Save your family?

[Happy Felix]

Hi all,

I have a difficult question, maybe. I believe there is a heaven and a hell because in the gospels Jesus tells us so. I am the only believer in my family and in the past I almost killed our marriage trying to convert my wife. Our marriage was saved but my family was not. I try to live an exemplary life but no-one will start to believe. How do you guys deal with such a thing?

 

[“Paisios”]

Hi all,

I have a difficult question, maybe. I believe there is a heaven and a hell because in the gospels Jesus tells us so. I am the only believer in my family and in the past I almost killed our marriage trying to convert my wife. Our marriage was saved but my family was not. I try to live an exemplary life but no-one will start to believe. How do you guys deal with such a thing?

At one point I was overzealous in my attempts to influence my family, and I did nothing but harm to my relationships with them because of it. Now I simply try to live the best Christian life I can, and hope to lead by example (not that I succeed even in that, but I try). I don’t deny my faith, but I no longer attempt to proselytize, nor do I argue with them about faith issues.

 

[bèlla]

Were you saved when you married? I'm aware of several resources. Lynn Donovan has a great book and website on this subject. The book is called Winning Him Without Words and here's the site. She also provides resources for men.

I've also read:

When He Doesn't Believe - Nancy Kennedy
Between Two Loves - Nancy Kennedy
Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch in Marriage - Lee Strobel
How to Be a Happy Wife of an Unsaved Husband - Linda Davis

I labored in prayer for someone for many years and I was not his partner or his wife. We considered one another in the past before I found my way back to God. This is very difficult to walk out but the thing I learned from that experience is the power of love and kindness. I didn't introduce conversations about God or try to sway his views. That wasn't how I came back to the Lord and twisting his arm was never an option.

My responsibility was to pray and exhibit Christ in my countenance. I left the rest to the Holy Spirit. He knows when we're ready and well-meaning people often cause more harm than good. You'll do more to win them to faith through love and an exemplary character than any sermon or negative remark. They'll remember them all.

If she shares a problem with you be sensitive and tell her you'll pray on her behalf. And leave it there. I've seen the other side of this through believers and many have unrealistic expectations about how life would be if their partner shared their faith. It's worse with evangelicals. That doesn't mean you'd have bible studies or pray together or do a lot of the activities that some do. We express our relationship with the Lord personally.

Go back to the place where you met the Lord. Find that in your mind and remember your wretchedness and consider the lovingkindness you received. And give it liberally to them. That is often the problem. Many are too removed from that place to recall what it was like to walk in darkness.

Love covers.

 

[archer75]

Hi all,

I have a difficult question, maybe. I believe there is a heaven and a hell because in the gospels Jesus tells us so. I am the only believer in my family and in the past I almost killed our marriage trying to convert my wife. Our marriage was saved but my family was not. I try to live an exemplary life but no-one will start to believe. How do you guys deal with such a thing?

How do you mean your marriage was saved but your family was not?

 

[eleos1954]

Hi all,

I have a difficult question, maybe. I believe there is a heaven and a hell because in the gospels Jesus tells us so. I am the only believer in my family and in the past I almost killed our marriage trying to convert my wife. Our marriage was saved but my family was not. I try to live an exemplary life but no-one will start to believe. How do you guys deal with such a thing?

It's difficult, especially where family members are concerned. Personally, I've come to this ... I study Gods Word and with His help grow in my walk with Him. At times, there will be an opening here and there whereas a person (family or not) will ask me about God in one way or another. At those times, I share what I have come to know through Gods Word and my experience(s) with Him, how He helps Me etc.

Prayer for them is very important as well.

It's important to know what you believe and why you believe it and be ready to share this with anyone at any time.

Beyond all that and regardless of one being receptive or not .... treat all with kindness.

In regard to choosing Jesus ... or not ... God respects everyone's choices even though He knows many will not choose Him and this hurts Him as well ...

Genesis 6:6

The LORD was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart.

How does one deal with it? By always remaining hopeful ;o) while also acknowledging each have a choice and understanding it is their responsibility to make the choice.

Kindness and respect choices.

God Bless.

 

[Loyce KG]

WAIT. Most times when we believe God for something, we want an immediate Yes or No answer. There are instances God will answer that way and I have learnt that the majority of times, God wants us to wait. For me, the salvation of the people i love has been one of them. While some came to believe in Christ, others didn't. I had to wait for God's appointed time (in 10years)to see my brother who was a former gang-leader commit his life to Christ. He is forever changed.
Prayer is not to arm-twist God to do things on our timing. Prayer helps illuminate the will of God so we can trust Him more.

Even Jesus also had brothers who didn't believe in Him( John 7:1-5) and even said He was out of His mind. If a perfect witnesss like Jesus had family that didn't believe in the gospel, how about we?
Scripture doesn't always promise us unity of family when we come to Christ. On the contrary, division sometimes is promised by our Lord between families (Matthew 10:34-39). The gospel is foolishness to the world but to us, wisdom. If it is God's will to save your family members, He will. If they die without Christ, we still thank God for His grace.

Be encouraged that your prayers are not in vain.Don’t give up praying for unbelieving family members. Don’t take their resistance as the final word. They may yet believe. Live a Holy life for it sets an example for the non-believer, love them, be kind and wait on the Lord!

 

[New Birth]

I know it is frustrating but hang in there and continue to live for God.
Never give in to pressure that tries to cause you to go against your convictions. You standing against sin will be a testimony to your devotion to God. Whatever you do, dont let bitterness and anger grab a hold of you because of others not believing. Maybe a good strategy "in case you haven't yet tried it" how about when your in bed, every night begin to read your bible to yourself and start giving small pieces of information to your wife about what it says. Such as "hey honey did you know In the Old test Isaiah 53 tells of the suffering of Jesus hundreds of years earlier"? Then read it to her its only 12 verses. Its actually very moving and maybe she can get a glimpse of what Jesus has done for her.

 

[Happy Felix]

How do you mean your marriage was saved but your family was not?

I mean we managed to stay together in love. The other saving is spiritual, for Heaven. That saving did not yet take place in my family, as far as I can tell. But I know so little... I do not try to convince them in any way. Perhaps I should pray more. Only God can do it.

 

[Happy Felix]

At one point I was overzealous in my attempts to influence my family, and I did nothing but harm to my relationships with them because of it. Now I simply try to live the best Christian life I can, and hope to lead by example (not that I succeed even in that, but I try). I don’t deny my faith, but I no longer attempt to proselytize, nor do I argue with them about faith issues.

Thank you. You do what I like myself to do.

 

[Happy Felix]

I know it is frustrating but hang in there and continue to live for God.
Never give in to pressure that tries to cause you to go against your convictions. You standing against sin will be a testimony to your devotion to God. Whatever you do, dont let bitterness and anger grab a hold of you because of others not believing. Maybe a good strategy "in case you haven't yet tried it" how about when your in bed, every night begin to read your bible to yourself and start giving small pieces of information to your wife about what it says. Such as "hey honey did you know In the Old test Isaiah 53 tells of the suffering of Jesus hundreds of years earlier"? Then read it to her its only 12 verses. Its actually very moving and maybe she can get a glimpse of what Jesus has done for her.

Thanks for your kind words and trying to help me.

 

[Happy Felix]

Thank you all. I see better now what I can do and cannot do

 

[bèlla]

I mean we managed to stay together in love. The other saving is spiritual, for Heaven. That saving did not yet take place in my family, as far as I can tell. But I know so little... I do not try to convince them in any way. Perhaps I should pray more. Only God can do it.

I've shared some resources for you. Sometimes hearing another person's story helps and there is a community on the website I mentioned. I'd also encourage you to add yourselves to prayer lists. Some walls require a measuring of hammering by prayer before you can bring them down. It depends on the impediments to their belief.

If you do a Google search for this term online prayer request you'll get a list of options. Write your prayer in a document and copy and paste it. Choose a group of ministries and send one every month and don't stop until the situation is resolved.

There was time when our church's prayer list was comprised with so many people I knew I'd laugh when the bulletin went live. Nevertheless, I kept going and I've seen changes. However, the biggest ministry to my loved ones has been my walk with Christ. Watching the changes in my life, my healing, and seeing His favor in so many areas has made a difference.

You are a walking testimony in more ways than you'd imagine. Allow others to come alongside you in your struggle. Some have a burden for the unsaved and they can pray for the issue like no one else. My friend said I was torturing him. But I wasn't. It was the prayers doing their job in the heavenly realm that disturbed his spirit. ;-)

 

[KyleSpringer]

Love them to life.

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5:25-26‬ ‭

Let them see Christ in you and speak the Word over them as the Holy Spirit leads you. God will be with you on leading them, and don’t beat yourself up when you don’t see results. Jeremiah preached 40 years with not a single convert. I pray your harvest comes much sooner! Peace and Blessings from our Lord Jesus Christ.