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Really need some advice

Adrianna91

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Dec 6, 2010
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I've been talking to a guy for the past 3 months online, phone and webcam. We are planning on meeting in the summer. He is a really lovely person and is understanding and supportive of my anxiety issues etc. We are so similar in terms of beliefs etc it just feels so 'right'.

However, even though this guy has tons of good qualities, he is extremely sensitive and quite needy. It's getting me quite embarrassed and he has told me to be honest with him and to tell him to stop if he is being a bit cringeworthy.

I feel like it would be a huge shame to end things, and i feel like i will never meet a person like him again, as men like him are so rare to find.

Does anyone have any advice; or is this the end?
 
I

ImperialPhantom

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If you notice this after only 3 mos, long distance he would become an albatross around your neck. Maybe better you DON'T meet another man like him. Fade away.

Yep, and even if it feels like he is the only one with the good qualities he has, there are millions more eligible bachelors in the uk with those qualities.
 
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NiobiumTragedy

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Remember that on the internet, we portray the side of ourselves that we want people to see with much less of the things we don't.

That being said, every one of us has issues... you with anxiety and him with his. The real question is are these issues that will damage the relationship or are they things that can be worked on? Will you be able to have a good, stable and loving relationship or will it be one that you struggle just to talk every day because his issues push you away to the point where you grit your teeth when he calls?

All things to consider. There are billions of people in the world with great qualities, so it's not like you've found the only one.
 
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May 25, 2010
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I am married to a man who is also quite needy... honestly I will say that it's not for everyone and I think it IS a calling. We were in an LDR for four and a half years, but we were so similar in every other way that we kept it up. I won't lie. It's difficult sometimes dealing with his emotional neediness. You need to be emotionally strong yourself and feel truly called to be their mate to have the endurance necessary to find good in such a relationship.

But the rare times that they seem to have real joy are such gems they can keep you going for a long time.

Judge for yourself... do you love this guy and can you remain committed through the thick and thin? If you don't love him yet, do you think you can?

Don't enter the relationship lightly because if you leave him he will be torn apart for a lifetime.
 
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