54 years old and still behaving like an adolescent. May be an indication as to why doctrines any more complicated than "Jesus Loves Me" seem to be outside of your grasp. Keep drinking milk, friend.
But as for loving God, read this:
Rom 5:5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
Rom 5:6 For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.
Rom 5:7 For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die.
Rom 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
If you were able, before any intervention by the Holy Spirit, to
decide to love God, why then did the He need to shed it abroad in your heart? And this:
1Jo 4:19 We love him, because he first loved us.
Love is volitional, yes... a decision. But unless and until a heart is changed from stone to flesh, it cannot decide to love God. A stone does not have the capacity to love. Where you err is that you don't yet acknowledge the depth of your depravity prior to salvation. You still assume that you weren't such a bad guy, and that all unsaved folks aren't so bad; at least not so bad that they can't choose to love. Some day you will understand, because nothing that is hidden will not be exposed, that the love decisions you thought yourself and unsaved humanity capable of was never really love. Then you'll accept the truth of God's giving you the ability to love Him before you could. The unsaved love only themselves and their idols. Having hearts of stone, their wills are bereft of the ability to choose the good and eschew the evil, they are incapable of loving another human, much less God.
So, explain to us how the love of God is evident in your childish attacks on brethren here. You claim to have "decided" to love God, and if that's true, then this would be true as well:
1Jo 4:21 And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.
Is playing the roll of argumentative and insulting troll an act of love? You're not here to learn anything, nor to help anybody, just to thumb your nose at folks who hold to a biblical theology that you blame for your youthful rejection of the Gospel.
Now that's Christian behaviour, right? To blame someone or something besides yourself for your own sin? Rejecting the Gospel at age 14 was
your sin, not anyone elses. Your placing of blame elswhere is just another symptom of your unwillingness to accept your own total depravity. Oh, you were pretty bad, but not so bad that you couldn't "decide" to ask Christ to save you, not so bad that you couldn't "decide" to love God, and not so bad that you couldn't "decide" to accept the offer of the Gospel. Those were pretty impressive decisions to make, don't you think? Especially for a man with a heart of stone?
You seem to be quite impressed with yourself; made all those commendable decisions without any interference from God; 54 year-old "praise band" musician (still have that pony-tail?); wannabe troll. Do you even see the caricature you present?
Sir, I'm of the belief that you just don't have the tools in the shed to do the job you've set out to accomplish here, and it may be better for your self-esteem to go a-trolling elsewhere.
SDG,
Brad