Scared

[beckybooiloveu]

I used to hurt myself really badly... but then i kinda gainded abit of control and got better and hurt myself less and less until i stopped... i hadnt hurt myself for about a month...
But i hurt myself last ngiht... and im scared now because i cant stop hurting myself now... like since the last i have hurt myself a few more times... im scared... i dont want to go back to it... but i cant seem to stop myself...

 

[mamalonglegs]

Hello:
The best thing you can do to get a grip on your situation is to start journaling. Ask yourself two questions and answer them honestly and you will be able to help yourself begin to stop.
Ask what emotions or feelings your are having before you S.I.? (Make a list of each one you can think of and then link them to where it is comeing from.) The second question is, What are you trying to communicate with your S.I.? (imagine yourself speaking to the safest person in the world and telling that person exactly with all honesty what you would be saying with words instead of S.I. about what is happening in your life at the moment you have a strong impulse to S.I.) Journal everytime you begin to have an urge or impulse to harm yourself and answer these questions. Do not stop writing until the urges or impulses go away.
I guarantee that this will help you find out what is behind the S.I. and give you ideas about what you need to do in order to stop. mamalonglegs

 

[Soulwings]

Bec, sweetie, you've got to tell someone. Let them know that you aren't safe by yourself. If you really want to get better then you've got to open up a little and let others in on your struggles. You can do it online - you can do it in person. It'll be hard but it'll be worth it - you said yourself that you don't want to go back to self injury. Be honest with your psych and your parents.

Well done, though, on not harming for a month. That's great, gorgeous. Consider this a slip up - but don't let that be a reason to not let others close to you know about it. Don't hide it from everyone. They need to know that you aren't safe. But you can pick yourself up again and keep going. A month is awesome. Aim for two months now. With others' help, you won't slide back into continuous self injury.

 

[beckybooiloveu]

Hello:
The best thing you can do to get a grip on your situation is to start journaling. Ask yourself two questions and answer them honestly and you will be able to help yourself begin to stop.
Ask what emotions or feelings your are having before you S.I.? (Make a list of each one you can think of and then link them to where it is comeing from.) The second question is, What are you trying to communicate with your S.I.? (imagine yourself speaking to the safest person in the world and telling that person exactly with all honesty what you would be saying with words instead of S.I. about what is happening in your life at the moment you have a strong impulse to S.I.) Journal everytime you begin to have an urge or impulse to harm yourself and answer these questions. Do not stop writing until the urges or impulses go away.
I guarantee that this will help you find out what is behind the S.I. and give you ideas about what you need to do in order to stop. mamalonglegs

Thanks very much for that advice... it sounds like a really good idea... the only thing im scared about with writing stuff down is that someone will read it...
also... last time i wrote stuff down, i read over it to try and make me understand my feelings better and it made me want to hurt myself even more...

Bec, sweetie, you've got to tell someone. Let them know that you aren't safe by yourself. If you really want to get better then you've got to open up a little and let others in on your struggles. You can do it online - you can do it in person. It'll be hard but it'll be worth it - you said yourself that you don't want to go back to self injury. Be honest with your psych and your parents.

Well done, though, on not harming for a month. That's great, gorgeous. Consider this a slip up - but don't let that be a reason to not let others close to you know about it. Don't hide it from everyone. They need to know that you aren't safe. But you can pick yourself up again and keep going. A month is awesome. Aim for two months now. With others' help, you won't slide back into continuous self injury.

I cant let others know because this is my last term of school ever... and i want to finish it... if i let anyone know... chances are they will put me in some treatment programme and i dont have time for it... and also they will probs take me out of school... i jsut really want to finish school this yr with all my friends so i really cant tell anyone because that would jeoprodise it...

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

I cant let others know because this is my last term of school ever... and i want to finish it... if i let anyone know... chances are they will put me in some treatment programme and i dont have time for it... and also they will probs take me out of school... i jsut really want to finish school this yr with all my friends so i really cant tell anyone because that would jeoprodise it...

Hun, they're less likely to take you out of school if they know you're getting the help you need and deserve. Sis, your life is important and you need to have time for it . SI is really serious no matter how often you do it Hun and you need to talk to someone about it.

You know I'm always here for you sis, no matter what .

 

[beckybooiloveu]

I think they would take me out of school because everyone thinks it is the stress of school that makes me do it... but i dont think it is... im not sure wat it is... but i really dont think it is school... school kinda distracts me... i dunno how to explain it... but i love yoU!

 

[mamalonglegs]

Have you tried journaling in the way I pm'ed you yet?
Also if school is not the problem is it not then obvious where the problem is?
You need to talk to someone about it then. Is there a Guidance Counselor at your school. You don't have to talk about the a S.I. with her/him but what is bothering you certainly would be a good step. Or as what was already suggested. We are here honey. Our hearts are open, our prayers are with you. We are willing to support you in the way you need.
Talk to us.
mamalonglegs