Relationships, total confusion!

[Gmachine]

I'm totally confused about the relationship I'm in or lack there of. I've fell in love with this true to life christian women who embodies everything I hold so high. She is perfection! Her heart is as big as possible and is always thinking of everyone else's needs instead of her own. She says the same about me. We fit together so well and I really do believe she is the one. It's just that for the past three months we've been seeing eachother she hasn't felt the need for a relationship the way I have. She says that she feels so strange walking away form someone so perfect for her and that I go above and beyond what anyone would expect. That any girl would be luck to have me. She has a lot going on with college and church activities regularly. I don't really have my life in order either. I'm on the verge of changing careers. I'm not really sure where I want to go, but the one thing I am sure of is her. I know we both have to agree to that, but what could the hold up be?? I'm 25 she's 21. Could it just be a timing issue?? I love this girl so much and have poored my heart out to her. She just hasn't been able to return it. Prayers needed please!!

Ryan

 

[Krazy_4given_1]

She says the same about me. We fit together so well and I really do believe she is the one.

So, it looks like she does return the love.

She says that she feels so strange walking away form someone so perfect for her and that I go above and beyond what anyone would expect. That any girl would be luck to have me.

Maybe this is where the timing issue is. She just can't grasp that this is happening. She feels strongly towards you but just needs time to realize its real.

but the one thing I am sure of is her.

Well, don't let the relationship go. You seem sure about it, so go for it.

[font=Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica]~Let not your heart be troubled. You are entrusting God, now trust in Me. (John 14: 1).~
Trust God with this, He knows what is right, and He will lead you.

God bless,
Kate
[/font]

 

[desi]

If she is the focus of your life she can never be yours. You have to be able to move on with your life without her for her to be able to respect you. If I were you I'd pick a direction for your life and start moving while stepping back a step or two from her. This is usually enough to get her to move toward you... as she will sense you moving away. Then BAM! pop the question and live happily ever after.

 

[wayfaring man]

Greetings ,

Gmachine ,

Examine if your love for this woman is distrating you from your love for Jesus / God .

Examine how much of your love for this woman is specifically love for her , and how much may be love of " Having her as your's ".

Keep in mind that everyone belongs to someone else already , ( parents , siblings , friends , and most of all God . )

If your " love " for her is , to much of a degree , tied to " selfish love " [ not loving , but loving ( the notion of ) being loved ] , then this may well explain her reservations .

If she truly loves the Lord ; her awareness of you , " Seeking God's kingdom and His Rightousness " ... First and Foremost - in your life ; will give her cause to seek closeness with you : but one's inspiration / motivation for doing this must be greater than the promised rewards / benefits , for the chains of selfish mindedness to be broken .

If we keep Christ as # One , all those who love the Lord , will savor our friendship and fellowship .

Friendship is the foundational relationship of all other ( positive ) relationships.

For a friend loveth at all times <---> Proverbs

And Jesus called us " friends " , when we are loyal to His Word . <--> John

And Abraham having recognized God is Number One , was called The friend of God . <---> James

Yet , besides these things , her love for you may be as a brother , but not as a mate ; in which case , that may be for the best .

Without forcing the question : at some point , if your hopes towards her do not materialize , ask her if this is indeed the case ; and be ready to accept her answer , and relax any pressure upon her to " feel otherwise " .

And though it may be emotioally difficult to do this , it will prove to be the path of the respected , the way of the blessed .

This is what comes to mind concerning your situation ,

Prayers of Hope , in The Beloved ,

wm

 

[Gmachine]

Thank you all so much for for your insight. I have totally put my trust in God and I know that this is out of my control. As far as her being my main focus. I hope that's not the case. She has opened my eyes to a new way to worship and has brightened my spirit. I realize now that church should be an emotional journey in every instance. Her personality and gift of piano playing is so inspiring to me and everyone that attends her services. I know if we were to compile our talents and gifts that we both have, we would be a force to be reconded with. I know Satan knows this and I can't help but feel he's working his magic in this too. We are both leaders in our seperate churches and quite good with people. It's just so strange to think that this wont go on to bigger and better things. I'm leaving it in Gods hands now. Thanks so much for the prayers. I'm baffled at the calmness he has placed in my heart!

Praise God!


Ryan

 

[wayfaring man]

Hey Ryan ,

It is the Lord's Pleasure to rebuke Satan out of our life .

And this He rightly does when we demonstrate that we no longer need the devil's negative proddings to draw our attention to how hopeless and helpless we are on our own !

Jesus is indeed our Master !

But unlike any earthly master , or teacher , with whom we grow less and less depedent upon , the more we have learned from them : with Jesus and the Kingdom of Heaven , the longer we've been taught and led by Him , the more dependent we become , because each forward step we take on the Path which Christ is , takes more of His mercy , more of His Grace , and more of His Faith ; for it is higher and farther away from our " natural plane " . Even as John The Baptizer testified -

He must increase, but I must decrease.
He that cometh from above is above all: he that is of the earth is earthly, and speaketh of the earth: he that cometh from heaven is above all. <-----> John 3:30+31

This applies inwardly , as well as the outward manner , which referred to John ministry diminishing in the face of Jesus' .

For without the inward ... there could be no ( genuine ) outward !

It sounds right what you have written in response , may the Lord be with you .

So I leave you with these verses :

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. <-----> Philippians 4:6+7

careful = anxiously worried , or doubtful ; due to fears , other than , the fear of the Lord .

In Jesus Name .

wm

 

[christdriven]

I just wanted to encourage you in giving it all to God, to leaving it in his hands and waiting for his purpose in this situation you're in. What a blessing you have as well, when saying that you feel peace. God is working, in your life and in hers. You probably hear this all the time, but Gods timing is best, his will is best and what he wants for your life, is more than anything you could have in store for your own. So keep praising, and keep trusting that the Lord has your future and hers in his hands. I mean if its not her, no matter how much you want it to be now, its going to be someone even more perfect for you!
God Bless you!

 

[Gmachine]

Thank you all for your insipring words! It is obvious God has sent us all this place to be there for each other.

The one thing I'm having such a problem with now that she has removed herself, is not getting to experience all the beautiful things she shared with me. I find it hard to do those now because it reminds me so much of her and that's just too much so I avoid them.

The strange thing is that the day we met I was at my wits end with women. I was at a bar (I drink, but responsibly always!) and feeling pretty down on my luck. I was once engaged, but she was cheating on me with a friend. Then I met someone who desprately needed someone solid in there life for support (I'm always a sucker for someone in need of help!). She didn't work out once I discovered she had no faith what so ever. Than this one came along. She would joke that the first thing out of my mouth was "what church do you go to?" I had enough at that point and didn't feel it was worth carring on a conversation past that answer. It really caught her off guard to say the least. The first two weeks everything was perfect. Then she seemed to build this wall. Ever since then she would alow me to get close then back away. Now we're here. Where ever that may be. It's just hard. God has given me peace, thank heavens for that, but some direction would be nice too. I'm spinning my wheels with my eyes wide open to any hint of insight he might give me.

Ryan

 

[bliz]

Wait. If this is really love, it will be there, on your part, two years from now. She's only 21. The world is just opening up for her! Let her enjoy!

And, in the meantime, it sounds like you have some work to do on your life. Get yourself organized and sorted out a bit. Right now you are in no shape to have a more serious relationship with anyone.

 

[D-Lisch]

That's a toughy... just work on it some more and ask her the honest question about how she feels.

 

[Gmachine]

I think space and time are about the only thing I can give her now. She knows my heart. I've been transparent so if she decides down the road that I'm not what she wants it's no fault of mine.

Ryan

 

[TheMainException]

I'll be praying brother...but let me give some advice first....sometimes others just don't feel attracted to another person like we do, it just happens...God has someone in mind for you...just be close friends with her.

 

[wayfaring man]

Hi Ryan ,


Since women are made to be child bearers and mothers , they tend to ponder the future of a relationship and the " what if's " in life .

And while this allows for a measure of shrewdness and prudence , beyond what your average Joe normally calculates with ; it also can foster fears and apprehension .

Men are less involved , biologically , with child bearing and mothering infants ; therefore they tend to not think of future possible complications , when analyzing a potential relationship . And as such are more likely " to act like a jerk " , which being translated into male speak , is we didn't think ahead on how what we said or did , would affect the relationship . ( Which largely involves the woman's feelings regarding having a supportive , secure future , in your embrace - so to speak . )

But this " not thinking of possible future complications ", common among men , comes in real handy , when a situation requires that someone boldly react to some threat or emergency . [ And no , I'm not saying women can't - be firefighters or whatever. ]

I'm saying it's good to understand the underlying factors of human sexuality and relationships .

To be a better man / husband , or woman / wife .

And no , I'm not repeating parts of some textbook dissertation .

Or else I would be led to cite the source .

But there is a spirit in man: and the inspiration of the Almighty giveth them understanding. <-----> Job 32:8

Ryan ,

You've apparently given this woman some cause for increased apprehension in the " what if " department . Or else God is leading her to steer clear of men seeking a " relationship " in general .

The appearance of using " what church do you go to ", as a possible " pick-up line " in a bar ; could well be a signal flare !

Also , I must warn you that if you try to use these insights to deceive .

God will severely punish you ! And make public the folly of attempting to do so .

One cannot force love ,

One can only trust in The Lord above .

To find what we truly need .

And to be graciously fulfilled indeed !

To the glory of God our Heavenly Father ,

And Jesus Christ , His Beloved .

Amen .

wm