Restored after a moral failure...

[Restored Pastor]

I was a Pastor for a number of years meanwhile struggling with a Same Sex Attraction. I fought the struggle but during a weak time in ministry I succumbed to the temptation and had a moral failure.
After a few years I confessed to my District and to my wife. We entered a restoration program. We have walked the journey of restoration and are preparing to go back into my ministry. I am preparing to speak about the journey that we have been on. I am speaking about the fact that I journeyed through a struggle, that I had a moral failure, but I am not planning to identify the failure.
What are your thoughts on this? How open would you expect your Pastor to be? What questions would you ask?
I look at Paul's journey and when to this day we have no idea what his thorn in the flesh was. I do not want our ministry to be built on the sin that was committed but on the life that Christ has restored.
Hoping to dialogue with others who have journeyed, who have journeyed with someone, or simply willing to dialogue about this. I want to prepare myself for those challenging questions that may come my way.

 

[HereIStand]

It's great that you see what you did as wrong. Sadly, some would rationalize it, and would find plenty of encouragement, even from some within the church. In talking with your future church, just be upfront and honest. As you get to know the people and they you, then talking about it further will be unnecessary.

 

[Kit Sigmon]

I also would expect my minister to be upfront and honest about things.

 

[Sketcher]

If a pastor had to walk away from the ministry due to a moral failure, I'd want to know what it is to watch out for. We're supposed to judge trees by their fruits, but that becomes harder to do when we don't know where the failure was. It also becomes harder to stand with you and watch your back.

We don't know if you shouldn't be trusted with sinners out on the edge, or with counseling members of your church. We don't know if it's children, teenagers, or older men. We don't know if it's predatory or not. We don't know if it involved church money or not.

Not only that, the potential for gossip is literally huge.

 

[wtrailer]

I personally don't believe you need to reveal it. Your example with Paul and the thorn in his flesh seems valid.

Wt

 

[Kit Sigmon]

Paul said this about why he was given a thorn in the flesh: chapter 2
of Second Corinthians 7b-9
"Therefore, so that I would not become arrogant, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to trouble me—so that I would not become arrogant.
I asked the Lord three times about this, that it would depart from me.
But he said to me, “My grace is enough for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” So then, I will boast most gladly about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may reside in me."

 

[Bobinator]

1Timothy 3:[2] A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;
[3] Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;
[4] One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;
[5] (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)
[6] Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.
[7] Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.
[8] Likewise must the deacons be grave, not doubletongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of filthy lucre;
[9] Holding the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience.

 

[Endeavourer]

Dear Recovering,

I would strongly urge you to fully disclose the moral failing for several reasons:
a) it will just create curiosity and gossip as to what the failing is;
b) it's a small world after all.....certainly there is some trace of this online or in social media so if someone finds out you will be a target for blackmail;
c) you'll always be looking over your shoulder in fear of someone finding out and will not be at rest;
d) Paul's "thorn of the flesh" was to keep him close to God, not to protect him from fallout of immoral actions so there is no equivalency here;
e) Many congregations would likely fear to call you in case the "moral failing" was predatory such as child molestation, etc.; and finally
f) the church you are pastoring would likely suffer great damage, if not a split, when this eventually becomes known which would not further the body of Christ. You would knowingly be the cause of a great risk for harm to your new church that they would not even have the opportunity or knowledge to protect themselves from.

Dennis Jernigan is a great example of recovery after same sex experiences. You may be able to make some impactful outreaches to the same sex community given your history.