Hello everybody - apologies in advance if this is the wrong section! I'm new and it's sort of gifts related sort of not (I'm not sure). So I figured I'd start here.
I have no idea what kind of gift it is but historically I get... messages. Typically not from the mouths of the dead, to clarify. If someone says something in my dreams, it's directly related to them, and they've always been alive. It's happened all my life I just... know things. When it's important for me to know, God will let me know. I'm doubting myself for several reasons and you'll see below. I haven't had a "message" in a long time, and I just figured he didn't need to send me one, I didn't really think anything was wrong (usually they aren't good, they're a warning that I action and then a bad thing almost happens but does not because I intervened. It's uncanny). I can give examples if people need to know more...
This doesn't feel like that, though, but it disguised itself in a dream that is an avenue I've received messages from, so... I guess I am looking for prayer, and maybe guidance. Normally when I get a message (and I can elaborate if needed) whether asleep or awake, I know what needs to be done. I'm... I'm at a loss here.
The Dream:
I'm at a packed pub, a celebration. Birthday party? Anyways, I'm speaking and singing to the crowd, and I see my mum in the back of the room, smiling at me warmly. She has her knowing, prideful look and when I smile at her, she smiles back, and even gives me her little mischievous look and a wink. Everything about her is familiar, and exactly how I remembered her (when she was healthy, she was her original weight pre-cancer, with her blond hair and glasses, her yellow soft jacket and her jeans). I knew, even in the dream, she was dead, and my heart was so happy to see her. After her wink there was a moment's pause, and the crowd almost fell away (but were still very much in the way), and she began to look sadly at me, and then very serious faced. She looked at me and mouthed (without speaking) "there is no God" and then went to leave. I came running after her, through the crow. I ended up falling, just short of her, and just barely managed to touch her jean pant leg (but, like, it was physical, not corporeal) and then I woke up.
More Context (if it'll help):
I have no idea what kind of gift it is but historically I get... messages. Typically not from the mouths of the dead, to clarify. If someone says something in my dreams, it's directly related to them, and they've always been alive. It's happened all my life I just... know things. When it's important for me to know, God will let me know. I'm doubting myself for several reasons and you'll see below. I haven't had a "message" in a long time, and I just figured he didn't need to send me one, I didn't really think anything was wrong (usually they aren't good, they're a warning that I action and then a bad thing almost happens but does not because I intervened. It's uncanny). I can give examples if people need to know more...
This doesn't feel like that, though, but it disguised itself in a dream that is an avenue I've received messages from, so... I guess I am looking for prayer, and maybe guidance. Normally when I get a message (and I can elaborate if needed) whether asleep or awake, I know what needs to be done. I'm... I'm at a loss here.
The Dream:
I'm at a packed pub, a celebration. Birthday party? Anyways, I'm speaking and singing to the crowd, and I see my mum in the back of the room, smiling at me warmly. She has her knowing, prideful look and when I smile at her, she smiles back, and even gives me her little mischievous look and a wink. Everything about her is familiar, and exactly how I remembered her (when she was healthy, she was her original weight pre-cancer, with her blond hair and glasses, her yellow soft jacket and her jeans). I knew, even in the dream, she was dead, and my heart was so happy to see her. After her wink there was a moment's pause, and the crowd almost fell away (but were still very much in the way), and she began to look sadly at me, and then very serious faced. She looked at me and mouthed (without speaking) "there is no God" and then went to leave. I came running after her, through the crow. I ended up falling, just short of her, and just barely managed to touch her jean pant leg (but, like, it was physical, not corporeal) and then I woke up.
More Context (if it'll help):
- My mother passed away after a very long, painful fight with terminal cancer. I was her primary caregiver and the one who made all the decisions. She was my best friend (I know I know), and it was very very hard on me, even if the people around me think I was a rock (I'm squishy behind closed doors).
- I have yet to have seen my mother in dreams before. My brothers have, but not me.
- All of my brothers are musicians (I am not, though, on very very rare occasions I'll step up to the mic). I'm not big into being in the spotlight, though I'm not super stressed if I have to do it either. It's just, not my deal? I digress...
- The clothes she wore were just her casual wear. She owned them when she was alive.
- My mother was a DEVOUT Christian, and saying something like that goes... against her very character, which is probably why it's so shocking.
