Relapse after almost 2 years **trigger warning**

[thislifewithinmecries]

After 2 years of being cut free, I relapsed last week and I feel like such a failure. Although it was not a full fledge cutting, I only scratched the surface in 2 places, I was so terrified. Not while I was doing it of course because I don't feel as if I am present when I cut, but afterwards all I could do was cry and scold myself. I went to see my therapist a couple of days later and explained to her that I relapsed. I did stop myself, and she thought that was a good sign but I also told her how much I felt like I had failed myself. I don't know, I'm just beyond dissapointed that I went back there, to that dark place that sometimes feels as if there is not return. I asked for the Lord to be with me even when I had the blade to my skin, and since I stopped, his presence was truely there. I'm still haning in there trying very hard to stay away from that behavior. Lord, please stay by my side.

 

[goldenviolet]

sweetie it's a lie that you have failled. you have come so very far! we all seem to get tempations for things we've conquered; and i think more than half us slip up, for various reasons... it reminds us what we are working on; and gives us re-newed motivation... so we eventually get back on track. you did all the right things! you told your counselor, you reached out for your spiritual families support: you confessed and are looking for away to get back on track. i'm proud of you! at one time, you would have handled this in away that would have shown very the opiset in these/ and the cycle of healling and managing your trials... look how far you've come! and whatever trigger you had, look how hard you are fighting it! i'm very proud of you. we're all in different levels of healling, surviving, managing... you've come along ways. this is awesome! i'm very proud of you for handling your tempation and trigger this well. you are inspiration to those still seeking your amount of reserve and recovery!
xo dee

 

[meh]

You did not fail. You have two years to point to when you think you can't go further this time. Nobody can take those two years of victory away from you. With this habit/behavior/whatever sometimes 1 hour is a victory for us.

You did stop yourself. That is amazingly strong. I think you are braver and stronger than you know. And it's so wonderful that even these darkest places, the Lord will hear our cries for help.

I am proud of you and you are an inspiration.

After 2 years of being cut free, I relapsed last week and I feel like such a failure. Although it was not a full fledge cutting, I only scratched the surface in 2 places, I was so terrified. Not while I was doing it of course because I don't feel as if I am present when I cut, but afterwards all I could do was cry and scold myself. I went to see my therapist a couple of days later and explained to her that I relapsed. I did stop myself, and she thought that was a good sign but I also told her how much I felt like I had failed myself. I don't know, I'm just beyond dissapointed that I went back there, to that dark place that sometimes feels as if there is not return. I asked for the Lord to be with me even when I had the blade to my skin, and since I stopped, his presence was truely there. I'm still haning in there trying very hard to stay away from that behavior. Lord, please stay by my side.

 

[plmarquette]

Progress.... a day, a week, a month, a year....every time you get up again (Prov 24.16) you go further! Longer!

It has been 8 months without a cigarette....since my heart attack.... zero smokes, down from 2.5 packs....the power of God....

The temptation is there, I choose not to listen to it...because it hurts the devil and strengthens me....

You can win, are winning, will continue to win....amen?

 

[Jayangel81]

Everyone here is right. Noone can take that victory from you. You are doing awesome. You have to give yourself credit, this is a really hard thing to get over, alot of us wish we had your 2 years. dont take that away from yourself, please.


...

Just get right back up on that horse

Lets aim for longer now shall we?

Just remember...

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."
Philippians 4:13​

 

[EbonNelumbo]

You didn't fail. Prayers to you.

 

[Christine_H0pe]

You didn't fail at all, don't say that. You are so strong for not doing anything for two years, that's amazing. Just keep strong and hang in there.

x