I've always had problems with understanding relationships, and realise that the adjectives we use to describe them can mean different things to different people. With God things get even more complicated, I think. Or maybe not - maybe it's just me thinking so.
There are
kinds of relationships - formal (as in legal contracts, employer-employee, etc.), family or 'blood' relationships (father, mother, brother, sister, extended family, etc.), personal relationships (friends...maybe enemies or competitors?).
And there can be the
status or
standing of the relationship - is it good (or maybe not so good), right (a morally right or wrong relationship), close (or distant, stand off-ish), improving (or deteriorating), and so on?
So....I get confused when people equate 'right' with 'good.' (Even when you ask people how they are and they reply 'I'm good' I react, because I was brought up to think that good is not the same as 'healthy, well, not sick, happy,' or any such thing. Jesus said 'only God is good.') Other people don't seem to mind, don't see any distinction.
All personal relationships ultimately are individual and unique. My relationship with God is mine. MissG, your relationship with God is yours. We can both have good/strong/close and improving relationships with God that are very different from one another.
And yet we constantly find that our individual relationships affect each other. We get the situation where people say "Nobody who is a friend of hers can be a friend of mine!" Even God speaks this way sometimes. Either you serve God or you serve the devil. You can't have it both ways. 'You cannot serve God and mammon (money)' said Jesus.
In my relationship with God through time, I have found that He has shown me some things that are a hindrance to coming closer to him, things I used to think were OK, and which He is showing me aren't. Why didn't He say so earlier? Maybe I wasn't ready or receptive previously, and would have fought back. I think this is in part what the Bible means "He will not break a bruised reed." He knows better than me what I can tolerate. I have to pass grade 1 before I can cope with grade 2, so to speak.
Within groups of Christians I think the biggest lack may be
grace. We somehow think everyone else is experiencing the same thing in their relationship with God as we ourselves are. We have 'got the light' so you should have too. We don't seem to understand that we all have individual journeys to travel with God. Yes, there are fundamentals that are common to all in our relationships with Him, but we don't all find them in the same order, or at the same rate. Because of our individual personalities and histories we have different issues to confront, different lessons to
unlearn, and perhaps different lessons to focus on at any particular time. So you are OK, MissG, not feeling comfortable every time some group of Christians wants to tell you what is the "right" relationship with God.
Which brings me to my problem, which is my lack of grace towards people who tell me the same thing! I also need to learn grace toward all. And focus on my own relationship with God, through Jesus, rather than look at and judge other people's.
God bless you. Let
Him draw you close. Listen to him, trust Him and obey; listen to others and evaluate against what God Himself has taught you. Try to be gracious, even when it's hard.
