Rejection

[romans324]

I know that the root of my problem with self esteem is rejection. I have had so many past expeiences with this that I am unable to count. It is even hard with my walk with the Lord sometimes because I don't think I am doing what He wants. Its not about salvtion becasue that is fulfilled and understood that I can not do this. But rather just living up to the expecations of what I am to be. Has anyone experience this?

 

[restore]

Father pls send some supporters in the brother's life, help him,amen

chatting more good friends helps too,

 

[everlast]

I know that the root of my problem with self esteem is rejection. I have had so many past expeiences with this that I am unable to count. It is even hard with my walk with the Lord sometimes because I don't think I am doing what He wants. Its not about salvtion becasue that is fulfilled and understood that I can not do this. But rather just living up to the expecations of what I am to be. Has anyone experience this?

Your not alone romans324, rejection is also one of the main factors of my self-esteem, I also have a history of it, I also feel that im not doing enough or that I didnt do enough, a constant struggle that I try to keeped balance with the help from the Lord.

 

[rita727]

Your not alone romans324, rejection is also one of the main factors of my self-esteem, I also have a history of it, I also feel that im not doing enough or that I didnt do enough, a constant struggle that I try to keeped balance with the help from the Lord.

Me 3.

Sometimes I'm so critical of myself that I don't need a voice to tell me I'm worthless. I do it to myself.

It's better than it used to be tho.

But it's still there. In one moment, I can be proud of doing something and feel closer to God. The next moment, I'm feel just...

 

[gal4God]

me 4.
i've had loads of recjections rencently
i turst that God will bring me thru this.

 

[Mayflower1]

Fear of rejection and rejection itself can really eat you up inside. It all deals with your thoughts though.... No matter what you have been through, if you think good about yourself, then no one can bring you down. Remember that God is one who will never reject you.

"For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: Eat and drink, saith he to thee; but his heart is not with thee." Proverbs 23:7

 

[JoshuaM]

I know that the root of my problem with self esteem is rejection. I have had so many past expeiences with this that I am unable to count. It is even hard with my walk with the Lord sometimes because I don't think I am doing what He wants. Its not about salvtion becasue that is fulfilled and understood that I can not do this. But rather just living up to the expecations of what I am to be. Has anyone experience this?

it is as we have spoken on yahoo. sigh.

 

[KritterCat]

I struggle with the fear of rejection - I hear the voices in my head telling me "I should be this" or "I should be that" and find myself comparing myself to others. But this isn't from God, it is from the enemy - trying to keep me down, and from following Christ with my full heart.

 

[Jesusfreak4life8629]

Me.....9?

 

[Chococat]

I struggle with the fear of rejection - I hear the voices in my head telling me "I should be this" or "I should be that" and find myself comparing myself to others. But this isn't from God, it is from the enemy - trying to keep me down, and from following Christ with my full heart.

Join the club as I have exactly the same problem. I get thoughts that I am a horrible person and a lousy Christian etc.

 

[Jennifer615]

Yes, that is definitely where my low self-esteme comes from. I was actually teased at school from my very first day I started kindergarten, to my last day at school, in the 9th grade, when my mother pulled me out of school on the verge of a nervious breakdown. Not being able to fit in with your peers as a child really makes you feel bad about yourself.

Growing up, and through my adulthood, I've had alot of oh so polite brush offs. Do people think I'm so stupid that I don't actually realise they are rejecting me? I tend to stand back as far as making friends is concerned, unless I am sure I won't be rejected.

When I've been rejected by someone I considered a friend and thought I could trust, I just lose it. I often sink into a depression. That is why I am so careful about making friends.

This has spilled into my Christian life. I am sure I am not good enough for God, and to this day, I'm not sure if I'm saved. I just don't feel I am good enough as a Christian. I would love to get a revelation that God is OK with me, but I just don't know.

Yes, rejection is the root cause of my low self-esteme.

 

[Chococat]

I know how you feel Jennifer as I've had so called "friends" reject me. In fact I am currently being kind of rejected by an online friend that I really thought cared about me and it does hurt. She denies rejecting me but I can tell she is doing.

 

[renewhope]

~

 

[thenewageriseth]

I can definitely relate. I find myself either being compared or comparing myself sometimes.

 

[thenewageriseth]

in all honesty, who likes being rejected?
whenever someone is rejected, i think there is a direct effect on self-esteem, high or low. when someone tells you they don't want you, it tells us that we're not good enough. simple. so why does this happen so often? i think it's a perpetual problem of society. i live in the US and glamour and glitz is everywhere. the problem is, what they display is not reality. how this relates to the real world is the audience (the society, us) search for what is valued by its performers. where i live, it's money, beauty, body, material possessions.

should you not have these items that seem to be valued in that society, you are automatically an outcast, a reject. people will reject you because of it. kids will call you names, boyfriends/girlfriends will break your heart because they find someone prettier or richer. friends will back bite you because they'll want something from you that they find valuable and if they find you don't have it, they won't befriend you anymore. i see it more and more, and younger at that. now you could be worldly or Godly, black or white (or other colors in between), male or female, it doesn't matter. the society will affect the minds of its members. perhaps that's why we are, in a sense, brainwashed into believing we are not good enough is this perpetually growing materialistic world.

i, too, have gone through much rejection in my life. i've always been different in grade school & high school, college, growing up, etc... not in a particular way. i am heterosexual, have interests, considered "normal" by many. yet i've face the pains of rejection in many forms (by friends, men, family, work, school, feeling not Goldly enough, etc...).

honestly, i truly believe it's our society that sort of brain washes its members into believing what's acceptable and what we should reject, as well as the kind of people to reject and how to reject. the world acts upon what they see everywhere. and who are the ones to be affected/shaped? we are, its people. however, the shaping of the mind is so obscure that it often goes unnoticed by the one being shaped. BUT, it surely is evident in the self-esteem and perception of the individual that is being shaped over time. maybe i'm just rambling here. but think about it. fads and fashions change in a heartbeat. what controls it? the society. where does the society find it? through it's managing members (i.e.: celebrities). what was considered valuable is no longer such because the greater masses (society) does not see it as such. take virginity, a private matter that's affected by what the greater masses think, for example. i just read an article about a 30 year old virgin female looking to loose it. her parents were rooting for her to loose it because they thought it was about time. something so pure, chaste, Holy, was considered invaluable where the parents were even supporting the loss of it. where's the value in that? how was that changed in society over the years? she admitted to having low self-esteem because she's a social outcast for being a virgin! i think she's beautiful for being one.

i think the people who are different (and thus are most likely rejected by society) are the beautiful ones and they are the ones with substance and character. why? because they are not followers of the greater masses, they are not robots, automatons, just following others because they think it's cool and are accepted for it. once the society's mindset, its fad, is out of style, people reject it and people become rejected because of it.

i follow what i know is right in my heart. i know God has the best intention for me, so He is the fad is follow for it is static, never changing, and i will not be rejected for continually following His ways because of his static nature. it's easier said than done because i know first hand the pains of direct hurtful words (you're ugly, you're too short, you didn't make the top ten, you're not good enough, you're not smart enough, blah, blah, blah). but humans are variable, just as the fads of what's acceptable and what should be rejected.

I WHOLEHEARTEDLY AGREE, 100% WITH THIS POST!
WORD UP, YO!

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

I know how you feel. I've dealt with a lot of rejection in my life too.

 

[Chococat]

in all honesty, who likes being rejected?
whenever someone is rejected, i think there is a direct effect on self-esteem, high or low. when someone tells you they don't want you, it tells us that we're not good enough. simple. so why does this happen so often? i think it's a perpetual problem of society. i live in the US and glamour and glitz is everywhere. the problem is, what they display is not reality. how this relates to the real world is the audience (the society, us) search for what is valued by its performers. where i live, it's money, beauty, body, material possessions.

should you not have these items that seem to be valued in that society, you are automatically an outcast, a reject. people will reject you because of it. kids will call you names, boyfriends/girlfriends will break your heart because they find someone prettier or richer. friends will back bite you because they'll want something from you that they find valuable and if they find you don't have it, they won't befriend you anymore. i see it more and more, and younger at that. now you could be worldly or Godly, black or white (or other colors in between), male or female, it doesn't matter. the society will affect the minds of its members. perhaps that's why we are, in a sense, brainwashed into believing we are not good enough is this perpetually growing materialistic world.

i, too, have gone through much rejection in my life. i've always been different in grade school & high school, college, growing up, etc... not in a particular way. i am heterosexual, have interests, considered "normal" by many. yet i've face the pains of rejection in many forms (by friends, men, family, work, school, feeling not Goldly enough, etc...).

honestly, i truly believe it's our society that sort of brain washes its members into believing what's acceptable and what we should reject, as well as the kind of people to reject and how to reject. the world acts upon what they see everywhere. and who are the ones to be affected/shaped? we are, its people. however, the shaping of the mind is so obscure that it often goes unnoticed by the one being shaped. BUT, it surely is evident in the self-esteem and perception of the individual that is being shaped over time. maybe i'm just rambling here. but think about it. fads and fashions change in a heartbeat. what controls it? the society. where does the society find it? through it's managing members (i.e.: celebrities). what was considered valuable is no longer such because the greater masses (society) does not see it as such. take virginity, a private matter that's affected by what the greater masses think, for example. i just read an article about a 30 year old virgin female looking to loose it. her parents were rooting for her to loose it because they thought it was about time. something so pure, chaste, Holy, was considered invaluable where the parents were even supporting the loss of it. where's the value in that? how was that changed in society over the years? she admitted to having low self-esteem because she's a social outcast for being a virgin! i think she's beautiful for being one.

i think the people who are different (and thus are most likely rejected by society) are the beautiful ones and they are the ones with substance and character. why? because they are not followers of the greater masses, they are not robots, automatons, just following others because they think it's cool and are accepted for it. once the society's mindset, its fad, is out of style, people reject it and people become rejected because of it.

i follow what i know is right in my heart. i know God has the best intention for me, so He is the fad is follow for it is static, never changing, and i will not be rejected for continually following His ways because of his static nature. it's easier said than done because i know first hand the pains of direct hurtful words (you're ugly, you're too short, you didn't make the top ten, you're not good enough, you're not smart enough, blah, blah, blah). but humans are variable, just as the fads of what's acceptable and what should be rejected.

Excellent post. It's so true. There is so much pressure on people especially women to look and act in a certain way. For instance the message from society is that to be beautiful, loved and successful you have to be skinny. Therefore we have young girls developing anorexia and bulimia because they have been brainwashed into thinking that if they are not a "size 0" like some celebrity bimbo they are fat and ugly. It's a lie from the devil himself and it is costing many lovely young women their lives because some of them are literally starving themselves to death.

Another cause for perceived rejection (not always genuine rejection) is that people today, even many Christians are so darn busy and so they neglect their friends not because they intend to but because they simply don't have time to "stop and smell the roses on the way". IMO people would be happier and a lot less stressed out if they weren't so busy all the time. I'm not suggesting we should all be lazy merely take a little time to be with people and, most importantly of all, God as they are far more important than tasks and jobs.