Relationship Advice...pleeease Answer

[grebeka]

Me (I'm 22) and this guy (he's 23) haven't been talking long at all (LESS THAN A MONTH).. He got me roses and came to drop them off and I offered him to come in for a little.. Things were cool between us... But he's too rough with me... When we play around hes rough. My wrists were killing me cause he would grab them hard.... It's like I'm a female calm down.. and dude is strong compared to me. I told him he's a lot stronger than I am and he said " no ur just being dramatic" well he's just very rough and stubborn & I have a bad vibe coming from him. He also lacks respect and swears like a sailor even around my mom that he JUST met.. I know I can't change him but I'm sure if he respected me he will respect my wishes , right ?? . l do not want him to think he can control me AT ALL. cause Im not down with that.. my question to you is ... HOW DO I Let him know what I think of him. HOW DO I GO ABOUT PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN? I've been in a abusive relationship before and I'm just fearful of it happening again..

Ps. He doesn't believe in God.

 

[CabVet]

Personally, I would stay away from this guy, but you posted this is the wrong area. I will ask the mods to move this to the relationship advice forum where you will probably get better advice.

 

[grebeka]

Ok thank you.

 

[tangled]

My answer depends on if you believe in God and Jesus as your savior.

 

[FrenchyBearpaw]

This guy sounds like nothing but trouble. Run.

 

[grebeka]

I Plan,on It , Thnx

 

[Phred]

My answer doesn't depend on Jesus at all. Run.

Guys like this don't respect boundaries and you can't teach him.

Run.

 

[TerranceL]

What Phred said.

 

[AV1611VET]

I've been in a abusive relationship before and I'm just fearful of it happening again..

Ps. He doesn't believe in God.

Look for these signs the next time anyone comes to your door with flowers:

1. Does he push for quick involvement?
2. Is he frequently jealous?
3. Is he controlling?
4. Does he have unrealistic expectations?
5. Does he come between your family and friends?
6. Does he accuse your supporters of 'causing trouble'?
7. Does he blame others for problems or mistakes?
8. Does he accuse others for his feelings? ("You make me angry," instead of, "I'm angry!")
9. Is he hypersensitive?
10. Does he exhibit cruelty to animals?
11. Is he overly playful?
12. Does he exhibit sudden mood swings?
13. Is he verbally abusive?

P.S. Keep in mind that these types are everywhere; be very careful who you let in your house, whether he is bringing you roses or not.

 

[CabVet]

Look for these signs the next time an atheist comes to your door with flowers:

1. Does he push for quick involvement?
2. Is he frequently jealous?
3. Is he controlling?
4. Does he have unrealistic expectations?
5. Does he come between your family and friends?
6. Does he accuse your supporters of 'causing trouble'?
7. Does he blame others for problems or mistakes?
8. Does he accuse others for his feelings? ("You make me angry," instead of, "I'm angry!")
9. Is he hypersensitive?
10. Does he exhibit cruelty to animals?
11. Is he overly playful?
12. Does he exhibit sudden mood swings?
13. Is he verbally abusive?

P.S. Keep in mind that atheists are everywhere; be very careful who you let in your house, whether he is bringing you roses or not.

This kind of stereotyping just infuriates me. The most abusive man I have ever met was not only a devout Christian, but also a singer that lead the Church in singing every Sunday. He would do that and come home to his wife to beat her up. Yet, I would never associate Christians in general (or any other religious, or non-religious, or racial group) to this despicable behavior.

 

[FrenchyBearpaw]

Look for these signs the next time an atheist comes to your door with flowers:

1. Does he push for quick involvement?
2. Is he frequently jealous?
3. Is he controlling?
4. Does he have unrealistic expectations?
5. Does he come between your family and friends?
6. Does he accuse your supporters of 'causing trouble'?
7. Does he blame others for problems or mistakes?
8. Does he accuse others for his feelings? ("You make me angry," instead of, "I'm angry!")
9. Is he hypersensitive?
10. Does he exhibit cruelty to animals?
11. Is he overly playful?
12. Does he exhibit sudden mood swings?
13. Is he verbally abusive?

P.S. Keep in mind that atheists are everywhere; be very careful who you let in your house, whether he is bringing you roses or not.

And what signs should you look for in pedophile priests? Or polygamous Mormons? Or drug using evangelical preachers?

 

[Cute Tink]

AV1611VET, normally I don't mind your rather unique posts, but I think you are being both unhelpful with your remarks here re: atheists and rather offensive in one move. I would suggest that you retract that portion at least.

I agree with all other posters here: this guy is nothing but trouble and you should simply tell him in no uncertain terms that you are not interested and you don't want to see him again. And don't let him sweet talk you about how he'll change. If he changes later, more power to him, but I would never trust a guy who acts like that towards you.

 

[AV1611VET]

This kind of stereotyping just infuriates me.

-- Eh?

The most abusive man I have ever met was not only a devout Christian, but also a singer that lead the Church in singing every Sunday. He would do that and come home to his wife to beat her up. Yet, I would never associate Christians in general (or any other religious, or non-religious, or racial group) to this despicable behavior.

Neither did I, chief.

Should I have said "anyone", rather than "atheist", when she herself mentioned he didn't believe in God?

And for the record, my dad beat me and my sister often; yet he went to church every Sunday, and his friends in the congregation couldn't understand why "such a great Christian man's wife" wouldn't attend church with him.

HOWEVER, he got saved before he died, and asked us for forgiveness.

 

[AV1611VET]

And what signs should you look for in pedophile priests? Or polygamous Mormons? Or drug using evangelical preachers?

The same signs that apply to atheists, apply to non-atheists as well.

 

[AV1611VET]

AV1611VET, normally I don't mind your rather unique posts, but I think you are being both unhelpful with your remarks here re: atheists and rather offensive in one move. I would suggest that you retract that portion at least.

-- Consider it done.

I agree with all other posters here: this guy is nothing but trouble and you should simply tell him in no uncertain terms that you are not interested and you don't want to see him again. And don't let him sweet talk you about how he'll change. If he changes later, more power to him, but I would never trust a guy who acts like that towards you.

I'm not telling him anything -- he doesn't come to my door; and if someone does bring me flowers, it better be my funeral.

 

[CabVet]

Should I have said "anyone", rather than "atheist", when she herself mentioned he didn't believe in God?

Yes, his beliefs (or lack thereof) have nothing to do with his attitude.

 

[Cute Tink]

-- Consider it done.

Thanks

I'm not telling him anything -- he doesn't come to my door; and if someone does bring me flowers, it better be my funeral.

lol. You know that was for the OP.

And I'll cancel the flowers I was having delivered.

 

[MattRose]

Personally, I would stay away from this guy, but you posted this is the wrong area. I will ask the mods to move this to the relationship advice forum where you will probably get better advice.

No she posted in the exact right place- Physical and Life Science. That guy is going to get so physical one day that you'll lose your life. Science... sorry couldn't fit that in anywhere.

Seriously, what you described shows you with more of a problem than him. He's a future wife-beater and you appear to be his future wife. The fact that you are asking what to do and not running from this ass shows you don't have the capacity to see what most people see in a split second regarding a very bad situation. You should call an abuse hotline. They're pros, we're only anonyomous idiots despensing dubious advice.

 

[AV1611VET]

And I'll cancel the flowers I was having delivered.

-- Cute, Tink!

 

[Naraoia]

And what signs should you look for in pedophile priests? Or polygamous Mormons? Or drug using evangelical preachers?

I'm not sure polygamy or even drug use should be in the same list as paedophily...