Relationship advice needed

[Tango2000]

So I'm 17, don't smoke, drink, do drugs, etc. I'm Pentecostal and in church 5-6 times a week. I've never had a boyfriend before.

Anyway, I met this guy who is 16, and he's amazing. He loves the Lord with all of his heart, he doesn't smoke, drink, do drugs either. We believe exactly the same. He's never had a girlfriend. He let me wear his jacket when it started to rain, he wouldn't let me touch a door, he threw his arm out to catch me if I tripped on a step, he even pretended to be my boyfriend the second day we met because a creepy guy was bugging me.

He asked for my number the night we met, and I gave it to him. We talk and text all the time. He invited me to a dance. He's taking me to the beach. He said I was a beautiful, amazing person. He told me that we didn't meet by chance. The way we looked at each other was magical.

So in wake of all this, and me falling for him hard, I told him I had a crush on him. He told me I was incredible, beautiful, funny, pure, virtuous woman of God and that I was one of his favorite people, but he doesn't want a relationship. I was absolutely shocked. He said that he didn't deserve me, and any man would be blessed to have me. Then he went on to say that he hopes we can still be best friends.

Help

 

[Tango2000]

He also agreed that we were equally yoked.

 

[A_Thinker]

So I'm 17, don't smoke, drink, do drugs, etc. I'm Pentecostal and in church 5-6 times a week. I've never had a boyfriend before.

Anyway, I met this guy who is 16, and he's amazing. He loves the Lord with all of his heart, he doesn't smoke, drink, do drugs either. We believe exactly the same. He's never had a girlfriend. He let me wear his jacket when it started to rain, he wouldn't let me touch a door, he threw his arm out to catch me if I tripped on a step, he even pretended to be my boyfriend the second day we met because a creepy guy was bugging me.

He asked for my number the night we met, and I gave it to him. We talk and text all the time. He invited me to a dance. He's taking me to the beach. He said I was a beautiful, amazing person. He told me that we didn't meet by chance. The way we looked at each other was magical.

So in wake of all this, and me falling for him hard, I told him I had a crush on him. He told me I was incredible, beautiful, funny, pure, virtuous woman of God and that I was one of his favorite people, but he doesn't want a relationship. I was absolutely shocked. He said that he didn't deserve me, and any man would be blessed to have me. Then he went on to say that he hopes we can still be best friends.

Help

Maybe he's saying that he's not ready for anything more than the friendship you have right now.

So ... be friends. My wife and I were friends long before we progressed in our relationship ...

 

[All4Christ]

I agree with @A_Thinker . That said, don't become friends with him with the expectation that it will lead to more than friendship. It is important for marriages to be formed on a foundation of friendship, but it is also important to not be friends with the primary goal of dating, unless that is the goal of you both. I didn't date anyone until I was 18, and honestly I wish I hadn't rushed on it, despite me being older than some others. I met my husband when I was 23 and dated him for about 8 years! Trust God and be patient I know that's easier said than done though.

 

[Traveling teacher]

that kid is a wise christian boy....
best to stay friends for now!!!!

you never know what the future holds....
i have heard of friends getting back together 5-10 years later and getting married!!!!

Trust it to be in Gods hands

 

[stuart lawrence]

.

 

[RaymondG]

This means that you are marriage material, so this is good. Unfortunately, most 16 year old, dont want to get married. They want to have fun with someone, fool around for a bit and then get married later in their mid-late twenties. So, most teens, when looking for a GF, put, looks and personality before Virtuosity bible reading skills.

I would also try to practice, not falling so hard and fast......although easier said than done.....this will save some heartache in the future....And a lot of guys prefer the one that doesnt want them....over them that do......e.g. prefer to be the chaser.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

He also agreed that we were equally yoked.

The most important thing to consider before dating or marrying one.

At your age especially -- take it very slow and enjoy the friendship of this Christian (young) man.

It's a blessing to have close friends such as these.

M-Bob

 

[turkle]

If I'm not mistaken, I think this is the second or third boy you've asked advice about in the past month. You seem to be anxious to have a boyfriend.

On the other hand, this boy you now have a crush on sounds like he is quite wise. Rushing into things is never a good idea. You need to get past the infatuation stage and really know a person well, so it is good that he is honest about not being ready.

I think the best thing for you to do is to slow down and enjoy his friendship. You are very young, and your focus should be on school.

 

[Sketcher]

Sorry to hear that. It happens. There's no fixing it. You just need to move on and keep living for God. Eventually, what you're feeling for this guy will fade.

 

[aiki]

So I'm 17, don't smoke, drink, do drugs, etc. I'm Pentecostal and in church 5-6 times a week. I've never had a boyfriend before.

Anyway, I met this guy who is 16, and he's amazing. He loves the Lord with all of his heart, he doesn't smoke, drink, do drugs either. We believe exactly the same. He's never had a girlfriend. He let me wear his jacket when it started to rain, he wouldn't let me touch a door, he threw his arm out to catch me if I tripped on a step, he even pretended to be my boyfriend the second day we met because a creepy guy was bugging me.

He asked for my number the night we met, and I gave it to him. We talk and text all the time. He invited me to a dance. He's taking me to the beach. He said I was a beautiful, amazing person. He told me that we didn't meet by chance. The way we looked at each other was magical.

So in wake of all this, and me falling for him hard, I told him I had a crush on him. He told me I was incredible, beautiful, funny, pure, virtuous woman of God and that I was one of his favorite people, but he doesn't want a relationship. I was absolutely shocked. He said that he didn't deserve me, and any man would be blessed to have me. Then he went on to say that he hopes we can still be best friends.

Help

Proverbs 4:23
23 Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.

If all that it takes to sweep you off your feet are the things you've described, you are not following the advice of this verse. You should be a hard-won "prize," a woman whose heart requires careful, persistent, holy effort to be won.

You threw your heart at this guy and are discovering, on the bitter end of your experience with him, the wisdom of the verse above.

What is the point of embarking on a romantic relationship with a guy you aren't prepared to marry anyway? Why play at the process of romance God intends should take you to marriage? All you do is form bonds of the heart that are supposed to lead to marriage and break them. The result is wounding and emotional/relational scarring that make a later, more serious relationship aimed at matrimony harder, more emotionally complicated.

And the fierce fires of young romance - especially in the licentious, promiscuous culture of today - lead inevitably to sexual acts that cannot be undone. No longer will the culture around you lay upon you the expectation that your "love" for each other should wait until marriage for physical expression. Now, the expectation is that you will get sexual pretty much immediately. In this sexually-loose culture, you must be doubly-careful to guard yourself.

The greatest safeguard, though, for your heart is that it is "taken" by God; that you know and love Him above all else; that your daily experience of Him is so rich and full that you will do nothing to jeopardize that experience. Is this so? Do you walk with God in joyful, deep communion every day?

Philippians 3:7-8
7 But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ.
8 More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ,

 

[bèlla]

At that age most are experiencing on one another. I discouraged my daughter from dating in her teens. Few connections result in marriage and hurt is common. I don't believe in building a future based on supposition. You need to know who you are, what you desire from the other, and why he's the best fit. That can't be laden with butterflies.

It takes a long time to know someone's character. Everyone seems okay in the beginning. Reading the threads in the Courting and Marriage forums would open your eyes to the challenges of relationships and pitfalls of wrong alignments.

You have the rest of your life ahead of you. It's imperative you enjoy this season. It will never come again. You'll never have the absence of cares and responsibilities you have right now. Make the most of it. Don't be in a hurry to have grown folks problems. It ruins your bloom.

~bella

 

[Sketcher]

Proverbs 4:23
23 Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.

If all that it takes to sweep you off your feet are the things you've described, you are not following the advice of this verse. You should be a hard-won "prize," a woman whose heart requires careful, persistent, holy effort to be won.

You threw your heart at this guy and are discovering, on the bitter end of your experience with him, the wisdom of the verse above.

What is the point of embarking on a romantic relationship with a guy you aren't prepared to marry anyway? Why play at the process of romance God intends should take you to marriage? All you do is form bonds of the heart that are supposed to lead to marriage and break them. The result is wounding and emotional/relational scarring that make a later, more serious relationship aimed at matrimony harder, more emotionally complicated.

And the fierce fires of young romance - especially in the licentious, promiscuous culture of today - lead inevitably to sexual acts that cannot be undone. No longer will the culture around you lay upon you the expectation that your "love" for each other should wait until marriage for physical expression. Now, the expectation is that you will get sexual pretty much immediately. In this sexually-loose culture, you must be doubly-careful to guard yourself.

The greatest safeguard, though, for your heart is that it is "taken" by God; that you know and love Him above all else; that your daily experience of Him is so rich and full that you will do nothing to jeopardize that experience. Is this so? Do you walk with God in joyful, deep communion every day?

Philippians 3:7-8
7 But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ.
8 More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ,

At that age most are experiencing on one another. I discouraged my daughter from dating in her teens. Few connections result in marriage and hurt is common. I don't believe in building a future based on supposition. You need to know who you are, what you desire from the other, and why he's the best fit. That can't be laden with butterflies.

It takes a long time to know someone's character. Everyone seems okay in the beginning. Reading the threads in the Courting and Marriage forums would open your eyes to the challenges of relationships and pitfalls of wrong alignments.

You have the rest of your life ahead of you. It's imperative you enjoy this season. It will never come again. You'll never have the absence of cares and responsibilities you have right now. Make the most of it. Don't be in a hurry to have grown folks problems. It ruins your bloom.

~bella

I'm sure she's learned a lot about this stuff in the nearly 4 years since she posted the thread and didn't respond to it.

 

[bèlla]

I'm sure she's learned a lot about this stuff in the nearly 4 years since she posted the thread and didn't respond to it.

I didn’t notice the date. Thanks.

~bella

 

[aiki]

I'm sure she's learned a lot about this stuff in the nearly 4 years since she posted the thread and didn't respond to it.

Ack! Necro post. Didn't check. Thanks for the heads-up, Sketcher.

 

[carolina16]

[QUOTE = "Tango2000, post: 71773414, member: 401074"] Así que tengo 17 años, no fumo, no bebo, no uso drogas, etc. Soy pentecostal y estoy en la iglesia 5-6 veces por semana. Nunca antes había tenido novio.

De todos modos, conocí a este chico que tiene 16 años y es increíble. Él ama al Señor con todo su corazón, no fuma, no bebe, tampoco usa drogas. Creemos exactamente lo mismo. Nunca ha tenido novia. Me dejaba ponerme su chaqueta cuando empezaba a llover, no me dejaba tocar una puerta, estiraba el brazo para atraparme si tropezaba en un escalón, incluso fingió ser mi novio el segundo día que nos conocimos porque un tipo espeluznante me estaba molestando.

Me pidió mi número la noche que nos conocimos y se lo di. Hablamos y enviamos mensajes de texto todo el tiempo. Me invitó a un baile. Me lleva a la playa. Dijo que era una persona hermosa e increíble. Me dijo que no nos conocimos por casualidad. La forma en que nos miramos fue mágica.

Entonces, a raíz de todo esto, y de que me enamorara de él, le dije que estaba enamorada de él. Me dijo que era una mujer de Dios increíble, hermosa, divertida, pura y virtuosa y que yo era una de sus personas favoritas, pero que él no quiere una relación. Estaba absolutamente conmocionado. Dijo que no me merecía y que cualquier hombre sería bendecido si me tuviera. Luego continuó diciendo que espera que todavía podamos ser mejores amigos.

Ayuda [/ QUOTE]

If he doesn't want to, get out.