roles

[looksgood]

What would you say the role is for a husband, and what role does a wife have? I mean yes the husband is the head and all, but what exactly does that mean in terms of practise? Your thoughts please?

 

[Katydid]

My personal beliefs are some what different from what is practical for many women and my personal are not all based on Biblical beliefs, though they are grounded in them. I don't know if that makes sense. Basically, I believe all the biblical, and then have personal, so I will start with the biblical.

Biblically, we are to submit to our husbands. This doesn't mean that if he asks for a coke you run and get it for him immediately. This doesn't mean he can beat you if you don't do everything he asks. It means that when there is an impass and you have both prayed for guidance, and he has listened to your views, then he has the final word.

Biblically, men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. This doesn't mean that he is to be walked on. This doesn't mean that the wife gets everything she wants regardless of consequences. This means that when there is an impass and you have both prayed for guidance that he listens to your views and makes a decision based on the best interests of all involved.

In all honesty, men have the harder job. If they just go with the flow and allow you to lead and the family ends up in trouble (not necessarily because you aren't a good leader, just circumstances end up there) he is responsible. Women have a difficult time handing over control, and many men have trouble taking control, but biblically, this is the model we are given. In a sense, it is a system of checks and balances. If the husband loves the wife as Christ loved the church, then he is going to want to give her what she wants. If the woman submits to the leadership of the man, than he is going to want to give her what she wants.

OK, now my personal beliefs.

I believe that a man should be responsible for providing for the family. I believe that a woman should work if she wants until she has children. I believe that once the woman stays home with the children that the household should be her domain. Basically, no fighting over bedtime for the kids, the wife has to deal with them all day long and be responsible for them. So if she says bedtime is at 8 then the husband shouldn't ignore that and keep the kids up till 10. With that said, we still must submit, so if the husband has a reasonable argument for changing the rules, then he should be heard. But, in this case, he should divert to her best judgement. I believe the man should be supported in his job. He should feel like his contributions are appreciated. He should be allowed to participate in parenting the children. I know this sounds strange, but I have seen many women who seem jealous when the father actually takes a role in parenting. I think that the chores should be split equally if both people are working outside the home. I think that once the woman stays home full time that this should mainly be her responsibility. (If the husband loves the wife as Christ loves the church, he will be more than willing to help out, but should not be made to feel that this is his responsibility).

I know, I am backwards and old fashioned, but this is how my marriage works and we are very happy. I hope this helps a bit.

 

[Zoomer]

I really think the roles are subjective, as what works for one family may not work for another. Personally, my husband has the role of the "bread winner". The majority of his responsibility is to provide for our family. My major responsiblity is to take care of the household (cleaning, bills, laundry etc.) and children. However, I also work full time outside of the home, and that is my duty in the evenings. If I am not finished with the household chores they become my husband's responsiblity. He has no problem pitching in and actually likes cooking . He also takes care of the kids in the evenings while I am at work. We both make decisions together, if we cannot agree, we usually present both sides and compromise. My husband will not procede with a decision if I do not agree with him. We do not have the traditional heirarchy, but it works for us.

 

[ptgd1st]

I sit and relax and the woman is in the kitchen. Just kidding, hey stop throwing things at me.

Realistically, roles are defined by each individual marriage. As said above, what works for one couple does not work for the other. I believe in a 100%-100% split of the workload. Meaning aside from the husband being the main provider, everything at home should shared by both people. Not, you do the dishes and ill clean the garage. Or you do the bathroom and ill fold the clothes. I believe that either you can do it all together or you do it as it needs to be done. Whether it is the wife or the husband that does it.

 

[MERCY@GRACE]

My personal beliefs are some what different from what is practical for many women and my personal are not all based on Biblical beliefs, though they are grounded in them. I don't know if that makes sense. Basically, I believe all the biblical, and then have personal, so I will start with the biblical.

Biblically, we are to submit to our husbands. This doesn't mean that if he asks for a coke you run and get it for him immediately. This doesn't mean he can beat you if you don't do everything he asks. It means that when there is an impass and you have both prayed for guidance, and he has listened to your views, then he has the final word.

Biblically, men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. This doesn't mean that he is to be walked on. This doesn't mean that the wife gets everything she wants regardless of consequences. This means that when there is an impass and you have both prayed for guidance that he listens to your views and makes a decision based on the best interests of all involved.

In all honesty, men have the harder job. If they just go with the flow and allow you to lead and the family ends up in trouble (not necessarily because you aren't a good leader, just circumstances end up there) he is responsible. Women have a difficult time handing over control, and many men have trouble taking control, but biblically, this is the model we are given. In a sense, it is a system of checks and balances. If the husband loves the wife as Christ loved the church, then he is going to want to give her what she wants. If the woman submits to the leadership of the man, than he is going to want to give her what she wants.

OK, now my personal beliefs.

I believe that a man should be responsible for providing for the family. I believe that a woman should work if she wants until she has children. I believe that once the woman stays home with the children that the household should be her domain. Basically, no fighting over bedtime for the kids, the wife has to deal with them all day long and be responsible for them. So if she says bedtime is at 8 then the husband shouldn't ignore that and keep the kids up till 10. With that said, we still must submit, so if the husband has a reasonable argument for changing the rules, then he should be heard. But, in this case, he should divert to her best judgement. I believe the man should be supported in his job. He should feel like his contributions are appreciated. He should be allowed to participate in parenting the children. I know this sounds strange, but I have seen many women who seem jealous when the father actually takes a role in parenting. I think that the chores should be split equally if both people are working outside the home. I think that once the woman stays home full time that this should mainly be her responsibility. (If the husband loves the wife as Christ loves the church, he will be more than willing to help out, but should not be made to feel that this is his responsibility).

I know, I am backwards and old fashioned, but this is how my marriage works and we are very happy. I hope this helps a bit.

Very well put!! I was actually just about to create a topic similar but think I'll hold off now

 

[Yitzchak]

There is a difference between submission and obedience. Obedience means following orders. A person can obey an order or a rule outwardly while being passive agressive and inwardly rebellious in their attitude. Submission , on the other hand, involves attitude. It is bending my will to have a co-operative attitude concerning another person.

With that clarification made , I don't think that the bible teaches that women are to obey men. I also don't think that wives are to obey their husbands. The scripture teaches us to submit to one another. Not just in marriage but in our relationships with other christians. Taking verses such as the one in Ephesians to suggest that there is some special one-sided submissive relationship in marriage is like saying from the same passage that only the man is required to love his wife. If we applyed interpretation consistently, then women would police to make sure men were loving while being off the hook to love themselves. Taken in the context of all of scripture and just plain common sense. We are to both love and both submit to each other in a marriage.

I am glad that my wife has a submissive attitude towards me but I am more glad that that attitude comes out of an attitude of love and not duty. I have the same attitude towards her.