• The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.

    If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.

    If you have spiritual issues related to a mental health and recovery issue, please use the Recovery Related Spiritual Advice forum. This forum is designed to be like Christian Advice, only for recovery type of issues. Recovery being like a family in many ways, allows us to support one another together. May you be blessed today and each day.

    Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist

  • Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

  • CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.

relationship issues

somuch4love

Member
Apr 5, 2006
10
1
Washington
✟22,635.00
Faith
Messianic
Politics
US-Republican
hello
I seem to mess up every relationship i have ever been in...i know this is an exzaggeration because i have friends......but i'm still hurting from being dumped by my boyfriend and I just feel so lonely and unwanted......

people always leave me and treat me bad.....but I always get way to emotional and stuff and I've found myself separated from the people i love the most......

and i miss them but they don't even talk to me anymore,and it is probably my fault...he was friendly to me at first when he dumped me but i kept getting angry at him and what not and now he doesn't even talk to me.

has anyone been through this or have anything good to say?

i personally feel like giving up on my dream of finding someone to marry because he was perfect for me and now he hates me.
 
  • Like
Reactions: saerow

mmreed

... by His wounds you are healed!
Feb 25, 2005
493
32
✟23,301.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
Politics
US-Republican
ive been there... each time someone left I thought I lost the perfect one for me, and felt lost alone and abandoned. I felt that I would never be able to meet someone again.

But even tough I hated hearing it, and thought it wasnt true each time.. the saying TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS is true.

Each time I ended up meeting someone else and being very happy...till finally that perfect one really did show up.

Keep in mind - THE PERFECT ONE IS THE ONE THAT STAYS AROUND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE ;)
 
Upvote 0

saerow

Member
Mar 27, 2006
16
1
Pensacola, FL
✟22,641.00
Faith
Atheist
Marital Status
Private
I've been through situations like this before. What hurts the worst is when someone breaks all contact suddenly without giving any reason at all.

I don't think that you can discover a perfect person, but that you work through difficulties and differences to create good relationships. It's not going to just happen magically when you meet the 'right one.' If it did, I'd be pretty worried that it might just fall apart as quickly as it came together.

It's good to try to see things from his point of view. Try to understand why he doesn't think it will work out. Sometimes someone you're attracted to just doesn't feel the same, or isn't ready for that kind of relationship. Either way, just because someone dumps you doesn't mean that they hate you. You can still be friends with an ex, but getting angry or overly depressed about the breakup can ruin what could have been a great friendship.

There's many other people in the world that could be your friends or even more, so don't worry if a few turn out hating you, just get to know some more people. Learn from mistakes and think about the consequences of your actions.
 
Upvote 0
A

Anti Existance

Guest
Fear is a state of hell that keeps you imprisoned.

Doing nothing results in nothing, persistance is the key to succes. What matters is not that this relationship has failed, winning or losing in life isn't important, the biggest thing we have to learn is that we should go for gold in our lives, and move on. No matter how many times the wall we build falls and crumbles, we must review and learn what happend, and then build it even more powerfull and stronger, and at one point it will be so strong that it will stand no matter what is thrown at it.

You must have this wall of resistance, and unwillingness to give up within your heart. NEVER GIVE UP!.

Everybody has free will, you can't force someone to stay with you, you can only try to create 'conditions' of love that makes another person wants to stay with you.

Keep putting love and light in the relationship on a continues basis. Remember never to go into a relationship expecting it to work out just because it conserns your case , reality is that a guy can pack his bags and leave anyday.

But more important , show you have a life of your own to live, independant of guys. That way you won't go into desperation like you are doing now, Of course it will always hurt, but you should always love him, but be realistical too, that its over, and oh well there's plenty of more fish in the sea.

I suggest you pick up the pieces of your heart, glue them together, give yourself time to heal, and then move on with your life.

What is more at fault is your auto-assuming, that if you marry that you will be happy. A relationship is a continues investment of love and light into the other person.

Small arguments can lead to BIG break ups. So NEVER in your life put darkness and/or hatred into someone elses life, because it will spread a wave of negativity to others.
 
Upvote 0

trustgod

Regular Member
Jan 30, 2006
268
11
Port of Indecision
✟22,969.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
Politics
US-Republican
somuch4love said:
hello
I seem to mess up every relationship i have ever been in...i know this is an exzaggeration because i have friends......but i'm still hurting from being dumped by my boyfriend and I just feel so lonely and unwanted......

people always leave me and treat me bad.....but I always get way to emotional and stuff and I've found myself separated from the people i love the most......

and i miss them but they don't even talk to me anymore,and it is probably my fault...he was friendly to me at first when he dumped me but i kept getting angry at him and what not and now he doesn't even talk to me.

has anyone been through this or have anything good to say?

i personally feel like giving up on my dream of finding someone to marry because he was perfect for me and now he hates me.

Hi somuch4love,

I can definitely relate to you, having been through the exact same thing recently. In my case, it was simply a friendship that ended up with my friend refusing to acknowledge my existence.

I'm afraid I don't have a solution or magic bullet for your situation, as I'm trying to work through mine. All I can really say is to ask yourself if you would treat someone else that way, and if not, is that really the kind of person you want in your life? No one is perfect, but no one deserves that sort of treatment. I'm dealing with my situation by recognizing that maybe my friend wasn't really a friend after all.

Blessings
 
Upvote 0

RomanPrincess

Regular Member
Jan 8, 2006
427
12
✟15,620.00
Faith
Christian
gosh....im so sorry .
I understand how you feel and what you have been through.....i've been there.
God has someone better in mind for you.
It might help to look at things alittle differently ....people come into our lives for 3 different reasons.
1) a reason.( God sends someone into our life for a reason, to teach us something or to answer a need or a prayer. However,Realizing that need or prayer has been fulfilled now and that person may choose to leave)
2) a season( a period of time)
3) a lifetime.
What you have to do is figure out why and which area the person who has left you fits into. If the guy won't speak to you ,then,it is time to let all this go and move on now.God has a better plan and someone better in mind for you.
it always helps me to think of these things when i go through something like this......sometimes emotions can get out of control or lead someone and the results may not be what we hoped for.Emotions are good and God gave them to us for seasons...try not to be lead by them.It is better to control the emotions than the emotions control the person.
Hope this helps some....God Bless.
 
Upvote 0

somuch4love

Member
Apr 5, 2006
10
1
Washington
✟22,635.00
Faith
Messianic
Politics
US-Republican
you guys are right........I did everything wrong and i ruined a perfectly good friendship.

I thought that being angry at him and telling him i hated him, he was stupid, he lied bla bla bla would make me feel better, but it didn't.

now someone i love doesn't even talk to me anymore and we will probably never see each other again.

i'm sad.
 
Upvote 0

trustgod

Regular Member
Jan 30, 2006
268
11
Port of Indecision
✟22,969.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
Politics
US-Republican
somuch4love said:
you guys are right........I did everything wrong and i ruined a perfectly good friendship.

I thought that being angry at him and telling him i hated him, he was stupid, he lied bla bla bla would make me feel better, but it didn't.
Rarely is that the path to reconciliation (you or someone else), but I'm sure you realize that now. I'm sorry things turned out this way. Pray over it and hopefully in time, things will improve. It did with me.
 
Upvote 0

QuantaCura

Rejoice always.
Aug 17, 2005
9,164
958
44
✟36,762.00
Faith
Catholic
Once you are satisfied solely with the love of Christ--it is all you need--He will create within you a fountain of love that will pour forth and you will be able to truly love others. So, use this single time to strengthen and improve your relationship with Him--then you will be able to have good relationships with others :)
 
Upvote 0