Responsibility

[Linnis]

My nephew is seven years old and I think he's more than old enough to help around the house. Like I'll ask him to tidy his room(or toys when we're at my house), make his bed, pick up his dirty cloths and put them in the basket. take his dirty dishes to the sink etc
I do not think seven is too young to learn after taking a bath to pick up the dirty cloths and towel or after eating to clear his dishes. Other family thinks I'm pushing him too hard and if he does it, I should pay him.

what happened to a little self responsibility? If you mess it up you clean it up, respect for your own things and also for the home you live in?

For those of you with older kids, do they have to pick up after themselves and if they do you pay them for it?

 

[bliz]

He is certainly not too young! These kind of expectations should have been there before 7. And he clearly should not be paid. Doing the things you are asking him to do is simply what everyone who lives in a house should do - pick up after himself.

 

[Judilyn]

He is not too young. My kids are 10,15 and 18. They started learning young that our family is a team and it takes a team to maintain the house. I do not pay them for cleaning afterall my husband and I do not get paid for keeping up the house. My older 2 both hold jobs outside of the home now and just like their father and I they still do their share.


Learning to do simple household taks starts when children are toddlers. Simple things like, "Lets pick up the toys, can you find the blocks and put them in this bucket? Or
asking them to put things into the hamper or the garbage.

 

[Linnis]

I've always expected it of him, but now that he's not with me all the time but going from his Dad's and back it's hard because his dad gives him fifty cents for every chore he does while I don't think he learns anything from that...like Erin said it's not like we get paid to pick up after them.

 

[bliz]

Kids can do very well at accepting that there is one set of rules in one house and another set of rules in another house. He won't be confused.

 

[karla]

My kids are almost 5 and almost 3 and they have certain responsibilities around the house. The both clear the dinner table after dinner, my daughter will even load the dishwasher, put soap in, and turn it on , the have to pick up their own messes, and they must make their beds each morning when they get up. They don't get paid, because I don't find it necessary since it is all part of living in a family, each person must do their share of work. There's a quote from pope John Paull II that I love and is kind of the motto of our home. It is: "To maintain a joyful family requires much from both the parents and the children. Each member of the family has to become, in a special way, the servant of the others"

 

[Leanna]

He is old enough to do it, but since he's not your kid there's not much you can do about it if his dad wants to pay him for chores. You can just do it differently with your own kid.

 

[Whitestone]

I've always expected it of him, but now that he's not with me all the time but going from his Dad's and back it's hard because his dad gives him fifty cents for every chore he does while I don't think he learns anything from that...like Erin said it's not like we get paid to pick up after them.

Sounds like his dad is going to be doing alot of cleaning if he runs out of quarters.

 

[Joykins]

My four year old can do those things. We do not pay him to do them. If he doesn't pick up his toys when asked we put everything not picked up into a trash bag and put the toys into Time Out for a few weeks. He knows that putting his dirty clothes and towels into the hamper is just part of getting ready for bed. In fact, he gets upset if I remove the hamper to wash his clothes and it isn't there at bedtime.

 

[Princessperky]

sheesh those are things my 3 year old has to do!

and my 1.5 but I still help her with lots, she has to do it, but I will be glad ot offer assistance and reminders.

I am with the PP, no clean up no toys, I am not a maid, I am a mother, I love my children help them learn and grow, leaving them to live in a pig sty or doing it all for them, is not in their best interest.

Oh on the different house different rules, remind him whos house he is in and how all houses are different, he wants your rewards he follows your rules, (might want to start each visit with a reward, help remind him) he wants dads rewards he follows dad rules, course dad isn't there sooo, gonna be a borring couple of days if he doesn't switch rules.

 

[lucypevensie]

No, you are not expecting too much. You don't have to pay him for those types of simple chores that just have to be done. Now, if he washes your windows or something like that...that would be something you could pay him for. Anything over and above should at least be recognized.

 

[Linnis]

Last night it took him 45 minutes to eat his dinner but he ate it. The night before I made dinner for the three of us and he decided he wanted me to make him something else. I'm like well I may you and your Uncle Hamburger Helper, I eat it even it it isn't my favourite. So he got nothing from then until the next morning at breakfast and yet again between cereal and pancakes he wanted neither...so by lunch he got the idea he had to eat what was in front of him or only water until the next meal...and since he ate both lunch and dinner he could have a vanilla pudding cup for dessert. I'm kind of proud of myself for getting that in his head without tears or any fight. Proud of him too.

 

[EmSchmem]

I think he should be doing things. ANd since there sounds like there IS an adjustment period while maybe paying him isn't necessary, maybe an incentive program is a good idea. If he does all of hus chores with very minimal prompting he gets a special treat like picking dinner on Friday or soemthing. If not he is still stuck eating whatever is in front of him.

 

[Linnis]

He likes vanilla pudding. If he eats all his lunch or dinner, he gets to have one pudding cup. Normally that's usually all he needs to know to eat all of it, even if it takes 45 minutes. I have to do this otherwise all he'd want to eat is hamburger helper or ham sandwiches.

 

[Leanna]

I like cheeseburger hamburger helper. It's yummy, but not real healthy.... too much sodium and no veggies...

 

[Linnis]

Yeah, a lot of those box meals have insanly high sodium...rice n' roni or however it's spelled has over 1000mg of salt per serving! My husband mixes peas and green beans into cheesy hamburger helper...I think it's gross either way but I will eat it since I don't like cooking twice..

 

[HeatherJay]

Yeah, a lot of those box meals have insanly high sodium...rice n' roni or however it's spelled has over 1000mg of salt per serving! My husband mixes peas and green beans into cheesy hamburger helper...I think it's gross either way but I will eat it since I don't like cooking twice..

If you'd like him to eat something healthier than boxed hamburger helper, you could make your own. Instead of those awful powdered cheese mixes, you could use low-fat shredded cheese and fresh herbs and spices. Honestly, my kids think home-made dinners are better than boxed or frozen any day...so do I, lol...I'm like you. Some of that stuff is just disgusting. But since most boxed dinners are based on pretty simple recipe concepts, it's not too hard to make your own healthier version.

But, no, I agree with the others, kids his age should have responsibility. Rewards are nice incentives, but kids shouldn't expect payment for doing basic things like making his bed or picking up after himself. Maybe you could give him some sort of "allowance" if he does all his chores without making a fuss for a week (at 7 years old, I'd think $2.00 would be a real treat).

Good luck.

 

[Linnis]

For the most part I've come up with homemade verisons of the box meals my husband and nephew like...it's usually simplier and tastes better...we get the boxes when my BIL remembers I feed his kid normally out of my own pocket most of the time.

Last week all three of us made homemade lasagna, it turned out really well, I even got my husband to sit at the dinner table to eat.