S.o.s.

[JacobEsau]

S.o.s. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS THREAD WHOEVER YOU ARE! How can the Holy Ghost dwell in a sinner? I repent everyday but repeat the same sin the very next day sometimes the same day or hour. The sin is drug use. I am addicted to methadone i get from a clinic and since i have gone down 60 mg on my daily dose within the last year, my cravings have returned and I have been using some heroin . I am ashamed. I am so scared that I am a reprobate and am a sinner sowing calamity.My heart and spirit are so heavy. Yeshua is my only hope but I dont obey His Fathers Holy Commandments. I see drugs as idolatry and a sort of emotional sorcery, or pharmakaiea. No matter how hard i try to will myself away from it , my own will returns to it like a dog returning to its vomit. I am selfishly living my life saying I love Abba Father and I love Yeshua, but i seem to love following my destruction more. I pray with tears and pining and moaning and yearning and shame. I pray knowing I am completely unworthy of His salvation or redemption, I confess my sins. I verbally repent but return to the sin hating myself every moment. I fear Abba Father. I fear His judgement greatly.Hell terrifies me evidently not enough because i am the double hearted kind James and King David warned about. I am Capricorn. Satans sign. This sickens and mortifies me. Child of satan /tribe of Benjamin . I just wonder if my name has been blotted out from the Book of life already. Please pray for my eternal soul!

 

[Johnnz]

You may well need a time in rehabilitation. Is that a possibility?

John
NZ

 

[Jahleel]

Hi JacobEsau
Don`t be to hard on yourself, remember you are human and humans have needs/temptations.Pray to god,and ask him to help you come off the drugs, and just do it a bit at a time.
Even jesus got abit weak,the night he was captured,so don`t feel to bad.Like Johnnz said try and get rehab,maybe see your doctor and tell her/him (though i`d be careful about the whole letting jesus down thing as the dr might discriminate based on it) that you really want to come of the drugs.

Best of luck,
God Bless.

 

[SharonL]

God does not erase our names from the Lamb's Book of Life every time we sin - if he did that is all he would get done.

When you repent you stand before God washed in the Blood of Jesus - your sins in the Lake of Forgetfullness. God knows our hearts. You are weak because of the addiction. Please try to get help - this is bigger than you are.It depends on how addicted you are and what hold it has on you. If you realize you can't break it on your own, please seek help. You are not out of God's Grace - he knows your heart and your battle. So stop worrying about God erasing your name from the Lamb's Book of Life and seek help. We all sin, but when repented God's Grace will carry us through. Get some serious help. Your body is a Temple of God and you don't want to harm that. So look at it like that - you wouldn't think of doing drugs in a Temple or Church - We are the Church and YOU are the Temple of God.

 

[If Not For Grace]

What you are is an addict.

"Heroin-she is a seductive mistress" (Keith Richards, Rolling Stone)

This is a complex addiction because it (at its worst) has at least 3 levels

1. Physical Addiction
2. Mental Addiction
3. Addiction to the process of Injection (Needle) {If you ain't there yet , you will be w/o recovery}

Addiction is PROGRESSIVE-it never gets better on its own. For most people it is not a battle they win on their own. You need your own committment, support from other humans and most importantly God (That is why "I" can't seem to do anything about it).

It usually takes more than one attempt to get off Heroin. Took Keith several times, but to his credit he has been clean for over 30 years ("and people still think I'm a junkie") "it casts a long shadow" he says in his biography.

Do not delay-go at once and get help-it's out there, then come over and see us in the recovery threads as well, some of us are counslers, MH professionals and ex-users or people w/realatives who are. Do not try this alone, especailly since you don't have to.

 

[RuthD]

Addiction is an illness and in my opinion not a sin. Can you go to a rehab hospital for a good long time? It is often necessary to kick this awful addiction. I am praying for your healing.

 

[JacobEsau]

Hi JacobEsau
Don`t be to hard on yourself, remember you are human and humans have needs/temptations.Pray to god,and ask him to help you come off the drugs, and just do it a bit at a time.
Even jesus got abit weak,the night he was captured,so don`t feel to bad.Like Johnnz said try and get rehab,maybe see your doctor and tell her/him (though i`d be careful about the whole letting jesus down thing as the dr might discriminate based on it) that you really want to come of the drugs.

Best of luck,
God Bless.

Thank You Jahleel

 

[JacobEsau]

Addiction is an illness and in my opinion not a sin. Can you go to a rehab hospital for a good long time? It is often necessary to kick this awful addiction. I am praying for your healing.

Hello Ruth Thankyou for your reply. Adiction is an illness , but not a sin? Im not sure i disagree with that , but im not sure i agree fully either. alchoholism is an illness but the Bible says it is a mocker of men.
I would love to go to rehab, for a long spell but i dont have the money or insurance unfortuneately

 

[Criada]

Are there any local groups you could go to for support?
I don't know where you are, but Narcotics Anonymous have meetings in most areas. You could look up your location on this site: NA Meeting Locator.

You are in my prayers, brother.