Firstly, I don't believe those urges make somebody a 'bad' or 'good' person. That you have those urges only tells me that you're wrestling with a common struggle. Urges are urges... but acting on them is a different matter. You may not have control of your urges, but with God's help and biblical insight, you *can* control how you act. You sound like somebody with a spirit-filled heart... valuing that this is a nice guy, looking to God, and asking fellow believers how to do what's right. I strongly believe that these urges alone don't make you bad. They're natural, and something that is a part of the struggle that single, abstinent people deal with. But having those urges doesn't mean you should act on them.
That said, if you do give in to these urges now, you'll likely do harm to yourself and harm to the guy... to be either felt now, or in retrospect. Possibly physical (disease, unwaned pregnancy etc.), more certainly psychological (regret, resentment, hating men etc.). Do you really want to hurt this person you like so much? If you really like him, you'll find a way to avoid inflicting possible harm on the both of you. Also, think about your future spouse, and how they would react if you were being tempted to cheat on them. Granted this is a difficult issue to deal with (let alone talk about in an obviously afirming, non-offensive way online), but that's how I view premarital sex... like a variation of extramarital sex. For you something else may work, but remember that God loves both of you, and wants the best for the both of you. Will you chose the more beneficial choice, or settle for something that's just going to mess things up? If you chose not to follow God's suggestions, heartbreak and unwanted complexity are the likely result. He's probably saying something like "I don't want you to do this stuff, because I don't want to watch you get hurt!" God wants what's most beneficial for us... and that's to keep sexual contact within marriage. His wisdom is for our benefit.
Also, it sounds like you've been successful in this area so far... be it a few months, or a few years, don't give up! You will be thankful down the road.
-From someone with strong urges, who lets God direct his path on the issue abstinence. I mention this because I feel this struggle gives me some credibility on the issue . I plan on remaining celibate until marriage, but that doesn't mean I don't have normal human feelings. It is my hope that I speak most for other Christian singles (men and women alike) on this one. We abstinent folks aren't magically hormone-free. It's difficult at times, but worthwhile goals usually have a degree of difficulty. Just know that either way, you are a new creation, and God is there for you when you need his help. Prayer is a great thing... it will help keep the lines of communication, not to mention your heart and footsteps, open to God's aid.
Love is patient...
