Relationship OCD and Scrupulosity

[FlowersArePretty]

So, a lot of my OCD obsessions have lately been around my relationship with God and my relationship with my boyfriend. So as you can imagine, these being two of the most important parts of my life, I am really struggling right now. My worry is that I am sinning by being with my boyfriend, because he isn’t “Christian enough” and that I am rebelling against God by being with him, and am therefore not truly saved. I worry that if I were to die while being in a relationship with him that I would be sent to hell. I feel like this is my OCD, but I worry that it isn’t, or that it’s God telling me to do something and I am ignoring it. I am really worried about this because I love my boyfriend and I don’t want to lose him, but at the same time, more than anything, I don’t want to displease God. I want to do whatever it is He wants me to do. I am just worried that being with my boyfriend is displeasing God. These thoughts started about a month ago and I get so much anxiety about it. I worry that the only way to get rid of the anxiety is to break up with my boyfriend, but I don’t know if that is the right thing to do because I really have felt like he would be the one I marry, you know, like I don’t want to be with someone else. I really want to be with him. But at the same time if I knew God was telling me to do something like break up with him, I would do it. I am really confused and anxious about this. I think it’s OCD but at the same time I don’t want to write it off as that if it isn’t. Can anyone relate? I need help!

 

[Gods warrior 1]

Yes we tend to obsess about the things that matter most to us. Assuming you have accepted Jesus as your savior and Lord nothing can ever stop you entering heaven. You are God's child no matter what and this includes any sin you may commit in the future.

Ask God for wisdom re your boyfriend. God will give you wisdom through His word, peace in your heart and other people. Is there someone you trust who you can talk to?

About your scrupulosity google scrupulosity Grantley Morris he has some good christian material.

God loves you. Keep praising Him and confessing scripture I finds help. I have the same challenge as you I understand.
Julia

 

[BeckyAD]

The question I would ask is whether or not this "Christian enough" thing is legitimate.

For example is he not Christian enough because he is living a life of unrepentant sin? Or do you feel he is not Christian enough but do not understand why? What is it about your boyfriend that is not Christian enough?

 

[1ofGodsChildren]

I don't know what you mean by "isn't christian enough". There is no middle. Someone is a believer in Jesus or not. I went through this about a month ago. It was different than my other OCD stuff though. In my case however these women were not committed Christians. So I've learned I can't date anyone who isn't a committed one. If that makes sense.

Christians aren't perfect though. Christ is our righteousness. If you are looking for a "perfect" boyfriend then your not going to find one, lol. However if you have a boyfriend who is striving and struggling like we do to serve Christ then praise God for him. If he isn't then you know what God says, 2 Corinthians 6:14.

It's hard to tell from your information of it's OCD or not. I have no idea what your relationship is like.

 

[1ofGodsChildren]

FlowersArePretty I just want to add one more thing. Salvation doesn't depend on us at all but sin can rob us from it's joy. This is what is so hard IMO about our OCD. I would encourage you to just ask God to make it clear to you what is going on. Then wait on Him to show you. He will. I can honestly say when I ask Him to let me see my thoughts for what they are He enables me to see how ridiculous I am. Sometimes I laugh at myself and sometimes it makes me feel bad that I didn't realize it was OCD. My point is I know we don't like to wait but God will show us the truth about anything in His time.

If this is OCD He will show you.

 

[Hrlitster]

I’m going through EXACTLY the same thing!! I’m scared and I’m trying to push through it. Thank you for putting this question out there! Just knowing that someone else has been where I am is comforting. The scary thing is the uncertainty of whether or not it is anxiety or the Spirit. I believe that if it is anxiety, it is not from God because God does not give us the spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7). Even though I know this, it is still massively difficult and completely overwhelming during time when the anxiety hits and you feel so much pain in your heart and chest, like a mix between guilt and panic and depression. NOT FUN. I’m trying to learn to let these feelings pass through me and not let myself make decisions, especially about my relationship, from this dark, dark place. Thinking about getting therapy if it worsens.

 

[Mari17]

I’m going through EXACTLY the same thing!! I’m scared and I’m trying to push through it. Thank you for putting this question out there! Just knowing that someone else has been where I am is comforting. The scary thing is the uncertainty of whether or not it is anxiety or the Spirit. I believe that if it is anxiety, it is not from God because God does not give us the spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7). Even though I know this, it is still massively difficult and completely overwhelming during time when the anxiety hits and you feel so much pain in your heart and chest, like a mix between guilt and panic and depression. NOT FUN. I’m trying to learn to let these feelings pass through me and not let myself make decisions, especially about my relationship, from this dark, dark place. Thinking about getting therapy if it worsens.

Hello! Thank you for sharing! ROCD is a very very common type of obsession, although oddly I've never had it myself (I feel like I've had just about every other obsession, though!). I wanted to offer to share helpful websites and resources for OCD, if you feel like you need any. I think going to therapy is a great option too, if you feel you need it, but there's also lots you can do to learn about and treat OCD on your own. If you do go for therapy, consider looking for an OCD specialist - CBT (specifically ERP) therapy is thought to be the best treatment for OCD, as opposed to just talk therapy.