Relationships For Dummies 101

[Stanfi]

Here is a situation. Let's say you meet someone. You are not sure if you have anything or not, but you would like to get to know them better and find out. You know they are interested in you as they (they being the woman in the situation) gives you her phone number.

So, what to do? Obviously she would like you to call, but how long do you wait to call? How do you determine the best time to call? How long do yo talk? How freqeunt should you call (assuming the initial call went well)? How long do you wait to ask her out? (You met her by being introduced by mutual friends).

I always have enjoyed to getting to know someone by emails. As it give you time to think out what do say. You and the other person the abiltity to communicate at leisure, insteady of intervenint into what they person is doing, and having them stop and talk to you. Unfortunatley the only communication path is telephone in this situtation.

 

[goat37]

I hate dating games... lol... but:

I'd give her a call within the first day or two (if you too are interested)... I like to talk in the early evening, because I am usually done with the day's events, and I am usually either out with friends or asleep late at night... so that's why I like to call early evening-ish. (7 pm or so)

On the first call I'd ask her out... not like "oh my gosh, i think u r cuet, wanna go out with me?" but more of a "Would you like to meet up later in the week for <insert activity here>" I like to ask if they want to meet for drinks (drinks is good because it doesn't last as long as dinner in case it isn't going well, and you can always stay and do other things if it does go well)

Between the call asking her out, and your date... I'd call maybe only once the day before (if even that), and that would be just to confirm... something like "hey, just wanted to tell you I am looking forward to seeing ya tomorrow night... just wanted to make sure it was 7pm that I was gonna meet you there" or something like that.

I'd forget the emails until you get to know her more in person first, then they can be used effectively... getting to know someone through email is just... I dunno... dumb (when you can just as easily do it in person... and this way, you save things to talk about when you are in person)

If the date goes well... say it's on a friday night... I like to just give a follow up call the next day and thank them and tell them I had a great time... and then usually, tuesday-ish, I'll call again to set up a next date.

But that's just me... if they are interested too, this schedule tends to work out well for me.

edit to add: I forgot to address the "how long to talk?" question... Don't give yourself a time limit... just be conversational, if it's 10 minutes... great, if it's an hour... great... just let it be natural.

 

[Eagle_Wings]

Just be yourself and do what feels comfortable to you...forget all that dating game stuff...just adds stress to the relationship!

 

[Stanfi]

Just be yourself and do what feels comfortable to you...forget all that dating game stuff...just adds stress to the relationship!

LOL, thanks for the advice, but I tried that before, and it didn't really work!

 

[Living4Him03]

I would prefer a call to email unless he just couldnt get to a phone, but if that's the case then he is too busy to get to know me!

 

[the_man]

Sure we all hate "games" but we should not be so ignorant to the 'dance' that occurs between a man and a woman. You call too much, you appear desperate you don't call, you appear not interested (or a wimp for not calling). All those "rules" are just want common sense will dictate (but when one is dealing with the opposite sex, common sense tends to fly out the window).

Truth of the matter is you are not calling to propose. Have a plan to take her out to get to know her better, call her up and ask her if she would be interested.

 

[Eagle_Wings]

LOL, thanks for the advice, but I tried that before, and it didn't really work!

Do you really want to be in a relationship where you have to do things in a certain order or follow a commonly accepted timetable instead of just being yourself and getting to know her? I understand that that's not easy, the guessing game commonly creeps up in relationships. I went through that with a guy that I knew wanted to be more then friends although I wasn't really interested in it. We were both very open and upfront about it, but I did have to work at just being myself around him cuz I didn't want him to get the wrong idea or think I was leading him on. Maybe other girls aren't like this, but I would prefer the guy to just do what he feels comfortable doing. But then again I'm pretty outspoken and if I feel that the guy is being too pushy or too distant I'll say something about it!

 

[RadicalJeeper]

On phone calls I always try to observe the "Two Day Rule". You don't want to call the next day, so you seem overly aggressive. Waiting till the second day after you go out builds a little suspense.