovery.

 

[Miss Elly]

You know what would be great too, and remember that all things are possible with God, is if your friend just talked to you about what God is going to do in your life - - - just make a statement and read the promises of God. Depressed people don't really want to be told what to do so much, as they just need to be encouraged. They have already tried everything they can think of and it has not worked many times. It just puts more pressure on them to say "do this". They don't want to reiterate every depession sympton and feel it descending on them as they speak.

At times I have just said, ok I don't have a shred of faith, I don't feel a thing but that depression and agony. But I will have faith in YOUR faith. It works! God bless

 

[svl3p]

Well, my pastor spoke to the lady he had in mind and she doesn't have the time to commit to it. So that's that.

He offered to ask another lady, or that the church can set me up wiht (pay most, if not all) for counselling through either a large christian business or a small private one....but I don't know.

I'm so tired of roadblocks..I just don't have the energy to keep hoping and hoping only to have things not turn out. I'm leaning more toward the professionals...mainly because if I end up stopping going, it won't be as awkward...i won't ever see the person again....but if i meet with the chruch lady (if she even has the time..she has 5 young kids of herself and lives a ways away from me) i'd see her at church every week and would be awkward to me, that she knew so much...

But with no car during the day, a toddler and a nursing infant..it's just not realistic anyways to think I could manage seeing a professional. Nothing appeals to me. I know I can't stay where I am...all i do is bring pain and stress to my family..but none of the options of "getting help" seem feasible or realistic to think they'd work out...i know i'm just venting tons and going in circles...just please pray for me? and for the spiritual wellbeing of my family, as they are affected too.

Thanks