Rebelling...

[ej]

I have a personal 'thing' to ask you lot about...

My boyfriend is a commited Christian, but recently told me about his 'rebellion period' when he denied God and led a selfish life of fornication, indulgence, etc.

He tells me that withut this experience, he would not be the man he is today. This period lasted 3 years and ended 2 years ago.

I desperately want to love and accept him despite this, but find it hard to have faith that he will never return to this lifestyle. Any opinions?

I'd really appreciate some guidance! Thanks guys!

 

[paulewog]

What's his life now say? Is he living in accordance to God's word?

.... don't forget to pray! ...

 

[User9056]

I know many many people who im sure have done much more than he has. The Lord foregives and you should as well as it is commanded. If he is walking for the Lord now and has no desire to return to his sinful life you should have no reason to trust him. Human nature isnt the easiest thing to change however if he is doing it you should be there to support and hold him accountable

 

[ej]

Thanks Snowpunk!

That's the sort of thing I was hoping to hear... hooray!

 

[dreamcatcher]

you showing that you trust him will give him even more of a reason to NOT want to return to his old lifestyle.if he hasn't returned to it in 2 years, with your love and trust and encouragement,i don't think there is much of a chance of him going back to it.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Well, if his experience was anything like mine you don't have to worry.
I live under mountains of regret. I'll live with it for the rest of my life. And shame. Hopefully I can use my stupidity to help someone else from doing the same stuff.

 

[BaggaDonuts]

Yeah, DON'T WORRY AT ALL about that. He is just saying that his experiences have made him a stronger man. Don't read too much into it. It seems you obviously care about him, so simply do that. You guys will grow together if you both feel strong companionship with one another. He's not going to grow AWAY from you Relax

 

[psycmajor]

emmajane,

Could you clarify what he meant when he said that "he would not be the man he is today"?
===
As for myself, I find that unsettling. Based on what you said, I interpret that as him justifying to himself the things he's done, as if what happened was a good thing. His attitude seems too cavalier. Does he have any regrets? What was his reasoning behind his backsliding? Has he promised to never do that again? Has his walk with God been stable or shaky?

And I wouldn't be at all surprised if he backslid again. I wouldn't trust it to not happen again. Sorry to tell you that, but I wouldn't. That's me, though.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

A lot of the stupid things I've done have helped me make who I am. I've learned a lot of lessons. I leanred them the hard way, but I learned them.
I'm not proud of anything I've done. I really know what it means to not deserve any part in the family of God. I'm a creep. I know what I've done. I don't deserve forgiveness. But I've got it. I can see down roads that kids are looking down. I know where they lead. Hopefully I can steer some of them away from the wrong roads. That's my only consolation is that hopefully God can use my stupidity to help someone else not be like me.
Don't be like me. I suck. Stick with Jesus.

 

[Simcha]

I think it says more for a guy, when he can say, I didn't have to go through a rebelling period, because I know who I am in christ... but if you truly love your boyfriend, then I would say, that if you are questioning his not returning to a life of sin, then you should pray about it, because maybe there are other factors involved.

 

[MyangelDems]

17th April 2003 at 05:15 PM Mr.Cheese said this in Post #6

Well, if his experience was anything like mine you don't have to worry.
I live under mountains of regret. I'll live with it for the rest of my life. And shame. Hopefully I can use my stupidity to help someone else from doing the same stuff.

ya know you really hurt my heart with this one, i've observed you and you seem really nice and quite a decent guy, and not the least bit stupid. God has no shame in you, you shouldn't have it in yourself. Yes we all make mistakes, some of us make some really major mistakes, but God's just to forgive all. What people forget though is to forgive themselves. Mountains can be quite heavy ya know, might want to chuck some of that regret and never call yourself stupid. (lol my hubby would be laughing at me right now, i tend to degrade myself and tell other people not to do it to themselves) but you are right who better to help other people not to do something than someone who has been there and done it? Thats the awesome thing about God, he takes our mistakes and things we think are bad and make great things come from them. Instead of just seeing regrets, see the good things that came after too. I try to live my life seeing the good things in everything from plants and trees, to people (i even tried mice *shudders* and i can't stand them ) Anyhow enough blabbing at you, your post sorta made me wanna shake some sense into you a bit, done that on to other things now!

Dems

 

[shirou]

emmajane,

Could you clarify what he meant when he said that "he would not be the man he is today"?
===
As for myself, I find that unsettling. Based on what you said, I interpret that as him justifying to himself the things he's done, as if what happened was a good thing. His attitude seems too cavalier. Does he have any regrets? What was his reasoning behind his backsliding? Has he promised to never do that again? Has his walk with God been stable or shaky?

And I wouldn't be at all surprised if he backslid again. I wouldn't trust it to not happen again. Sorry to tell you that, but I wouldn't. That's me, though.

It sounds to me as though it helped him grow into who he is now, i.e. a good Christian. Everybody makes mistakes--the smart people learn from them. It sounds to me like that's what this man has done.

 

[Patroclus]

The point is that the events in our lives shape who we are at any given point. It is unfortunate if a person goes through a period of rebellion to grow; however, that is the way it works sometimes.

For me, I tell people that my faith was not authentic until I first doubted. A very good friend of mine is very much committed to crisis-resolution and honest conflic management because his parents were terrible at that stuff. My friends parents decided never to make fun of each other (even in jest) because they saw Sonny and Cher doing that on TV. My friend's parents are still together; Sonny and Cher divorced. A good friend of mine just quit smoking. He has told me that he is going to do his best to make sure that his kids do not start.

I say, don't sweat it. Thank God that your boyfriend is continually being galvanized.