Rules

[BeautyForAshes]

I was just reading the "Things Kept 'Til Marriage Thread" in the singles forum....http://www.christianforums.com/t1147408-things-that-are-kept-til-marriage.html

I thought it was VERY interesting that many posters had "rules" for each step - dating - courtship - engagement - marriage. I'm not even talking about sex because its a given that that should be saved until marriage, but rules concerning things such as saving their first kiss until the wedding day, saying "I love you" on the day you propose, not sitting together frequently, etc.

Anyway, don't get me wrong, I believe in purity and a person knowing their bounderies (especially in terms of temptation) but could we sometimes be sabatoging our efforts by having so many rules or expectations? Are we setting ourselves up for disappointment as well?

Let me know what you think?

 

[Stanfi]

This is what I think. I hear people all the time say "My dating rules are this, this and this". When I get married "I want to live in this house, it is to be this color, and so on"....

Peoople seem to forget that when you get involved with someone else that they might have their own ideas about things. Perhaps a little bit of compromising is in order.

I have a term for people who have all these rule and ideas, and aren't considerate of what others want.. "High Maintenace"

 

[the_man]

I think you will find that those that have the most rules haven't really dated at all.

 

[Spoilt Victorian Child]

I think you will find that those that have the most rules haven't really dated at all.

I agree. It's not practical.

 

[Talie]

and what's wrong with not having dated a whole lot? hmmm?

 

[HoosierCanuck]

and what's wrong with not having dated a whole lot? hmmm?

Not a thing! Dating is overrated.

 

[Tumbleweed64]

and what's wrong with not having dated a whole lot? hmmm?

It sure is! BTW Talie I luv your kitty

 

[Talie]

thanks Tumbleweed! his personality is as cute as his looks

 

[mannysee]

yes, it is a lovely cat. However, whenever i see your pic of him and his tail, it looks like someone has grabbed his tail with two hands like it is a stick and gone 'snap', 'snap'. ! hopefully, i am wrong about this.

 

[Talie]

haha, he's just quite fluffy and his tail was a bit fluffed at the time i assure you there was no grabbing involved

 

[OhhJim]

I think you will find that those that have the most rules haven't really dated at all.

I agree.


And, don't forget OhhJim's 1st rule of Forums: If you mention something, you must think there's something wrong with it!!

 

[Tumbleweed64]

And why does dating and relationships have to have "rules"

 

[HoosierCanuck]

And why does dating and relationships have to have "rules"

another form of legalism...sorta...

 

[BeautyForAshes]

And, don't forget OhhJim's 1st rule of Forums: If you mention something, you must think there's something wrong with it!!

point taken.

 

[Talie]

anyone with half a brain can see that that was a negative post directed towards people who haven't dated much

 

[OhhJim]

anyone with half a brain can see that that was a negative post directed towards people who haven't dated much

But those of us with a whole brain recognize that it may have merely been a neutral observation! Jesus didn't date much, hey?

 

[the_man]

and what's wrong with not having dated a whole lot? hmmm?

Nothing. But that is missing the point. How can you make up a bunch of dance moves if you haved danced before?

 

[Talie]

to be blunt you can decide it's wrong to murder without having to murder to do it

 

[butterfly33]

i dont see anything wrong with kissing/holding hands/ long hugs before engagement or marriage. is this wrong?

 

[the_man]

to be blunt you can decide it's wrong to murder without having to murder to do it

Right, but again that wasn't the point. We are not talking about deciding to date (or dance). We are talking about making rules about what you would do when you date (or dance) without having ever danced (or dated) before.

So to your "blunt" example, it would be making rules for how you would murder without having murdered anyone before. Those that have murdered would probably have a good laugh at your list