- Apr 4, 2004
- 40
- 3
- 57
- Faith
- Baptist
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Republican
The loss that I grieve isn't a death. In some ways I think a death might have been easier because time will eventually heal all pain. I'm not sure if this is the right forum for my issues, but I don't seem to fit in anywhere - yet I'd like to find a group who can offer support as well as suggestions for handling the loss.
On April 9th, 2007 my then 18 year old daughter was shot in the head by her ex-boyfriend who then shot himself. Her father came home to find them and called 911 first. He called me second. I live halfway around the world because my husband and I are Foreign Service. That call was devastating. We thought we were about to get on a plane, travel 24 hours to attend my firstborn child's funeral.
The Lord had other plans for my girl, though. Against all odds she survived having a 22 caliber bullet enter her forehead, corkscrew through the left side of her brain and lodge itself 1 mm from her brain stem.
One year later we have survived the horror of that day and the weeks which followed with her coming so close to dying we began funeral preparations more than once. We survived the weeks during which she was a in coma, had to have brain surgery, and then the hospital said that was all they could do - we would need to find a nursing home. We fought to get her into a brain rehab center...and she fought to live and relearn all that was lost. We dealt with the survival of her shooter, his rapid recovery, the trial - and his sentencing to only 40 years in prison, part of which will be served in a mental institution.
My daughter will never be the same. She can walk, but her right arm and leg do not function. She can talk, but not very well, and she has problems with outward communcation. She can read and choose correct responses from written questions and answers - but since her speech center was damaged she cannot speak will, type, write or spell without relearning all those skills. She is depressed.... There is so much more that we all deal with I can't list it.... But, the burden is heavy.
My daughter died that day. The person we now call by her name is not the same and never will be. I would love to get to know this new person - but I still live half a world away and that makes this all the more difficult. (Besides not getting along well with her father, my ex-husband.)
Now, I know that God has a Plan for my daughter. Her plight has already helped others, and for that I am grateful. The Lord saw fit to spare me the outright death of my daughter - and for that I am grateful.
It's the day to day reminders of the living nightmare we endured the month of April 2007 that I don't know how to handle. The anniversary of that day just passed - and I spent it fighting with her father about why he has not gotten her back into Physical, Speech, occupational and mental health therapy after she was discharged from the assisted living program back in February and was supposed to go straight to outpatient therapy programs.
Sorry this is so long for my first posting on CF since 2004. But, I feel the need to gush these days or all my stress is going to cause my heart to explode!
Any suggestions, prayers, or comments are SO welcome at this point!
On April 9th, 2007 my then 18 year old daughter was shot in the head by her ex-boyfriend who then shot himself. Her father came home to find them and called 911 first. He called me second. I live halfway around the world because my husband and I are Foreign Service. That call was devastating. We thought we were about to get on a plane, travel 24 hours to attend my firstborn child's funeral.
The Lord had other plans for my girl, though. Against all odds she survived having a 22 caliber bullet enter her forehead, corkscrew through the left side of her brain and lodge itself 1 mm from her brain stem.
One year later we have survived the horror of that day and the weeks which followed with her coming so close to dying we began funeral preparations more than once. We survived the weeks during which she was a in coma, had to have brain surgery, and then the hospital said that was all they could do - we would need to find a nursing home. We fought to get her into a brain rehab center...and she fought to live and relearn all that was lost. We dealt with the survival of her shooter, his rapid recovery, the trial - and his sentencing to only 40 years in prison, part of which will be served in a mental institution.
My daughter will never be the same. She can walk, but her right arm and leg do not function. She can talk, but not very well, and she has problems with outward communcation. She can read and choose correct responses from written questions and answers - but since her speech center was damaged she cannot speak will, type, write or spell without relearning all those skills. She is depressed.... There is so much more that we all deal with I can't list it.... But, the burden is heavy.
My daughter died that day. The person we now call by her name is not the same and never will be. I would love to get to know this new person - but I still live half a world away and that makes this all the more difficult. (Besides not getting along well with her father, my ex-husband.)
Now, I know that God has a Plan for my daughter. Her plight has already helped others, and for that I am grateful. The Lord saw fit to spare me the outright death of my daughter - and for that I am grateful.
It's the day to day reminders of the living nightmare we endured the month of April 2007 that I don't know how to handle. The anniversary of that day just passed - and I spent it fighting with her father about why he has not gotten her back into Physical, Speech, occupational and mental health therapy after she was discharged from the assisted living program back in February and was supposed to go straight to outpatient therapy programs.
Sorry this is so long for my first posting on CF since 2004. But, I feel the need to gush these days or all my stress is going to cause my heart to explode!
Any suggestions, prayers, or comments are SO welcome at this point!
