Relying on someone too much....

[worshipleader2b]

Hi people

I've been away at two Christian conferences for the past month, and during my weeks away I finally confessed to a youth pastor who was there about all my struggles, no need for me to go into them now, but they're quite sensitive ones. This guy, Tony, was really sweet, caring and kind about them all, as I had worried he would think I was really weird because of them. He gave me great advice and encouragement whilst I was there.

However, he lives a couple of hours away from me, and has recently got married, so life is pretty busy for him at the moment. However, I'm struggling with the idea that I won't be able to see him for a year or so [at the conferences again]. I know it was God's words of love and compassion he was talking to me, but it's still really hard - I so badly want to meet up with him, not because of my struggles, but just to spend time with him - and whenever I'm out in town whenever I see a guy of his height/build etc I immediately think 'Tony!', even though there's literally no chance that it's him, and it isn't.

Any advice?

 

[goldenviolet]

God is lovely. He places people on our paths to be His hands and feet. sounds like Tony was used to confirm things on your heart. the real 'person' you seek is the Father. the messenger is gone. maybe you'll see him down the road... but the Lord you can meet everyday.

 

[Anti Existance]

The problem is that you need to take the power of your life back into your own hands. You are putting yourself in an 'extremely' volunerable situation because of it. You see you need to be like a castle , the drawbridge letting good people/events into your life, and letting the bad things/people out of your life by pulling your drawbridge up. I think the most sensetive issue here is that you have feelings ,which you don't have to be ashamed of for males. However its hard to find support for that in a great deal of the christian enviroment.

Personally i don't think that you have these feelings because you are really homosexual, rather became attached emotionally to someone who was kind to you wether it would have been a woman or man. Something that in your life has been a pretty rare event. You need to sort your feelings out, again take the power of your life back into your own hands, love ,believe and support yourself. Build up defence you don't want to get emotionally hurt by people who don't care about hurting your feelings. Rather bring in people in your life who love and support you, so you can love and support them back.

 

[Onlythingavailable]

I might be totally wrong, but I think these sorts of things happen when someone helps us out on an "emotional" level. Goldenviolet really made a good point. I also think that since you've recognized that you're relying too much on him, this situation will solve itself in time. If it for some reason persists, you should go talk to someone more educated, perhaps a priest or a councellor.

 

[worshipleader2b]

I think these sorts of things happen when someone helps us out on an "emotional" level.

Completely right.

 

[madison1101]

What you are experiencing is normal. I am going to encourage you to get involved in a church youth ministry near you, and develop relationships there.

God puts people in our lives to show us His love and grace. Keep in the Word of God, the Bible and get involved in a church near you. This is a normal thing you are experiencing. In time, you will be okay.

Hugs,
Trish