Resisting temptation

[CrystalBrooke]

That sounds simple enough, but if it is just so easy as to "grow up and learn some self control" why do people fall to temptation all the time? Your right, its not impossible but it can be very difficult, thus I'm seeking help.

I didn't say it was easy. Growing up is hard, you're tempted, you fall (sometimes), you learn from it. It's a struggle, everyone's been through it with something. Sin is very desirable and we are very human..it's a dangerous combination, but you have to want to stop in order to get past this. Like I said, talk to your pastor, do some pre-marital counseling, talk to your fiance' because you two need to be together in this or it just won't work.

Is that helpful enough?

 

[mytel]

BrokenWanderer: mate, i think the OP appreciates views from as many people that care enough to post, so don't cut down other people because their views somehow dont correlate with your own. Everyone learns in different ways, and perhaps her advice has helped him just as much as yours. You're 17, u should to learn while you're young not to judge others just because they have a different approach/view to a situation.

cowfire, i think u really just need to ask God, and he will provide an answer, but you need to really try and listen and be willing to allow him to take control. In fact i believe mindset is everything, its really up to u, if u want to stop, u know u can, u just have to be willing and believe. God is on your side, if u are honest that u want to stop then he will help u, even if it means stopping the routine of seeing ur girlfriend regularly for a bit, maybe go out of town and see some family/friends and get some perspective. A bit of time away can really help u to sort out things and give u confidence to follow what u believe. Tell her how u feel so she understands where ur coming from. Yes ive been thru similar experience, and the more i ignored it, the more i drifted away from faith, and it took me alot of time and searching to find my way back. God bless, and be strong!

 

[BrokenWanderer]

BrokenWanderer: mate, i think the OP appreciates views from as many people that care enough to post, so don't cut down other people because their views somehow dont correlate with your own. Everyone learns in different ways, and perhaps her advice has helped him just as much as yours. You're 17, u should to learn while you're young not to judge others just because they have a different approach/view to a situation.

I wasn't being short with her because her views are different than mine, because I see that they're drastically different. I was short with her, because this guy needs help, and I'd rather see him get help than, "Grow up, learn some self control."

 

[CrystalBrooke]

Kid you just don't get it. We realize you didn't agree with me, and I don't know about anyone else but I don't really care who does or doesn't agree with me. It was still advice no matter how harsh or unrealistic it sounded or whether you thought it was helpful or not, even if he didn't think it was helpful to him, some people do respond to that stuff. That's the kind of adivce I take to, that's what works for me so that's what I gave him.

 

[BrokenWanderer]

Kid you just don't get it. We realize you didn't agree with me, and I don't know about anyone else but I don't really care who does or doesn't agree with me. It was still advice no matter how harsh or unrealistic it sounded or whether you thought it was helpful or not, even if he didn't think it was helpful to him, some people do respond to that stuff. That's the kind of adivce I take to, that's what works for me so that's what I gave him.

Ok...this is getting ridiculous...stick to the topic of actually helping the guy, instead of worrying about what I say, if you say you really don't care who does or doesn't agree with you. Let's help this guy out.

 

[CrystalBrooke]

I've said what I have to say and I'll say it again..pre marital counseling. I hope you can overcome your struggles.

 

[BrokenWanderer]

I've said what I have to say and I'll say it again..pre marital counseling. I hope you can overcome your struggles.

Pre-marital counseling is definitely an option. Without a doubt, I agree with the idea of talking to a member of your church's staff. Just a note, however: not all advice church staff give you is wise. So be careful, and examine what they say. If you know their advice to be true, then you can trust them without worry of that.

Another thing, that I'd personally recommend: examine why you have done what you have. Search yourself, examine why it is you have defied something that God set in place. However, since you are engaged to her, it reminds me of what Paul said, in 1 Corinthians 7, particularly verse 9, but I'd highly recommend you read the entire chapter, if not the whole book of 1 Corinthians.

 

[cowfire19]

Pre-marital counseling is definitely an option. Without a doubt, I agree with the idea of talking to a member of your church's staff. Just a note, however: not all advice church staff give you is wise. So be careful, and examine what they say. If you know their advice to be true, then you can trust them without worry of that.

Another thing, that I'd personally recommend: examine why you have done what you have. Search yourself, examine why it is you have defied something that God set in place. However, since you are engaged to her, it reminds me of what Paul said, in 1 Corinthians 7, particularly verse 9, but I'd highly recommend you read the entire chapter, if not the whole book of 1 Corinthians.

It says a lot to me about the severity of sexual sin when God would prefer you to get married over commit sexual sin.
I dont know exactly why I have done what I have other than I wanted to. The temptation was greater at the time, than my desire to do as God would want me. This is a temptation I clearly struggle with and I was not fit to resist it at the time.

In a previous post you asked me if I loved her or lusted for her, I love her dearly. It is not lust.

 

[KGirl]

I would suggest to talk to someone else that you trust and ask them to keep you accountable. Also to help encourage you two to not be alone together. Maybe someone else (or more then one person) could call you now and then to check on you, or spend time around you two so you won't be alone.
What I have also heard of is having you and her go in prayer before God and ask that He marry you two in His eyes. If He approves of you being married, who can tell you otherwise? The Bible says to be married. If God blesses you to be married, you would be ok. Or you could also always elope..

 

[CrystalBrooke]

When you feel that tempted you need to remove yourself from the situation..immediatly.

 

[BrokenWanderer]

When you feel that tempted you need to remove yourself from the situation..immediatly.

Indefinitely. A situation like that appears, you get out. You don't stay there.

 

[lovelyashley]

Sin is very desirable and we are very human..it's a dangerous combination, but you have to want to stop in order to get past this.

I agree. I went through this problem also. You both have to want to stop having sex, or else you just won't. You have to get to the point that you know what you are doing is hurting God, and you would rather please God.

 

[RachieCat]

Put this above everything else. If you sit down,discuss and promise God together this won't seem like such an issue.

 

[Lenka]

1 Corinthians 6:18

18Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.

I have actually FELT this - yeah, don't do it. The memory will hurt, it will always hurt, now you will hurt only for the 2 times, and the more you do it, the more it will feel awful; your relationship with God will disintegarte.

Don't sleep with her. This is the first big test God gives your relationship, the test of whether your marriage will be sacred and enjoy God's grace; you must have faith and not walk into temptation again, and you must do so together, with mutual understanding, love, and the willingness to make this small sacrifice.