lovechild05 said:
(...) It happens that when a Christian falls into the trap of fornication and they induldge due to their edge to do so, they then would feel guilty, shameful, embarrassed, feel like God will never even listen to them if they prayed to Him, or that He will never allow them to become His children in any way ever again, their spirit is what we can call "broken" because of their act of fornicating... (...)
Hmm. Okay, here's my personal experience. I bring this up because I hope it will add something to think about.
When I was a Christian, I can remember feeling exactly what you describe in your first paragraph. And I can tell you, for me, it was caused by something far deeper than simply "fornicating".
To use your words, my spirit was not this broken because of simply being sexually active. It was broken because for years, even before my conversion, I had been shamed for having a sexuality at all (among other things). In addition, I had been treated as if every mistake I made and every misdeed or wrong thing I did was, in fact, completely unforgivable, and made me one of the most worthless pieces of human refuse on the planet. And I don't mean huge, painfully bad things like grand theft or assault, I mean things like spilling my milk at dinnertime or forgetting to feed the dog.
I was raped by a boyfriend when I was 16. The same family attitude carried on when I was punished and vilified for it. No one believed me, and the shaming was simply reinforced with a vengeance. It took on a religious overtone because my mother had converted to Christianity shortly before the rape happened. But really, I think the tone of it was simply a detail. I had
always been shamed for sex-related issues.
So my first thought at your post was that there's something deeper going on with whoever is thinking they're this horrible for having sex. I mean, this sounds like something much greater than just guilt, it sounds like deep, deep shame and self-loathing. And I guess my first piece of advice would be to head to a counselor and explore why they feel so incredibly ashamed of sex.
I suppose another piece of advice would be to couple that counseling with speaking to religious leaders they trust about the issue, maybe to gain some kind of perspective on what the Bible actually says about sex and sexuality.
I might also add that I saw a preponderance of the aforementioned attitude towards sex and sexuality in the church experiences I did have while I was Christian. It was one of the things which ultimately led me away from Christianity. So if the person in question hopes to remain within the faith, learning and adopting a healthier attitude about sexuality within the larger context of its place within Christianity is going to be important.
Sorry if this is a bit rambly; I'm kind of tired.
