Renewing relationship with Mary

[Raphael]

Hey all, long time. Hope all is well.

Okay, so here's my issue with some background. I was raised very Catholic and was taught to have a close relationship with God and Mary; I was made to feel safe praying for her intercession whenever I was in need. You know that famous prayer "Remeber O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who implored your help and sought your intercession was left unaided.... etc..?" Prayed that with a lot of fervor and always felt comforted afterward. Growing up in a different country where people were predominantly Catholic as well, I never felt tested by other religious groups. I grew up in a household where I was confused when I inadvertantly kept the channel on the 700 Club and thought I was watching a good religious show because the host kept talking about Jesus, but my elders told me not to watch it because they'll try and get me away from my Catholic faith. So I never really questioned anything.

Then in college, I had a couple of run-ins with non Denominational Christians who invited me into their faith. I talked with them saying I appreciated it but no thanks, I attend Catholic services. Then they questioned a lot of my beliefs, to the point using verses from the Bible to make some things we practice sound like the works of the devil (won't get into any specifics, I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about) -- especially attacking my belief in the Blessed Virgin. I was tested and my faith wavered, questioned what I really believed in. In the end, I decided I could never leave the Church (some thanks to a few the vets here e.g. Wols, KC, etc.) and my faith got stronger.

But I never got that safe feeling back when I prayed to the Blessed Mother. I felt guilty questioning my praying for her intercessions, and maybe I have never felt "worthy" to ask for them back. And I'm even thinking that perhaps I'm still not over all the issues my talks in college presented. Maybe I never got "closure" and in the back of my mind I still wonder. I'm not sure.

Wondering if any of you has gone through anything similar and how would a faithful Catholic go about renewing their relationship with the Blessed Mother after being tested?

 

[Roald]

Remember that she is your mother and collapse into her arms.

 

[D'Ann]

Hey all, long time. Hope all is well.

Okay, so here's my issue with some background. I was raised very Catholic and was taught to have a close relationship with God and Mary; I was made to feel safe praying for her intercession whenever I was in need. You know that famous prayer "Remeber O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who implored your help and sought your intercession was left unaided.... etc..?" Prayed that with a lot of fervor and always felt comforted afterward. Growing up in a different country where people were predominantly Catholic as well, I never felt tested by other religious groups. I grew up in a household where I was confused when I inadvertantly kept the channel on the 700 Club and thought I was watching a good religious show because the host kept talking about Jesus, but my elders told me not to watch it because they'll try and get me away from my Catholic faith. So I never really questioned anything.

Then in college, I had a couple of run-ins with non Denominational Christians who invited me into their faith. I talked with them saying I appreciated it but no thanks, I attend Catholic services. Then they questioned a lot of my beliefs, to the point using verses from the Bible to make some things we practice sound like the works of the devil (won't get into any specifics, I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about) -- especially attacking my belief in the Blessed Virgin. I was tested and my faith wavered, questioned what I really believed in. In the end, I decided I could never leave the Church (some thanks to a few the vets here e.g. Wols, KC, etc.) and my faith got stronger.

But I never got that safe feeling back when I prayed to the Blessed Mother. I felt guilty questioning my praying for her intercessions, and maybe I have never felt "worthy" to ask for them back. And I'm even thinking that perhaps I'm still not over all the issues my talks in college presented. Maybe I never got "closure" and in the back of my mind I still wonder. I'm not sure.

Wondering if any of you has gone through anything similar and how would a faithful Catholic go about renewing their relationship with the Blessed Mother after being tested?

Hi Rapheal,

I completely understand what you have explained in your post. Before I converted to being Catholic... I grew up as a Pentecostal... Mary was not emphasized at all, other than being the Mother of Jesus. I was taught not to pray to her or anyone, but God and Jesus...

When I became Catholic, I wasn't too sure about Mary and for the first 5 years of my conversion... I had a difficult time praying the Rosary or any prayers in reference to Mary. Although, I did have an open mind and I wanted to love and cherish Mary very much, but I felt uncertain deep down inside... Infact, Mary is my Patron Saint... who better to help me be a good mother than our own Lord's mother?

What helped me are a couple of things. On another website, I had to defend praying to Mary and the Saints... in having to defend her, I had to learn about her indepth. I had to study our Catholic faith and the part that she plays in our faith and in our beloved Catholic church. By defending her, I became stronger in my Catholic faith and the uncertainty of praying to her slowly disappeared.

Another thing that really helped me was praying the Rosary every day. I also read some books written by St. Louis Monfort. The titles of these books are: The Mystery of Mary, The Secret of the Rosary and True Devotion to Mary. I highly recommend that you read these books... they have a beautiful way of expressing and teaching and sharing about Mary and why we love her. What we must realize is that when we pray to Mary or the Saints... all of those prayers are being directed to Jesus. All of those prayers are focused towards Jesus...

I hope this is helpful and God be with you.

God's Peace,

D'Ann

 

[RichSpidizzy]

Hi Raphael,
Mary is your mother and loves you unconditionally. She even loves those non-denominational Christians that tried to lead you away from her. You never need to feel guilty when approaching your mother in prayer.

 

[Raphael]

Thanks, guys. It'll take time, I suppose.

D'Ann -- I understand, that's probably what I'm feeling right now. I'll try those books, I don't think I have information in me right now to defend our Blessed Mother when 'debating' yet. Debate was what got me into this mess in the first place.

 

[Seek Ye First]

Our Lady's Message of Mercy To The World



"My dear little one, I smile on you even though you think you are wounded beyond repair. No one is beyond repair only those that wish to stay that way!" (Feb.14th. 1992)

 

[Epiphanygirl]

Hi Rapheal,

I completely understand what you have explained in your post. Before I converted to being Catholic... I grew up as a Pentecostal... Mary was not emphasized at all, other than being the Mother of Jesus. I was taught not to pray to her or anyone, but God and Jesus...

When I became Catholic, I wasn't too sure about Mary and for the first 5 years of my conversion... I had a difficult time praying the Rosary or any prayers in reference to Mary. Although, I did have an open mind and I wanted to love and cherish Mary very much, but I felt uncertain deep down inside... Infact, Mary is my Patron Saint... who better to help me be a good mother than our own Lord's mother?

What helped me are a couple of things. On another website, I had to defend praying to Mary and the Saints... in having to defend her, I had to learn about her indepth. I had to study our Catholic faith and the part that she plays in our faith and in our beloved Catholic church. By defending her, I became stronger in my Catholic faith and the uncertainty of praying to her slowly disappeared.

Another thing that really helped me was praying the Rosary every day. I also read some books written by St. Louis Monfort. The titles of these books are: The Mystery of Mary, The Secret of the Rosary and True Devotion to Mary. I highly recommend that you read these books... they have a beautiful way of expressing and teaching and sharing about Mary and why we love her. What we must realize is that when we pray to Mary or the Saints... all of those prayers are being directed to Jesus. All of those prayers are focused towards Jesus...

I hope this is helpful and God be with you.

God's Peace,

D'Ann

I just sent my Mom The Secret of the Rosary. It is such a beautiful and inspirational book. I too, highly recommend it. It helped me to understandmore fully, the true intentions of our devotion as Catholics to the Holy Mother.

 

[thereselittleflower]

Raphael

I agree with D'Ann's suggestions. But I think the one she has down as "The Mystery of Mary" is actually "The Secret of Mary" (which I have.. I have all three of those books).

If I can share a little.

I grew up Eastern Orthodox, but as my mother was a convert and never accepted the teaching on veneration of Mary and the saints (even though she didn't say a whole lot, she passed on to me a distrust of this practice) I never developed a relationship with Mary. I then had a conversion experience in highschool that my protestant friends defined for me, and I began my Protestant journey that lasted 30 years.

Almost 5 years ago I began my journey into the Catholic Church by coming to realize that what I had been taught about Luther and the Reformation left a great deal to be desired and I could not longer accept it as legitimte.

One of my biggest hangups was with Mary and the saints, especially Mary. God did some marvelous things for me to help me realize the reality of the communion of saints, and especially Mary. In addition, the book True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary by DeMontfort came into my possession and it was something that, reading over a period of time, gradually helped to form my understanding of the relationship with Mary God desires for us.

The Secret of Mary is a shortened version of this and powerful in and of itself.


It could simply be that due to all the 'junk' information your interactions with your evangelical friends have planted in your mind, you are having difficulty getting past it . . . Such things can be very insidious; these kind of challanges presented to you about your faith, especially Mary.

Reading the books suggested above, especially "True Devotion" will indeed help you, not only to become stronger in your faith about Mary, but also in your relationship with her as well. You may even desire to follow DeMontfort in a Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary.


Also, may I ask, have you confessed your doubting and questioning of the teachings of the Church, Her teachings regarding Mary? If you haven't, this may be a step to bring healing to your soul and restoring what it is you feel you have lost.

If you have, then it may simply be a matter of ridding yourself of this 'programming' your encounters with those evangelicals/fundamentalists have left you with.

As I said, such things can be insidious and more deeply embedded into our thinking than we realize on the surface. . . . The answer to this is prayer and study. DeMontfort's True Devotion is not something you sit down and simply read . . . it is something you read, stop, ponder, meditate on, pray about . . .

It is a little book, but it is a POWERFUL one. It changed John Paul II's life.

Read about St. Maximillian Kolbe as well . . he had a tremendous devotion based on DeMontfort's consecration to Jesus through Mary. His story is astounding.


It may also be helpful to familiarize yourself with apologetics used to defend against attacks on our beliefs regarding Mary. Listening to Catholic asnwers in my early phases of my conversion process helped. Going on the net and looking up apologetic material helped . . . such things may help strengthen your faith and rid you of remnants of the junk you picked up along the way that may still be affecting you . . .


But what it seems to me you are looking for is help in strengthening your relationship with Mary, in regaining something it seems to you that you have lost.

You have not lost Mary.

Dryness of soul is a common experience. Such times strengthen our faith. Now is when you walk by faith. Entrust the care of your life into Mary's hands, and begin to walk in faith that this is so. As you read True Devotion, your faith will be strengthened.

Regardless of your feelings, Mary is there as your Mother waiting to bestow graces on you. Just ask for them.

Ask for the grace to do this. Ask for the grace to understand DeMonfort's teachings and to enter into a closer relationship with Mary, and through Mary wth Jesus.


Ask for this . . you will not be dissapointed.



John Paul pray for us