Relationship problem Lord HELP

[marcus817]

Hello everyone

Me and my gf been in a relationship for 3 years.
we've spent time together for 2 years in the same country...
and ever since i left the country we communicated via skype,
facebook etc. i then became a christian then i visited her
six months ago then i told her about the gospel and she
accepted christ as her saviour.
and then i went back to my country leaving her so we'd chat on
skype every other day. i sent her a bible and The Purpose driven
life book to read. Then everytime we chat i'd ask her about
the things she learned but would say random stuff that reminds
me of what i was when i was an unbeliever pretending to be a
believer just to get away with things. i feel like she's not
growing spiritually and not putting God first and then our
relationship. Its like for her Our relationship first and then
God.. I also dont see change in her actions or the way she
carries herself. she still wears sexy clothings, would skip
church for a pageant in her workplace... i feel like she's only
attending church cause i'd get angry if she didnt...she has sent
me txt messages once in a while of bible verses.

another problem is that ever since she's admitted having sex
with her manager cheating on his past bf, i couldnt get it off
my head. worst part is she still works there and now im so
paranoid that sometimes i think she's probably doing the same
now....offcourse this is my problem and not hers. she's been
forgiven by accepting christ.

i'm gonna go visit her again next month. i feel like spying
on her for couple days to see if she's cheating. i need some
advice,... i also feel like breaking up with her so we could
focus more on the lord and then get back together
God willing.

i need some christian advice

 

[If Not For Grace]

Trust is the most important thing in a relationship & regardless of who/what/why--you do not trust her-THE END

 

[Bella Vita]

I think you may be on to some issues. But you don't need to shove her out the door just yet because your mind is wondering that is not fair especially if she really is trying she may not know how. I know when I first became a believer my boyfriend now husband did not believe me he would get frustrated with me. I really wanted to grow and learn but genuinely didn't know where to start. I had no upbringing in church and was starting from nothing. I struggled with how to make it work for awhile it wasn't until two years ago I really knew what it means to have a relationship with Christ I was just kinda going through the motions because I didn't understand. Purpose Driven Life may not have been a good start she may need something a little more basic or a daily devotional that breaks it down step by step on how to read and understand the Bible. It can all be really overwhelming if you have never been taught any of it. But just because she isn't educated in it doesn't mean her heart is wrong or that she doesn't want to understand. Look at her past her, the way you ask her, what you ask her, give her simpler materials that she can understand. Or just bring all of this up to her and see what she says you may be surprised to find out you are wrong. Not to mention she has no support system especially because you are not there and that makes things tough. When you go visit her make a point to get her plugged into a women's group so she can start making Christian friends, and having a support system around her she can grow and be discipled in. Sometimes learning how to be a Christian is by just watching other people do it and saying "oh ok I get that". As well as having other women she can discuss scripture with Bible study with ask questions hold her accountable all of that stuff that you can't be there for.

Good Luck and stop letting your mind wonder get this figured out by communicating with her ASAP it may not be that bad at all. =]

 

[marcus817]

I have to admit. It could just be me and my imagination coz Trust is my issue. i went to prison for it when i was an unbeliever, i trusted the wrong person (snitch). its probably why its hard for me to trust her and what she says. Although she was there, visiting me in prison every week, making the sacrifice of a long journey after work. Thats why its hard for me to just let her go cause we had many memories together. I just want her to experience the Joy that im getting from knowing the Lord. What makes it hard for me is that she's surrounded by tempation at her workplace (drinkin, partying, men) and at home shes got a family that drinks every weekend. i used to drink with her father till we got drunk but after i came to know the lord, i stopped drinking....

Im gonna try to get her in a womens group when i go next month....i really hope she's trying and not just doing it cause i told her so

 

[marcus817]

Proverbs 3:5,6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not depend on your own understanding; Seek his will in all you do and He will show you which path to take.

I'll continue to live by this verse. I know i dont trust her completely but i love her. i dont understand it but i'll leave it to the lord. Praise God for yet another trial in my life. I once prayed for an exciting life and he answered my prayers. Trials make life exciting after lookin back and saying "oh is that what your trying to tell me Lord"

 

[Osage Bluestem]

You can encourage someone else but you can't control them. Don't even try.

 

[riverhooks]

True . Some things are not in your control. Loving someone is a matter of choice. Realistically if she has been unfaithful to the Lord as well as you regarding sex outside of marriage. I think you will need to avoid some obvious pitfalls I learned the hardway. Thankfully I had good counsel . First of all favor is deceitful. All our hearts are deceitful I ran after a sister I was convinced I loved more than anyone in the world two years of Hell on earth. My affections were committed to her. Big mistake . I learned years later to Keep your heart with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life. Your heart is like made of glass if you give it to someone and it is not the Lord's will they will drop it for sure . Keep your heart ( with all diligence ) going into a relationship guard your affections . You trust God , casting all your care upon him giving him your heart and your affections. Another Brother said if you love someone you will give them up for what is best for them . That is really hard to see when your young with raging hormones and have committed your affections to a woman. God so loved the world that he gave, so if you really love this person you will have to love her enough to give her up for what is best for her. Guess what ? In my case it wasn't me . It was the mate God had for her. I discovered what it was to be free of a very grievous self inflicted tribulation and brother did I tribulate. I discovered once I got to the point of giving her up for what was best for her. Guess what ? I survived and I was just obsessed with her. When I found myself in a situation where I wanted to ask a Sister out and she refused I wasn't heart broken . I kept my heart and did not commit my emotions to an uncertain outcome. Except the Lord builds the House they labor in vain that build it. The blessing of the Lord it makes rich and he does not add sorrow with it. You shall have no other Gods before him. The first commandment is to Love the Lord your God with all of your heart soul mind and strength. You'll get there . God works over our lifetime . Maybe He is waiting for you to die to your self ? Maybe what she needs is who the Lord has for her . Seek His Face not His Hand, Amigo. All the best .