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Resent lazy husband that is taking us into financial despair

Discussion in 'Separation and Marriage Restoration' started by 1970STACY, Sep 13, 2006.

  1. 1970STACY

    1970STACY New Member

    I've been married 6 yrs, dated husband 6yrs prior, we did not live together so I never saw the true extent to his laziness. We have 4 kids, both work full-time, I have outside employment, he is self-employed as a farmer and small business owner. Both areas of his businesses are failing, we are so in debt, I want him to sell what he can and get out, but he refuses to listen to me. He has an expensive hobby (race car driver) that he does every weekend from April to September and he refused to give that up. He doesn't help out with the house or any yard work, on his time off he's mostly on the couch watching television. I am so angry and so resentful of him, I find it hard to look at him. What can I do as a Christian to get rid of the anger and resentment. He refuses counseling, what can I do for myself since he refuses to open his eyes? Help?:sigh:
  2. tryingtobe

    tryingtobe New Member

    Just because he dosen't want to go to counselling doesn't mean you can't go by yourself. You may feel better just to get things off your chest and he may follow the example you are showing. Your pastor may have some advice if you go to counselling with a pastor.
  3. lady4theallmighty

    lady4theallmighty Regular Member

    In my opinion, you are being completely taken advantage of and your husband needs to step up to the plate and love his wife as Christ loved the church.

    I hate to ask this, because I'm sure that you already have, but have you had a serious discussion about this? Not arguement, not accusations, but discussion? Your approach could make the difference in the outcome.

    Have you prayed together about it?

    Well, I just said this in another post but I will suggest it to you as well because it really helped me. The book Power of a Praying Wife is full of very specific prayers. These prayers could bring some peace to you knowing that God is in control. Also, are you involved in any women's group at your church? If so, share with them, ask them to pray for you, pray together. Or even get in contact with a Pastor of your church for helping yourself.

    I will pray for you and your husband. I'm sorry that you are going through this. God is faithful, put all of your trust in him and he will come through!

  4. Autumnleaf

    Autumnleaf Legend

    Let it go. Just let it go like if you were dropping a hot potatoe. Give your paycheck to your husband along with all the bills and let him handle it however he sees best. If he tries to put it back in your lap refuse to take the responsibility.

    Many women worry about how their husbands handle things, while if these women would recognize their husbands are acting under God's authority in their marriage they would realize God is in control. Don't fight adversity, embrace it.
  5. PenelopePitstop2

    PenelopePitstop2 Senior Member

    I thinh it is a great idea to get counselling for yourself. My husband was in a similar situation with his business although he is not lazy he made a lot of bad decisions that I had warned him about and he took to long to get out of the business leaving us with a lot of debt. During this time I learnt that I could not change him. So I worked on changing the way I saw things and praying.

    God gave my husband the mantle of being head of the home so I let God deal with it and He did. It was hard to not say I told you so when his eyes were eventually opened and I will be honest and say sometimes I failed and said things that didn't help.

    My advice is be the best wife you can be and pray, pray, pray for your husband. God will work it out.:prayer:
  6. 1970STACY

    1970STACY New Member

    The encouragement you all have given is great, things have not changed, I have asked women at my church to pray for me and I am on a prayer chain. My husband is not saved, therefore, that is another obstacle to overcome. Forgiveness is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I liked the comment "drop it like a hot potatoe".....you are right, I'm finding it difficult to do. Please pray for me.:cry:
  7. Wags

    Wags Senior Veteran

    You have got to be joking! :eek:

    Do you really think that a mother should let her children strave or become homeless because her husband is refusing to care for his family? Proverbs 31 is very clear that a woman of valor takes care of her familys needs!
  8. burn97

    burn97 A Bruised Reed Yet My Gentle King Loves Me Anyway

    :eek: :doh:
    Isn't is suppose to be the husband's responsiblitiy to take care of his family as head of the house?

    He's thinking more about himself than you and you children. You have to pick up the slack unfortunately and consider your children's need and your need over his. You're drowning in the relationship the way it is, God never intended that for you. He wants you to be happy, are you happy like this? He wants you to have security, do you have security like this?
    How far is he willing to go before he admits defeat? He refuses help, he refuses to see there's a problem, he refuses couciling.... he's not taking your concerns your feelings seriously it sounds like. Is this really how you want to continue?