Same Gendered Threads

[trubeliever89]

I've been looking over in this "serious relationships" part of the courting couples thing. I've noticed a lot of VERY intimate things being disclosed and very delicate topics being addressed by members of both genders.

What I really want to encourage all guys and girls out there to do is to keep delicate topics or questions about your sexual relationship with your boyfriend or girlfried in the "gals only" or "guys only". Obviously you are comfortable with letting the other gender know about it, but I believe that conversations like that are best kept with same gendered brothers or same gendered sisters in the Lord, who can better relate.

There are "guys" and "girls" only folders/threads for a reason and I'd really like to encourage you to take advantage of those.

 

[K9_Trainer]

I'm sure they know that option is available to them.

However, quite often the opinion of a member of the opposite sex is very insightful and valuable when it comes to subjects like that. As long as everybody here is being mature about it and respectful of the original poster, I don't really see a problem with it.

 

[quitespirit]

I agree with you. I think sexually charged conversation (even of a more tame nature) can put a stumbling block in the way of our brothers and sisters. The bible says when we sin against our brother in this way we sin against Christ (1 Corinthians 8:12). Not such light hearted talk there...

Seems strange that there is anything "VERY intimate" (with the acception of perhaps emotional intimacy)that merits discussion in a folder for unwed Christians, LTR or not.

Anyhow...

 

[K9_Trainer]

It's not just a matter of not putting a stumbling block in front of your brothers and sisters.......It's also a matter of your brothers and sisters controlling their own thoughts and avoiding temtation. If the topic pertains to sex, don't open it if you know can't handle it and it will cause you to sin. That's still an option, just as it's an option for men to go in the women's forum and vice versa.

Honestly though, if your in a relationship and you can't handle an honest question or serious discussion on sex, then that makes me wonder if you are even prepared for a serious relationship. It's an important and serious topic that will inevitable come up and it needs to be discussed.

 

[quitespirit]

It's not just a matter of not putting a stumbling block in front of your brothers and sisters.......It's also a matter of your brothers and sisters controlling their own thoughts and avoiding temtation. If the topic pertains to sex, don't open it if you know can't handle it and it will cause you to sin. That's still an option, just as it's an option for men to go in the women's forum and vice versa.

Honestly though, if your in a relationship and you can't handle an honest question or serious discussion on sex, then that makes me wonder if you are even prepared for a serious relationship. It's an important and serious topic that will inevitable come up and it needs to be discussed.

I agree we have to look out for our weakness, and avoid sensitive subjects if needed. I also agree in a serious relationship (approaching engagement perhaps or later) that there is a time to talk about sexual issues.

There shouldn't have to be a heck of a lot of that talk unless the couple is pushing boundaries though, IMO. And if a couple abstains til marriage as the bible commands- what topics need in depth discussion ahead of time and specifically between the two?

Some questions or concerns may be best discussed with a marriage counselor or trusted same gendered brother or sister in Christ. There is plenty of time after marriage to talk sex. I don't think any honeymoons have suffered from lack of sexual discussion ahead of time!

The original post- I believe- isn't about having the maturity to openly discuss sex 'publically' but the wisdom of keeping discussion of 'private matters' private.

Anywho, goodnight

 

[dawnsday]

just because some people get all worked over it doesn't mean the rest do...what is the deal with the "seperation of genders" thing. can men and women not communicate about personal or intimate details...without turning perverted about it?

 

[miss_klara]

It's not just a matter of not putting a stumbling block in front of your brothers and sisters.......It's also a matter of your brothers and sisters controlling their own thoughts and avoiding temtation. If the topic pertains to sex, don't open it if you know can't handle it and it will cause you to sin. That's still an option, just as it's an option for men to go in the women's forum and vice versa.

Honestly though, if your in a relationship and you can't handle an honest question or serious discussion on sex, then that makes me wonder if you are even prepared for a serious relationship. It's an important and serious topic that will inevitable come up and it needs to be discussed.

Technically, sexual-related issues once upon a time were meant to be discrete; between the 2 people concerned and no one else. So while I personally am not offended by these kinds of topics, I can understand why people would rather not see this kinda stuff at CF.
When you open a thread entitled "Help me please" or something to that effect, it could be related to one of a dozen things, including sex - so it's difficult to avoid sexual topics sometimes.

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

It's not just a matter of not putting a stumbling block in front of your brothers and sisters.......It's also a matter of your brothers and sisters controlling their own thoughts and avoiding temtation. If the topic pertains to sex, don't open it if you know can't handle it and it will cause you to sin. That's still an option, just as it's an option for men to go in the women's forum and vice versa.

Honestly though, if your in a relationship and you can't handle an honest question or serious discussion on sex, then that makes me wonder if you are even prepared for a serious relationship. It's an important and serious topic that will inevitable come up and it needs to be discussed.

Exactly

No one is forcing you to read this threads, if it does pose an issue for you then don't open it, problem solved

 

[explodingboy]

I would rather have the input of a different gender when it comes to a relationship issue. It's not very easy to get hold of a womens input offline simply because there are very few females in my circle of friends I would be comfortable discussing such issues with.

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

It's not just a matter of not putting a stumbling block in front of your brothers and sisters.......It's also a matter of your brothers and sisters controlling their own thoughts and avoiding temtation. If the topic pertains to sex, don't open it if you know can't handle it and it will cause you to sin. That's still an option, just as it's an option for men to go in the women's forum and vice versa.

Honestly though, if your in a relationship and you can't handle an honest question or serious discussion on sex, then that makes me wonder if you are even prepared for a serious relationship. It's an important and serious topic that will inevitable come up and it needs to be discussed.

I agree.

 

[SiyoNqoba]

There is plenty of time after marriage to talk sex. I don't think any honeymoons have suffered from lack of sexual discussion ahead of time!

I respectfully disagree

The newlywed couples I know who talked about sex and their wedding night before they were married felt much more comfortable and much less nervous when it came to the actual act then those who didn't.

It's a healthy, beautiful part of life, and should be treated as such.

 

[seashale76]

The title of this thread represents a linguistic pet peeve of mine. You titled it, Same Gendered Threads, which is completely incorrect. The word you're looking for is SEX. In the world of when to use the words sex vs. gender, it is important to note that sex (not referring to intercourse) refers to male or female. Gender is a societal construct of what being male or female means; in other words, how we perceive masculinity or femininity within our cultures.

This happens to be one of those things that drives me up a wall, and way too many people make this mistake.