Relationship question

[Straightnarrow]

Okay guys (and girls) I'm guessing there is another thread about this SOMEWHERE but I couldn't find it so I'm just go ahead and ask.

I met this girl about 6 months ago, we pretty much only talked at school but lately we've been hanging out more often. We have a ton of interests in common, she really likes me (and I like her alot), but here's the deal..

1. She is basically a non practicing catholic.. and that worries me a little bit (as far as getting involved in a relationship goes) because I am a very strong protestant.

She is VERY open in talking about faith and God and what not, she straight out said she's a virgin and wants to stay that way until she's married (I didn't ask that btw, she came right out and said it, which I was impressed with..)
She is very hard working and I see alot of 'fruit' in her life that I wouldn't expect to see in a non-christian.

Pretty much I think she just needs an example and encouragement to really get into a realationship with God, which leads me to me question..

2. Is it possible (or even desirable) to date someone who's faith isn't as strong as yours, if they aren't hostile to the strength of your faith and seem like they want to grow in their faith?

and just some side notes for some perspective
1. She is a non practicing catholic (as far as not attending church for awhile) mostly because of her family (both parents work out of town, and she has to take care of her sister while balancing her own job)

2. Whatever happens, I want to stay friends for atleast a few more months before anything serious starts to happen because I dont like jumping into relationships blind (I've learned my lesson before)

Pretty much anything yall can tell me that might help would be apprieciated. Any stories about dating christians at different stages..etc

Thanks,

JJ

 

[JulySheMustFly]

From my experiences I've discovered "non-practising catholic" is code for non-christian. Becareful persuing a romantic relationship. I've also learned that if the person is open to religious discussions they are often really open to finding out what Christ could really mean to them. It is not easy being paired with someone who will not be growing with you in your faith. That is valid for both relationships with christians and non-christians.

 

[sistagirl]

yeah i think its possible to date a person not strong in their faith cause you may be able to show them and help her become strong in in her faith in the bible paul talks about havin a wife who can be made holy through you not god it was pauls opinion read 1 corinthians 1:13 it talks about wat love is ure sista in christ

 

[vibrant]

you could always try being friends and see where the relationship went and how it affected your spirituality. if she brings you down, it's not a good thing.

- i've dated a man who couldn't quite bring himself to identify fully with christianity, and ended it after that date.

- i've dated a man who was a strong christian, more vibrant in it than me, and it could have encouraged me except he didn't quite bring that side out when he was with me.

 

[Weasel7711]

One thing I have learned about dating, dont go into the relationship expecting to be able to change the person, you have to be ok with them being the same as they are right now. However there are rare exceptions.

 

[Lake]

From my experiences I've discovered "non-practising catholic" is code for non-christian. Becareful persuing a romantic relationship. I've also learned that if the person is open to religious discussions they are often really open to finding out what Christ could really mean to them. It is not easy being paired with someone who will not be growing with you in your faith. That is valid for both relationships with christians and non-christians.

your code may need adjusting. I have many friends not practicing their "religion" and are very good Christians.
you don't need to be housed up in a "religion" to know Christ. whoops,if I step on your toes.

As far as this 18 year old asking for direction-I read your post twice and you seem to have all the right answers. I think you know what you're doing.

 

[Straightnarrow]

Thanks for your responses everyone. Pretty much I am just going to be cautious for a while and just enjoy being friends with this girl. After that...well I'll just have to wait and see where God takes it. Thanks again guys.

 

[fishstix]

If she's not practicing her religion, then chances are that she might be open to converting to yours. That's something that you'll probably want to discuss with her if things start to get serious.

 

[AceHero]

From my experiences I've discovered "non-practising catholic" is code for non-christian. Becareful persuing a romantic relationship. I've also learned that if the person is open to religious discussions they are often really open to finding out what Christ could really mean to them. It is not easy being paired with someone who will not be growing with you in your faith. That is valid for both relationships with christians and non-christians.

You beat me to it, and you're right. It's one thing if you're interested in a non-practicing Christian, but when asked about their faith, I think a lot of people will answer, "Oh, I'm Catholic," and that's that. I think that's what a lot of Catholics around the world are like, unfortunately. They've never heard the salvation message presented at church and therefore never receive it.

But if she is indeed a Christian, she should be comfortable talking about her faith with a fellow believer. Approach her about it and try to find out what her core beliefs are.

 

[YouthPastor]

If she's not practicing her religion, then chances are that she might be open to converting to yours. That's something that you'll probably want to discuss with her if things start to get serious.

Missionary dating! not exactly the best thing to do.

Be freinds yes. get involved romantically - no

 

[JulySheMustFly]

your code may need adjusting. I have many friends not practicing their "religion" and are very good Christians.
you don't need to be housed up in a "religion" to know Christ. whoops,if I step on your toes.

No toes stepped on. As mentioned it was my experience and experiences run different for everyone.

 

[ByLoveAndGrace]

Without having read all the previous posts, these are my thoughts.

- First of all, In my past I have dated many non christians, christians, and catholics. Non practicing in fact. I have found that I have not been able to focus on God, until the one I am in now... which is very much a christian relationship.
- Christian relationships are wayy better, because you can focus on God together, and encourage each other in your relationship, and be there to help each other out.
- From my experience, I have grown stronger with God in this relationship than in any other.
- God works in miraculous ways... I say my best opinion would be to pray for the girl. I would say don't get involved in a relationship until you know whether or not she is going to be able to follow God, and be there as an encouragement to your own walk with God. If God wants you to be with her, then your prayers will be answered reflecting that... All you can do is pray, and know that God will work everything toward his plan.

 

[intricatic]

In my experience, non-practicing simply means non-Churchgoing. In which case, I would mostly be non-practicing right now, even though I engage in spiritual discussions with friends until they get sick of me right now.

And my dad, which is a different story, encourages this behavior. It's terrible.

 

[Alenci]

If she's open to conversations about her spiritual life as you said, then pursue that. Have long talks about it. Try to understand where she's coming from, what she believes, what kind of relationship she has with God, the status of her prayer life, what she thinks of your beliefs, etc. If I were in your shoes, I would remain close friends until I knew more about her spiritual life. If, after all that, you find that she is very open to growth and seeking a deeper relationship with her Lord, then it's probably safe to proceed. I don't see anything wrong with relationships between people at different levels of spiritual maturity, provided they are real Christians. It is likely that the more mature Christian will educate and uplift the other, rather than the weaker pulling the stronger down (as happens so often in relationships between a believer and an unbeliever).

 

[sherri]

Missionary dating! not exactly the best thing to do.

Be freinds yes. get involved romantically - no

Missionary dating is a good way to describe it. It's as easy to fall in love with non-christians as it is with christians. It's also incredibly easy to justify things to yourself over the relationship and end up marrying them. Then find yourself with a non-christian spouse and one who isn't interested in becoming a christian.

I ended up in nearly exactly your situation for the same reasons. Missonary dating. I was convinced the guy was just on the verge of faith. Actually he was walking away from it. He had christian values and I thought he was a virgin and so I trusted him. It turned out he only had some christian values and he really took me for a ride and took advantage of my naivety. I was totally in love with him (he was the only guy I'd ever met who completly understood me - and unfortunatly he used it to take advantage.) Luckily I didn't sleep with him but if I'd stuck around it would have happened. But even if it hadn't and I stuck around anyway and he married me (which he was never going to do). The marriage would have been a total disaster.

Never, never, never again.

My advice is to pray and put it in Gods hands 'ie - God if this isn't a good relationship for me, I give you full permission to end it or prevent it from growing. I submit my will and allow your will to be done in this situation.

Praying that prayer has saved me a lot of heartache since. I didn't know to pray it at the beginning of that relationship but I prayed it at the end and God just stepped in time and time again and cut the whole thing off.

Relationships are one area you really, really want to submit to him in. Seriously.