relationship advice

[Joyous85]

I am/was involved in an interracial relationship. It was my first year in college last year and I met this wonderful Christian guy who I became friends with and eventually ended up in a relationship with him. I began telling my mother about what was going on and after a while she just told me that she didnt want me in a relationship. At the time I didnt see us as being in a relationship. I was a bit confused because it wasnt like she hated him, she actually said that he seemed nice. I didnt listen bc i thought I could handle a relationship at the time. However, what ended up happening was that the guy and I became physical. We didnt have sex, but the relationship became a bit more involved than I anticipated. This put strains on our relationship but we didnt end the physical part. I was confused and disappointed in myself. I began praying about it, I knew it was wrong, i just didnt know how to end it. After praying, I realized that we need a break but it was still difficult to end. On the day I finally decided this is it, I saw break through. He apologized for the wrong and we talked and he decided that he wanted everything we do to be for God. I was happy but I still think we need a break. However, my mom is saying that she wants me to have nothing to do with him. This was after we had many arguments about me being with him. (She does not know about the physical part). I dont want to end it completely but I still dont know what to do. Any suggestions....

 

[SumTinWong]

Your first response is usually the best. Take a break from the relationship, and be open and honest with the guy and tell him that for now, you have to this for yourself and for your mom. The Bible does say to honor our mothers and fathers, and if he wants everything to be good with God in this relationship, he had better respect that part of it.

Just my two cents.

 

[caitlincares]

I guess I do not understand why you brought up the interracial aspect of the relationship.
Is this really two issues?

It is probably best you have a break and if you get back together have a lot more communication about boundaries.
And stick to them. And if either of you can not walk away.
God should be honored in all relationships.

 

[desi]

Marry him or move on.

 

[Johnnz]

A good break will allow a lot of rethinking to take place

John
NZ

 

[TheMainException]

There is something that your mom isn't telling you. As much as I believe in honoring your parents, it is your life...but if your mom isn't adult-enough to say why she thinks that you shouldn't go out with this guy, you really have to sit your mom down and talk to her. Try to understand why she doesn't want you to go out with this guy or even be out with him at all. Parents have been through the whole relationship thing and know when something seems amuck...so, sit her down and chat with her about it...see if you can't try and understand her point of view. Otherwise, I would continue to go out with this guy, unless, of course, things begin to get more than kissing and such...as soon as it involves genitals, you've crossed the line...

 

[TheMainException]

Marry him or move on.

What kind of post is that????

Relationships aren't just about marraige or nothing...and such a thing requires lots of thought and a new level on a relationship...

 

[forgivenmuch]

very true lawise.. very bad advice there ..desi... sorry i do not agree with that..
i would suggest that you take time for yourself.. if thats who God wants you with..then you will be together.. dont worry be happy.. take time for yourself right now.

 

[bliz]

Has your Mother told you why she does not want you to see him?

 

[JVD]

Who is paying for your college? You parents or you? If your parents are even just helping you with college then they have a right to say that you shouldn't be in a relationship. That will take emotional, mental and physical energy away from your college work.

If you are completely independent of your parents, then you should still honor their advice in that you should consider it but are not obligated to obey it.

Bottom line:...if your parents are paying for your college, or even helping you pay for your college, you have an obligation to them to do the best you can while there. That means focusing on college and not on a relationship.

This can also be a reason that you give your boyfriend for why you need a break from the relationship.