Reverse Psychology

[Andry]

LOL, I'm guessing 9 out of 10 children will live happily in the filth, content in the knowledge that Mom and Dad will get tired of the mess before they will...and when the parents blow up and hit the ceiling over the state of things, then the child has the opening to say, "But you told me not to clean it!"

LOL, it just seems a huge waste of time and energy to me...but what ever works for you, I guess.

Then my son's that 10th child. And it didn't take a huge time or energy to me. No tricks or manipulation either. I think it's called instilling sensibilities or logic. Purposefully living in filth, is dumb. IMO, if a parent can't teach that to a child, I dare say the 'issue' is on the parent, not the child. We need to become better parents.

So rarely do I now have to ask him to wash his hands or clean his room. (And no, before you claim, 'obessive compulsive behaviour', nope. Not that either.) And he's just 4.

 

[HeatherJay]

Then my son's that 10th child. And it didn't take a huge time or energy to me. No tricks or manipulation either. I think it's called instilling sensibilities or logic. Purposefully living in filth, is dumb. IMO, if a parent can't teach that to a child, I dare say the 'issue' is on the parent, not the child. We need to become better parents.

So rarely do I now have to ask him to wash his hands or clean his room. (And no, before you claim, 'obessive compulsive behaviour', nope. Not that either.) And he's just 4.

I would never 'claim obsessive compulsive' just because you say your child washes his hands or cleans his room. Good for you if it works. I don't choose to parent in the same way. No big deal. You use one method to get results, I use another with the same results.

 

[Crofter]

If you ask kids to be too tidy they don't play so relaxed and freely as they grow up and they don't like to get stuff out cos they will be told to clear it up... and parents have to be areful to distinguish betreen toys being played with and mess... and clean mess and dirty mess... and when a kdis 12 what looks like a mess to mum is work in progress to a kid... there is more to life than being tidy and sterile...

My kids always cleard up when they were 4... most young kids do....at 4 they are under the parents authority.... as a teen they are themselves and have more freedom... and the only tidy teen rooms I know are the ones where kids play on consoles and watch TV all the time.

I think looking back I fear I was a little too clean and tidy... and often for the sake of their daddy who didn't like to see kids toys... andry.....don't make my mistake... they are only young once...

 

[Andry]

If you ask kids to be too tidy they don't play so relaxed and freely as they grow up and they don't like to get stuff out cos they will be told to clear it up... and parents have to be areful to distinguish betreen toys being played with and mess... and clean mess and dirty mess... and when a kdis 12 what looks like a mess to mum is work in progress to a kid... there is more to life than being tidy and sterile...

My kids always cleard up when they were 4... most young kids do....at 4 they are under the parents authority.... as a teen they are themselves and have more freedom... and the only tidy teen rooms I know are the ones where kids play on consoles and watch TV all the time.

I think looking back I fear I was a little too clean and tidy... and often for the sake of their daddy who didn't like to see kids toys... andry.....don't make my mistake... they are only young once...

Thanks for your words of wisdom Crofter. BTW, I peeked at your picture....what the heck are you standing in front of? I'd venture you're onboard a Royal Navy vessel?

Back to the OP.... I give my son a lot of latitude. But appropriateness and timing has been key words in our household. Goofing off to his hearts content in his playroom? Yup. At a restaurant? Nope. Getting real messy fingerpainting? Yup. Getting to bed like that? Nope. Making strange and funny sounds in the bathtub? Sure. At church? Nada. Etc. etc.

 

[Crofter]

andry.... the photo is one of the few preserved historic navy ships the HMS Plymouth. My hubbie served on a sister ship during his short stay in the Navy.

Yep... you sound quite like us...with little kids there is a time and a place and they are quick to learn this.... or at least little boys are! lol! Girls.... they are a different story! lol!

People tell me the best way to get a teen to clean their room is to shut the door and ignore the mess! lol! I find for me just hitting their allowance works better though!