Romance

antiarte · May 3, 2006

Llauralin said:
I hope you're not serious... 'M pretty sure that saying money is more important than any human, male or female, is pretty unchristian... There are verses about it.

I didn't mean to say money was more important than people. It is more important than a romantic relationship, even more so if you're a high school drop out working for minimum wage. And I don't think it says in the Bible that "you shall get married". It's up to us. So, to hell with romance and girls.

SoC · May 3, 2006

Jedi said:
Though I don't see myself in any rush to get into some relationship, I still wonder about all the right moves to playing the romance game. Think of the movie "Hitch" and you get the picture. You have to play it just right if you want that girl you care for to not think you're just a total goof. Every conversation & interaction balances on the edge of a knife - stray but a little and you will fail. You can't be too obvious, you can't be too subtle. You can't be too close, you can't be too far. You have to know all the right things to say and God help you if there's a lull in the conversation. Even if you don't have everything together, you must at least appear that you do.

Hitch was right. You can't just go up to a girl and say, "Hey, you know what? I like you." You have to play this complicated romance game and you have to play it well. I can only hope and pray that if and when the time comes, I'm at least proficient at playing this game of romance.

Sad. Sorry you feel that way.

Any girl you find that you have to even appear to have everything together for is probably too shallow to worry about. Really. The girls you need to look for are the ones that know you won't have it all together and will still care about you - maybe even help you get things together.

The whole romance game (as defined in Hitch, your example) is a farce. Don't play it. It only ends up hurting people.

symphonyb · May 3, 2006

Mirelys said:
Personally, I really dislike social games. They feel manipulative to me, probably because I don't understand them and I never know what's going on

KUDOS! Rightly said.

CaliforniaJosiah · May 3, 2006

While I agree, just a bit, with Tim Allen that guys often don't "get it" and there may have been times when I totally missed it (evidently because I wasn't looking for it - it wasn't mutual), when I've been attracted to a girl - and it's mutual - it's obvious. Nothing NEEDED to get said.

- Josiah

HotToast · May 4, 2006

Katomi said:
Instead.. be direct about it, AND be romantic. They aren't mutually exclusive you know. But don't play any "games"

~ ~

I could't agree more, thats why I didn't vote in the pole.

CapitalLancer · May 4, 2006

Just tell me for crying out loud.

berith · May 4, 2006

gotta be honest man, gotta be honest!

fieldmouse3 · May 4, 2006

I don't like games...please just be honest! That's not to say a guy I barely know should come up to me and tell me he likes me. I appreciate it if a guy tries to get to know me first, in a sincere manner. I don't consider that playing games.

Snowy · May 5, 2006

I would rather have someone just tell me they like me

seamonster · May 5, 2006

I'm married now, but I ALWAYS preferred being told straight up that someone liked me, rather than having to guess what their intentions/thoughts were all of the time.

Snowy · May 5, 2006

antiarte said:
I didn't mean to say money was more important than people. It is more important than a romantic relationship, even more so if you're a high school drop out working for minimum wage. And I don't think it says in the Bible that "you shall get married". It's up to us. So, to hell with romance and girls.

So your basically saying that you would rather marry a woman who has lots of money and not be in love with her?

Snowy · May 5, 2006

On another note, I have been reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. I recommend it to everyone. From what I have gotten from reading the first few chapters is why should you date anyone if your not ready for a marriage commitment? You cheat yourself and the person your dating.

Mirelys · May 5, 2006

Snowy said:
On another note, I have been reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. I recommend it to everyone. From what I have gotten from reading the first few chapters is why should you date anyone if your not ready for a marriage commitment? You cheat yourself and the person your dating.

I guess it depends on how you define dating. What some people call dating, I call hanging out with friends. That's probably why my guy friends have often been confused about me

JourneyRain · May 5, 2006

I am 26 years old and I am tired of games. If a man my age (or older) wants to play a game involving "romance" then he needs to grow up quickly. I am sorry to be so harsh but I am at that age where I am ready for long term commitment and don't want to be wasting time trying to figure out if someone means this or means that. I overanalyze everything as it is so I don't need a man playing additional games.

I'm straight up honest. If I like a man, he'll know. If I don't, well he'll know that too.

Jedi · May 5, 2006

JourneyRain said:
I'm straight up honest. If I like a man, he'll know. If I don't, well he'll know that too.

Haha, man, that sounds just too good to be true. You mean, I wouldn't have to beat around the bush? You would ACTUALLY let me know if you liked me (instead of me just having to guess and overanalyze everything)? Truly, simplicity is paradise.

batmatt · May 5, 2006

I would prefer to be told directly if a girl liked me, and since I don't know how to "play the game" I told the girl I like flat out that I liked her.

antiarte · May 5, 2006

Snowy said:
So your basically saying that you would rather marry a woman who has lots of money and not be in love with her?

Right now, at this moment in my life, yes.

JourneyRain · May 5, 2006

Jedi said:
Haha, man, that sounds just too good to be true. You mean, I wouldn't have to beat around the bush? You would ACTUALLY let me know if you liked me (instead of me just having to guess and overanalyze everything)? Truly, simplicity is paradise.

Hey, I've told guys I was not interested in them flat out. It is not my fault they didn't listen. I will flat out say I do not see us together, lets be friends or I am NOT interested. I don't play games. I have been the subject of some cruel games before and them just some immature men lately so I am done with them.

swingnscream · May 5, 2006

There's not a lot about "romance" that isn't a game. I mean, just the phrase of "romancing" someone or being romanced certian applies stradgey, style, technique, and planning. That's not to say it's evil or something totally offbeat like that, heck some ppl have a "love of the game", for some it's personal, but yeah there's a lot of ppl who let just for the sake of scores & status and fame, but that's not everything that any game is about. The cheering, the winning, the losing, the trying, working hard, getting in shape, the pain, the joy, ...it's all part of the game. Can't hate that.

I could be the only chick in these forums that feels/thinks this way, but if some guy comes up to me and just all of suddens says he likes me I'm going to be looking at him like there's something really wrong with him or he's just creepy. But if a guy takes interest in the things I'm interested in, hangs out with me, and basically does the starting romancing and then says "hey I really like you" I'm going to be way more open to hear it.
Now I could just be crazy or old school like that, but that's definitely my opinion, and since I haven't heard anybody else pipe up about that.. I thought I'd throw it out there.

Jedi · May 5, 2006

antiarte said:
Right now, at this moment in my life, yes.

Heh, wow - that's not the sort of thing people typically admit. Personally, I could never see how money could be so important. A man only needs so much wealth - the rest is just for showing off.

JourneyRain said:
I have been the subject of some cruel games before and them just some immature men lately so I am done with them.

I'm sorry to hear about such harsh experiences in your past. And unfortunately, some of us guys can be overly optimistic because of the existance of romance games, thinking things like "Okay, so when she says, 'no,' does she really mean 'no' or would she say 'yes' if I just tried a little harder?" I've been there, done that, learned my lesson. If a girl says she's not interested, she's not interested. If it turns out she really meant something else, I'm hoping she'll let me know.

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