Relating to God

[Godislove94]

Why is it so hard for some of us to have a healthy relationship with God?

I've always felt like God is angry and out to get me, even after getting baptized and literally having my life changed almost two years ago. Even after what God did for me, deep down I still saw Him as out to punish me for my mistakes and never really got past that. It kills me too because I made some really bad mistakes due to that insecurity that have royally screwed my life up and now I'm terrified to have God anywhere near me. It's just like when I was in an abusive church even though I've long since left and I'm just...really frustrated. It seems like too whenever I try to get back up and go forward, something immediately knocks me down and my heart has been broken and shattered so many times. I don't trust Him and even when He does say "yes" to something I pray about or what have You, I always automatically go to thinking that the "yes" is actually coming from Satan and not Him, then I get mad because I think God is saying no...it's a big tangled mess. I know life is more than things and so is relating to God, but if I had to be honest, He and I just don't "work". My biggest fear that I've had for awhile is that what happened two years ago when things got bad again was so terrible that it has permanently shattered any hope of having a relationship with God like that again and that He and I are always going to have a tense relationship. It's to the point where I'm even considering if it's all worth it and whether or not it would be best if I walked away from Him, for His sake and mine (I feel like He wants to keep me at a distance and if I get close to Him, all He's going to do is hurt me and that while He loved me before things got messed up, that mistakes was so bad that it caused Him to change His mind toward me and now He doesn't even like me, let alone love me...like, all He wants to do for the rest of my life is punish me and cause me pain). And as far as what I said about what happened on baptism day and a broken relationship, I worry that God sees how even what happened that day didn't help me believe and has given up on trying to bring me to a place like that....after all, I wasted something incredible...why should He try again? It's like I'm one of the Pharisees who denied who Jesus was as He did miracles in front of them and I never meant to be like that or make any of the choices I've made that brought me to this place...

For reference:
The truth has set me free!!!!!!

 

[Galatea]

Many of the Pharisees became Christians. The greatest Pharisee of all turned out to be the greatest Christian of all: the Apostle Paul.

God does not hate you. He loves you with an everlasting love and wants you to have a close relationship with Him. He has forgiven you of any bad things you ever did. I hope you will get peace.

 

[Solomons Porch]

Why is it so hard for some of us to have a healthy relationship with God?

I've always felt like God is angry and out to get me, even after getting baptized and literally having my life changed almost two years ago. Even after what God did for me, deep down I still saw Him as out to punish me for my mistakes and never really got past that. It kills me too because I made some really bad mistakes due to that insecurity that have royally screwed my life up and now I'm terrified to have God anywhere near me. It's just like when I was in an abusive church even though I've long since left and I'm just...really frustrated. It seems like too whenever I try to get back up and go forward, something immediately knocks me down and my heart has been broken and shattered so many times. I don't trust Him and even when He does say "yes" to something I pray about or what have You, I always automatically go to thinking that the "yes" is actually coming from Satan and not Him, then I get mad because I think God is saying no...it's a big tangled mess. I know life is more than things and so is relating to God, but if I had to be honest, He and I just don't "work". My biggest fear that I've had for awhile is that what happened two years ago when things got bad again was so terrible that it has permanently shattered any hope of having a relationship with God like that again and that He and I are always going to have a tense relationship. It's to the point where I'm even considering if it's all worth it and whether or not it would be best if I walked away from Him, for His sake and mine (I feel like He wants to keep me at a distance and if I get close to Him, all He's going to do is hurt me and that while He loved me before things got messed up, that mistakes was so bad that it caused Him to change His mind toward me and now He doesn't even like me, let alone love me...like, all He wants to do for the rest of my life is punish me and cause me pain). And as far as what I said about what happened on baptism day and a broken relationship, I worry that God sees how even what happened that day didn't help me believe and has given up on trying to bring me to a place like that....after all, I wasted something incredible...why should He try again? It's like I'm one of the Pharisees who denied who Jesus was as He did miracles in front of them and I never meant to be like that or make any of the choices I've made that brought me to this place...

For reference:
The truth has set me free!!!!!!

Man I hear the pain and I hear the frustration, I even feel the grief. First you must know this is an attack against you, and satan will use this "mistake" to keep you feeling condemned and unworthy. Honey, he's a liar. He's an accuser. There is NO TRUTH in him. Recognize what you are wrestling with, its not you, its him. Get up and fight back. Tell him you are a child of God and he isn't gonna steal your joy and there is now therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Dont let him beat you down. Grab that bible and start quoting his future and what you really are to Christ. If he thinks he's got you to the point of sobbing and giving up, he wont do anything but pour it on worse. Resist him, call him out as a liar. Let your past go to voicemail, it has nothing new to say. You are covered under the blood of the Lamb, now claim it and walk in it. Jesus DID NOT die for you to give up, HE loved you enough to keep going and thats what you gotta do. Tell satan he aint using your past mistakes anymore, tell him your past is now swimming in the blood of Jesus Christ. Honey God loves you and He is for you, He is never against you, He has big plans for you, I promise.

 

[Godislove94]

Man I hear the pain and I hear the frustration, I even feel the grief. First you must know this is an attack against you, and satan will use this "mistake" to keep you feeling condemned and unworthy. Honey, he's a liar. He's an accuser. There is NO TRUTH in him. Recognize what you are wrestling with, its not you, its him. Get up and fight back. Tell him you are a child of God and he isn't gonna steal your joy and there is now therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Dont let him beat you down. Grab that bible and start quoting his future and what you really are to Christ. If he thinks he's got you to the point of sobbing and giving up, he wont do anything but pour it on worse. Resist him, call him out as a liar. Let your past go to voicemail, it has nothing new to say. You are covered under the blood of the Lamb, now claim it and walk in it. Jesus DID NOT die for you to give up, HE loved you enough to keep going and thats what you gotta do. Tell satan he aint using your past mistakes anymore, tell him your past is now swimming in the blood of Jesus Christ. Honey God loves you and He is for you, He is never against you, He has big plans for you, I promise.

Thank you.....I guess it doesn't really help that I'm under a lot of stress right now. One of the things I'm praying for right now is that God would make a way for me to be able to move out of my parents' house for school next year and get away from my family, mainly my abusive dad. I've honestly known for awhile that this is probably the best option for me, but the help never seemed to come financially. I've been praying seriously about it since my dad and I had another fight where he threatened me with physical harm, among other things and am so worked up about it that I can't tell what God is saying. Sometimes I think He's saying "yes" to this, but then I start thinking that the "yes" answer is all just in my head or, like I said, Satan disguising himself as God and lying to me about it. I can never tell and then I get angry at God when I think it's a "no" and then start accusing Him of hating me, not caring about me, only wanting me to be miserable and in pain, etc. I have a plan for how it could work and I'm worried deep down that God will sabotage it, even to the point where I'm willing to defy Him and go behind His back to make it work out...I'm that untrusting of Him.

 

[Solomons Porch]

Thank you.....I guess it doesn't really help that I'm under a lot of stress right now. One of the things I'm praying for right now is that God would make a way for me to be able to move out of my parents' house for school next year and get away from my family, mainly my abusive dad. I've honestly known for awhile that this is probably the best option for me, but the help never seemed to come financially. I've been praying seriously about it since my dad and I had another fight where he threatened me with physical harm, among other things and am so worked up about it that I can't tell what God is saying. Sometimes I think He's saying "yes" to this, but then I start thinking that the "yes" answer is all just in my head or, like I said, Satan disguising himself as God and lying to me about it. I can never tell and then I get angry at God when I think it's a "no" and then start accusing Him of hating me, not caring about me, only wanting me to be miserable and in pain, etc. I have a plan for how it could work and I'm worried deep down that God will sabotage it, even to the point where I'm willing to defy Him and go behind His back to make it work out...I'm that untrusting of Him.

Honey this is NOT GOD doing this to your life. He would never ever do this to you. Because your emotions is so tied up in the issues, YES, it is harder to hear clearly for yourself. Even I have troubles with that. May I ask how old you are?

 

[alex2165]

I heard very similar stories many times, but the answer to such condition only lies in the Word of GOD, like very much everything else in our life.

“Godislove,” got very good responses, all are perfectly to the point.

And I also would like to add concerning Paul, that he was not alone who was turned to Christ from the high ranking leaders of Israel, were have been also such people like Nicodimus and Joseph, two important members of the high court who buried Christ, and perhaps much much more among them.


James1.13-14

13.Let no one say when he is tempted, 'I am being tempted by GOD'. GOD cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone.

14.But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust.


Genesis 8.21

21.And the Lord smelled the soothing aroma, and the Lord said to Himself, "I will never again curse the ground on account of man, the intent of man's heart is evil from his youth, and I will never again destroy every living thing as I have done.”



Ecclesiastes 7.29

29."I have found only this, that GOD made men upright, but they sought out many devices."



Jeremiah 17.9-10

9.The heart is more deceitful than all else, and is desperately sick. Who can understand it?

10.'I the Lord search the heart, I test the mind to give to each man according to his ways, according to the result of his deeds.’



Ephesians 4.24

24.and put on the new self, which in the likeness of GOD has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.



So the point is, never blame GOD for anything, look in your own heart and see where you are standing in your life and what you can possibly do to change it for the better.


GOD gave you everything you need. Would be also nice if you also do, and give something back to GOD as appreciation for His care to you?


Not money, not tithes, not lip serves, not fake prayers, not attendance in the church, but righteousness, truth, compassion, mercy, and love.

 

[Phil 1:21]

Good stuff. Also remember that it wasn't God who tested Job, but Satan. Does God discipline us? Absolutely. But he does not inflict us with temptation to sin.

 

[Greg J.]

Why is it so hard for some of us to have a healthy relationship with God?

I've always felt like God is angry and out to get me, even after getting baptized and literally having my life changed almost two years ago. Even after what God did for me, deep down I still saw Him as out to punish me for my mistakes and never really got past that. It kills me too because I made some really bad mistakes due to that insecurity that have royally screwed my life up and now I'm terrified to have God anywhere near me. It's just like when I was in an abusive church even though I've long since left and I'm just...really frustrated. It seems like too whenever I try to get back up and go forward, something immediately knocks me down and my heart has been broken and shattered so many times. I don't trust Him and even when He does say "yes" to something I pray about or what have You, I always automatically go to thinking that the "yes" is actually coming from Satan and not Him, then I get mad because I think God is saying no...it's a big tangled mess. I know life is more than things and so is relating to God, but if I had to be honest, He and I just don't "work". My biggest fear that I've had for awhile is that what happened two years ago when things got bad again was so terrible that it has permanently shattered any hope of having a relationship with God like that again and that He and I are always going to have a tense relationship. It's to the point where I'm even considering if it's all worth it and whether or not it would be best if I walked away from Him, for His sake and mine (I feel like He wants to keep me at a distance and if I get close to Him, all He's going to do is hurt me and that while He loved me before things got messed up, that mistakes was so bad that it caused Him to change His mind toward me and now He doesn't even like me, let alone love me...like, all He wants to do for the rest of my life is punish me and cause me pain). And as far as what I said about what happened on baptism day and a broken relationship, I worry that God sees how even what happened that day didn't help me believe and has given up on trying to bring me to a place like that....after all, I wasted something incredible...why should He try again? It's like I'm one of the Pharisees who denied who Jesus was as He did miracles in front of them and I never meant to be like that or make any of the choices I've made that brought me to this place...

For reference:
The truth has set me free!!!!!!

Are you trusting God for things he did not promise? While he loves us enormously and wants to give us gifts and even commands us to ask and keep asking for them, it is pretty easy to have a heart in an unhealthy way where we are expecting God to answer our prayers. That's different than having God-granted faith that he will answer a prayer. Our goal is to be yielded to God so that we will accept whatever he causes or allows to happen in our lives, and still be thankful for all he has given us (and still gives us). Then you will have the kind humility it takes to receive what you ask for in prayer without it making you seem a tiny bit more superior, which is much worse for you than not receiving what you ask for.

 

[Godislove94]

Honey this is NOT GOD doing this to your life. He would never ever do this to you. Because your emotions is so tied up in the issues, YES, it is harder to hear clearly for yourself. Even I have troubles with that. May I ask how old you are?

I'm 22, about to turn 23 in a little over a month.